I haven’t tried any meditations. I find myself laughing out loud at how absurd this is. I should never have gone back to TMI. It looks like there’s nothing more to discuss. It’s been pretty much stated nothin’s changing anytime soon and I’m left with this delusion about Anosh1.
November 6th, 2019
I have however, come to understand and accept that trust is the next state of being to become. I somehow see it now. It is time to trust and I guess I feel I can work at that.
Come Be With US (Nov 8th 2019)
I decided to maintain my meditation routine; at least somewhat. I don’t know that this will yield greater clarity.
Entering my session after gathering energy for a short bit I extended myself to all those who stand with me. I extended my field into our bond, but everything was none-the-less opaque to me. No doubt I am likely rusty but now I am blind. I can’t penetrate any of this at all.
When I got to F27 I realized I had no idea where I was. With difficultly I consolidate in my SP but it too was mostly opaque to me. I worked at consolidating for awhile with little improvement.
Then something familiar said to me, “We are here”. I clearly detected it for an instant but then where did it go? I called out, “Please increase our distinction or clarify your identity”, but there was no response. Then something dark enveloped me and I could feel it. I knew it wasn’t good as I said to it, “I will only allow that which is true in this contact. Any deception, guile, or darkness – leave now – I will not tolerate it”. And it was gone.
Then I thought I could detect faintly Those I Know and inquired, “Who are you for I do not [perceive] know [you]”? “Elohim” was replied as if from a distance and I accepted that it was Them; at least briefly. Then after a moment something else said to me, “Come be with Us”, and I answer, “I would but in myself I cannot”, and suddenly I was faintly made aware of the Great Hall, also as if in the distance.
Could I possibly get there I questioned being incapacitated like this and then I heard, “Come”. Suddenly I found myself weakly consolidating on the Hall’s portico and – I was with the Presence of the Light. It was so good to be with Her2.
“You desired to be with me”, She state3. “Yes. Thank you for bringing me here”, I answered; all else was opaque other than a very faint image of Her. She turned, taking my hand and led me into the Hall’s interior but this too was mostly imperceivable. I had no idea where I was except that I was with Her.
Then She said to me, “You desire truth”. “Yes. I need it to find balance”, I answered and She turned leading me as She stepped into the Fountain of Light4 leading me into the Light with Her. We did not proceed far. I wasn’t sure what I could do here as She stated, “Here is access to all Universes”, as if offering it to me and I answered, “You had told me I may come here to find answers to my questions”. “Yes. Ask”, She offered.
In reply I explained to Her, “I cannot ask. I have been willful in my arguments and I have been told that I cannot know now and that the time – has not yet come. My questions would violate those pronouncements. To which She answered, “It is your name to be willful – William” (William meaning strong willed warrior or determined protector).
I struggled for a long time trying to find something I could ask; any key question that I might get an answer to but I could find no question that was appropriated for me to ask this Source or whatever this place is in contact with.
She looked at me as if waiting and so I said to Her, “It is my desire to know the truth of Anosh”, and the Presence answered, “She is … as you”. “As me”? I asked puzzled. “She is physical, as you are physical. Your meet in spirit”, She explained and I was relieved that there was at least something I could be told. It was good to know that Those I meet here support me in whatever way They can. Then the Presence turned to leave the Fountain and we left.
Stepping out of the Fountain I was able to faintly observe the other figures that I commonly see here. They always stand adjacent to the Fountain; standing as if Greek goddesses in waiting, draped in fine gowns. I turned to the Presence asking, “Who are these? I have met these before, here”. And the Presence answered, “These are oracles of the Light. They assist me – as voices; as speaking voices for me, but you – meet me directly without oracle.
I was puzzled why that was and She immediately answered, “It is your right”. “My right?” I asked incredulously. “It is your birth-right”, She explained. “I have not earned this right – I am mortal [form – how can this be]”, I countered. “You have rejected and have no fear of Darkness. It is your birth-right to be here – with Me. This is your home”, the Presence of the Light state factually.
“You [and others] have shown me much. I am thankful to all Those here”, I answered. Then we walked along the portico looking out over the city which was like a whisper of a perception.
