Weight it in the Balance: Feb 11th 2019
7:00 PM (4:24 LST) Excellent to Optimum Earth Shielding. Solar wind: 5 protons/cm2. Flares: A0
Gone for 75 minutes in manual (non-hemisync) meditation
This was an off-the-cuff meditation. For awhile now I’ve had no idea what I could possibly say to ‘Those I Know’ so I haven’t tried any meditations. I have had some interesting sensitivity with my stones in recent weeks and as psychic conditions should be good I thought I’d try a meditation and see where that may lead.
I pressed thru my mnemonics1 slowly and methodically taking time in each focus level to take note of any perceptions but nothing was happening at all – looking to be a dud. As I pressed through each level I repeated my affirmation: that I am only open to those that are true, valid constructs, that which is free of deceit or guile. I don’t know that these affirmations actually insure anything but thought I’d implement them just in case.
It seemed it took a long time before I made it to F27. There I paused sorely regretting that I didn’t think I could go anywhere here that would yield answers to my questions. Could I go to the Library aspect or could the TBs (Tall Beings) help me with these questions? I don’t think so.
I decided to go to my SP27 and there too I found nothing happened at all. It was mostly all blank, but then as I stood facing out my window a large shadow passed by and I wondered… a dragon? I doubted that as vague as things were, but then I was aware of enough activity outside that I decided to go back outside to see whether I could ‘see’ anything.
There was a sense of motion, very large motions, and then one dragon appeared to hover and perch before me while another appeared to be anchoring itself, clawing its grip into the mountain buttress that is the face to my SP27 home. There was at least one more hovering. I did not address them as I couldn’t decide whether I believed anything was actually there – the images were just so subtle. How do I trust this anymore?
I spent several moments working to convince myself whether this was baloney and since there was no communication I decided to continue on beyond the ELS (Earth Life System). Then just as I was about to leave the three dragons gathered and came to perch directly in front of me as I stood on my portico looking at them; they just look at me and made a distinct impression – as dragons often tend to. I paused and wondered at this, but again since there was no communication and the images were vague I left reluctant to engage anything I was uncertain about.
I used the sling-shot maneuver to proceed on and when I got to where I typically utilize my F42 mnemonic on my door at AS2 suddenly my mnemonic appeared with brilliant clarity before me. This was startling as usually I have a hard time accessing my mnemonics as it’s hard for me to at will produce them visibly in my mind’s eye. I generally can only glimpse them for fractions of a second, loose them, then keep trying to reacquire them; repeating this process til they’re clear enough for me to latched in to the respective level being invoked. This typically requires considerable concentration at the shifts, but now this mnemonic was instantly clear, vivid, bright, solid, freely available to me. As I looked at it I was surprised to see that I could see through and beyond the mnemonic into … the City of Light … as I call it.
The City of Light is the F42 harmonic of the Elohim City first encountered in F21 back when Raphael began to take me there3. Of course the City spans more than that. F42/F49 is where I first saw the Twelve Pillars: The Complete Purpose and Intensions of The Ancients (Starlines II: Wed Late Afternoon notes).
I’ve only been there a couple or few times; never quite able to get back to it. As I considered that this actually was the City of Light something with great clarity said to me, “This is where you wish to be. Is it not”? I realized that … that was indeed true. It is something deep in me, something I’ve been thinking about for over a week, actually always – how to get back.
I proceeded to pass through my mnemonic and as AS disappeared behind me I enter the City and found everything was brilliant. I wandered in on what seemed to be a vague path and considered I was deeper in the City; at least I’ve never been here before so to speak.
As I recognized all this I vividly saw a park bench as if it was burned into my mind. The bench was reminiscent of the chapter I call “Oneness”4 in my earlier collected notes about the Ancients, but this was not the same place and not the same bench. That made sense because at that earlier time I accessed the Elohim City through F21. As I stood looking at the bench considering the situation for a few moments, that everything was so brilliantly clear and apparent, I wondered that there was no one there to meet me and so I sat down to wait.
As I sat I noticed before me a small rise or something elevated and then I saw hovering before and slightly above me many, actually numerous elongated lights, like elongated streaks or slivers of light mixed together in all orientations, scintillating and alive. I really couldn’t tell exactly what that was; like looking at a glare of light streaks all mixed together and circulating in a cloud is how I would describe it.
At the time I didn’t know what to do or what to think of this; it was so different from previous experiences but in the sense that it was so vivid, this strongly contrasting with all my dud meditations, there was no doubt about it. Then I heard something from among the lights say to me, “Speak”. The rest is very hard to describe or explain because it was just so ineffable but I can say the conversation was structured like this:
“How am I to understand, to know which parts are true – of all these experiences? Why did you do this [create such confusion]. Should I suspect this whole City is false, that my own sister and mother – that they are false? Which parts are actually true? Though I know parts of all this are true, of all the other parts – which are true? This is unthinkable. Why do this?” I stated.
To this all they would say, but they said it quite clearly was, “To teach you patience”. I strained to discern, to identify what this was? Wondering who or what I was communicating with. They instantly replied, “You – know Us”, but now I could not ‘comprehend’ them as if this was another presentation of Those I Know. At this time I both did but also did not recognize them, this new presentation in whatever level this is. As I tried to sense them more fully, to make sense of it I suddenly recognized, “I feel… contact…[now]”. To which they retorted as if correcting me or clarifying, “We have never been out of contact (which I recognized was true)”.
After a time of pondering Them I asked, “How do I understand this (all the above mentioned)”? They immediately replied, “Weigh it, in the Balance”. I wondered what that meant. How do I do that I reflected [these matters]. They instantly replied to my thoughts, “It is a mystery …. NOT for man [to have], but you … are not of man”. I waited for more explanation but again there was nothing added.
I was confused that there was no explanation. Why tell me about some ‘mystery’ and not tell me what that is? What are they talking about I wondered so I added, “Then would you not reveal it?”, but they offered no reply. I pressed, “[Now You] Speak”, and when I again got no reply I thought for a moment and then stated bluntly, “Is it because you cannot or because you will not [reveal it now]?” Immediately They retorted forcefully, “[NO] We MUST not – for that – is predestined for its time”.
Then I became exhausted. It seemed it would take forever to extract any answers out of Them – whatever ‘They’ are. I began to phase in and out of C1 and F42/F49 as the fatigue became irresistible and just before I fell out of F42/F49 they clearly called out to me saying, “Weigh it – in the Balance.” and I was suddenly back in C1.
Back in C1 thinking about all this I wonder what in the world was that? Really! What is going on? But part of me does know and I do know Them in a manner but then I consider how incredible it all is. How can this be? Yet, finally I have gotten back and ‘They’ did tell me more which is a big step forward – and the contact was a clearly strong connection beyond doubt. I am less confused as if the understanding is actually simple? I think maybe I am finally recognizing that I have to realize this is going to take a long time – this whole lifetime, then millennia and more. Guess I’m gonna have to learn to mellow-out and wait for the ‘Time” to arrive – someday. The answers will come when they come but this is never easy.