Then the One who I first met during Lifelines, the One that told me of the Great Recovery approached5. It was very good to be with both this entities from Whom I have received so much support and then the Presence vanished.
I turned to this One and we were together looking over the City. I ask Her, “You have said my purpose is largely in the Recovery. Can you tell me when that is”? “It is sooner then you think”, is all she would say.
Once exited to C1 I checked and the galactic core was above horizon. Very poor seeing conditions for me; guess that makes sense6, but it still made an impression that They brought me up for a bit; that They came for me.
Nov 22nd 2019 8:00 AM (12h 1m LST)
1 hr manual meditation
In recent days I find I continue to be able to stop myself from striving as soon as I detect it. I’ve also been stopping myself from allowing any distrust to take hold. But given that, where am I? Now what?
As there was a brief opportunity to get a meditation in before the galactic core would rise above the horizon, I pursued a manual training meditation this morning; not expecting any contacts – likely poor seeing conditions at 13hr LST.
I’m continuing my new energy gathering process early in the meditation session in which rather then gather energy to myself I disperse my energy to all Those with me; a moment of fellowship.
I proceeded slowly thru my mnemonics giving special attention to make solid attachment to the respective levels – but nothing. In F21 I called out to Yurael but again there was nothing. I wondered maybe I’m not actually in F21, maybe I’m not getting anywhere at all, so I began to force myself into the levels as Tellaidian has directed at times. Then I began to get a faint hint of perception in F21, but I moved on as I thought it was too easy to memory-load in this place. I stayed in F22 for a short while working on relevant targets there.
When I got to F27 again I wondered whether I was really there. I couldn’t tell where I was but then there was a faint image of the creature that resembles the elvish-like queen-like figure I previously met at the Planing Aspect7 here. She appeared faintly in the distance. She was looking straight at me. I wondered whether it was actually her but then she extended her arm toward me as she called to me, “Come”, in an welcoming manner so I proceeded to try and consolidate with her.
When I arrived I found the seeming royal elvish figure facing me wearing a cloak-like garment and a hint of some other garment underneath that glittered as if jewels.
She announced in a golden feminine voice, “It is a joy for us to have your assistance”. I bowed and answered, “I am privileged to do so”. She looked at me for a moment and said softly, “I wish to show you something. Come”. As she turned I followed and we walked along the Planning Aspect I’ve seen here in F27 before. Once we were past it we came to an unobstructed view of the Earth.
I saw a grievous site: the Earth appearing decrepit. Then this creature of splendor said to me, “The time is coming”, and I asked, “What time are you referring to”? She promptly answered, “The time when tides will turn. We will wash away the filth and purge the poisons that are upon the Earth”. Pausing for a moment, then turning to look at me she added, “We will call you when the time arrives”. Again bowing I answered, “It is my honor to assist you”. After this exchange I was about to leave but then she held up her right hand palm facing me as it appeared she was imparting something to me When she lowered her arm I thanked her and left for my SP27.
When I got to my SP I immediately went to touch the large crystal intrusion in the right wall of my cave that offers tranquility to me. After a time I turned and going to my window with my right hand I began to draw upon the energy conduit from the Elohim while I placed my left hand on my labradorite sphere which I charge with my energy. After a short time I went to F42.
Once at my F42 mnemonic at Alpha Squared (AS) I forced myself to consolidate there and then turned my focus beyond the station. After some moments as I pressed my perception beyond AS it dissolved behind me. I worked for a long time trying to penetrate the abyss. Then something poked me and looking down to my left I saw Tellaidian standing next to me trying to get my attention.
As I looked at him suddenly I saw him sitting in meditation in his alcove-like grotto deep within his home planet8. I could see his surroundings there, but then suddenly I found myself back looking at him here as he turned and began to walk into the oblivion surrounding us. I followed on his right careful to keep my attention locked onto him.
After a short distance Tellaidian lifted his right arm in front of me pointing outward to my upper right. I looked but saw nothing. Then Tellaidian said to me, “Look….. and SEE”. As I continued to concentrate more penetrating insight I suddenly saw an enormous filament of linked galaxies clusters and super-clusters laced together extending far into the distance. Then Tellaidian instructed me, “Look away [from the clusters], look into the darkness. So I looked at the dark void of space that was adjacent to the filament; the void appearing far more spacious.
Then time slowed or I was shifting through time scales. It was like looking through layers of darkness or sifting though layers trying to discover what I was suppose to find. And then I saw Ancients as I’ve recently seen Them9. They appeared as oblong ovoids of light standing in a circle clearly concentrating on the area in the center of Their circle.
Then one of Them extended something like an appendage of light at me and suddenly I was pulled into the circle with Them. I was drawn to look into the center where Their attention was focused. I saw as if a deep funnel or vortex in the black space with the surrounding blackness pouring into it, as if seeing some large full running water fall pouring black ink into a seeming infinite deep hole. If I can use size here the structure was about 8 feet in diameter. I looked at this for awhile.
Then I ask, “What is this”? One Ancient replied, “We control [add] future realities into [mind of] the Universe”. I recognized this as possibly connected to the network of so-called star-gates where there are other Celestials10.
“What are you adding”? I asked. “We are removing – war”, They answered and then They added, “We look forward to your return so you may advise further changes”.
After this time I became exhausted and had to leave. Going back I found Tellaidian waiting for me but as the exhaustion was growing on me I parted with Tellaidian to get back to my SP27.
When I made it to my SP portico in F27 it was like wading through thigh-deep molasses; so much work to cross this small area to my SP entrance so slowly. Once inside I was better and went to stand at my window but I soon had to turn away and sit down in my chair at the head of my wooden table as I was spent. I found I was too exhausted to consider going back and so I stayed a long time considering this problem while I felt some relief resting in my SP.
As my seat faces my door I saw a large pure-white angel stooping down to enter through my open doorway and it then stood to the left of my table towering there. It was followed by a smaller unformed figure, seeming like a thick post about 5 foot tall comparing to human scale.
I expected it would have been Raphael but I wasn’t sure who or what this form was. I’ve never seen anything like it. What is that? The creature appeared as a vertical linear post-like shape; like looking at a dark vertical mirage oscillating while disclosing no clear fixed shape. This post-like structure moved from the doorway to face me from the other side of my table.
Looking back at the large angel, its pure whiteness contrasted the room and the other figure. I sat there exhaust wondering why they were here. Then the unidentifiable figure said to me, “We will come to assist you – when the time arrives”. I thanked them. After a brief moment this figure turn and floated out; the large angel again stooping down to walk out my doorway following the other figure.
Still exhaust, more important then the brief cryptic visitation, was how I was going to muster the energy to get back. I worked at this for awhile and could not see how I could shift my way back but then I remembered early lessons from the Gateway course. In those we learned to encoded a wiggle in the fingers of our right hand to invoke a shift to C1 from F12. Thinking that might work, I attempted to wiggled my right hand’s figures but nothing happened; still in F27. I tried a few more times with more determination and suddenly I found myself vaguely beginning to appear back in my form as C1 consolidated around me – but I was not tired back here(?). Is this what the Gatekeeper was referring to11?
- Starting Tuesday AM 3rd session: Starlines 1 (Repeat) Oct 19-Oct 25, 2019) ↩
- see March 31st 2018 notes in: The Illuminating Light (Mar 2018-April 2018)). ↩
- Refer to Wednesday AM (only session) in Starlines 1 (Repeat) Oct 19-Oct 25, 2019 ↩
- Into the Light (Aug 2018 to …). ↩
- See Tuesday 2nd Session: The Dead: Lifelines @ TMI (Mar 2015). ↩
- Refer to Sidereal Time and Psychic Ability ↩
- See Tuesday Afternoon: First Intro to the Planning Aspect of Focus 27 in Expl27 and also 7/18/18 notes in The 2nd Signal Ship (May-June-July 2018) ↩
- Refer to What is it one must do? (Dec 30th, 2017) notes in: Post Starlines II (Nov 2017-Dec 2017) ↩
- see September 16, 2019 entry in The Long Slog (Feb 2019 – Sept 2019) ↩
- see Starlines 2: Wed Late Afternoon notes in the Tales of Master Tellaidian ↩
- refer Tuesday Evening F42 Free Flow Session notes in Starlines 1 (Repeat) Oct 19-Oct 25, 2019 ↩