May & June 2020 (Cibola Forest)
Many meditations, but they led nowhere or the encounters were so faint I can’t accept them.
However, at the end of June in the evenings I wondered … am I’m seeing futures? Something has changed these last few days. I’m able to allow myself to trust at least the First Ones and some others. I am more relaxed and my attitude is better but why direct me to return and then make that so difficult?
July 16th, 2020 (Slumgullion Pass)
It’s a cold rainy day up here. As I looked out my back window I thought this would be a perfect moment to see a large deer or elk. It was as if I saw it happening, but of course there was nothing there. Then, no more than 5 seconds later, I saw a large deer walk by, just the way I imagined it. Is this seeing futures? It happened as easy as that.
This evening I did a hemi-sync meditation and though I had no contact one thing was clearly enunciated to me, “Have faith”. This thought appeared as strong as if someone spoke to me and that perceived thought had the property of being a point of light. I both saw and heard it. It also contained a compressed notion that I just glimpsed; definitely not one my own thoughts.
But I ask, have faith in what? Have faith that more trouble, injury, pain, and mystery will be tossed my way as has been the case my whole life for the sake of some greater purpose? Have faith in exactly whom and to do exactly what?
Yes there have been many incredible things in these experiences that can’t be dismissed, some too impossible to believe; one that was false. I’m told to weight it in the balance. What progress has there been in determining that? So again I ask, have faith in what, and to be what?
7/22/2020 (Rio Grande Headwaters)
This morning as I finished calling the Spirits suddenly I realized the Presence of the Light1 was with me although I was in C1. She said to me, “I am with you – now”.
At that instant, from it’s nest over 300 yards away, an Osprey took flight and flew toward me. I watched as this bird flew directly to me. When it arrived it flew around me three times, not 20 feet above me, making tight circles, close to me. Then it flew straight back to its nest.
I’m reminded I can count on the Presence of the Light.
Outside I heard, “Come be with Us”, and I thought I’m not going into mediation to only find nothing results from this whimsical cliche of a thought, so I sat outside hashing over this question of trust. How do I balance these conflicting thoughts, this perplexity, without knowing the truth of them? Weight it in the balance? It’s has also been said”, There is no balance without truth”. So what do I make of all this?
[Trust – that We will guide you through].
This morning I called the Spirits. I submitted a request to them; that the smoke of the sage be empowered to carry questions, answers, and blessing for all those that use the smoke; that attention be given to the Native American reservations.
I looked up and again I saw the osprey leave its nest in the distance. It flew straight toward me. How can this be I wondered? When it arrived, again it flew overhead circling closely around me three times. Then it returned directly to its nest. What does three represent?
I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. I’m beginning to see things differently. I’m more able to stop struggling with this. There is however, one obstacle and hinderence after another. I recognize this is about patience.
Aug 24th, 2020
This afternoon I wasn’t doing anything in particular when suddenly – something siezed my mind’s eye – and I saw Anosh2 standing in a dell on her planet I believe. I clearly saw her, standing there, looking at me. There was a soft light giving the impression it was evening or morning. Would that be moonlight on her planet? She was looking at me, calling me. It was so clear, so real … and then the vision was gone.
September 13th 2020.
I’ve been practicing a lot with hemi-sync in recent weeks and I’ve also been very sick We’re going back to this? Meditations had been going nowhere but today in F21 I suddenly felt, realized, or saw that Tellaidian3 was aware of me. Was I sensing him? This was most unusual? Was that actually Tellaidian? This encouraged me to continue hemi-sync retraining.
Also recently while in F23 for a few moments I was able to see. Uncertain how much to believe but I don’t think these were memory loads.
At my suite today in F42 I wondered what the memory room would yield. I hadn’t even opened that room’s door when those from the central galaxy and globular cluster region, those who created AS, were present. It was – amazing. Is it possible they are what I think?
Sept 14th, 2020.
F42 hemi-sync: I thought I’d try going to my F42 meumonic at the White Wall to access the City. I spent considerable time focusing on that mnemonic and gave up as I was having no success. I stood just outside the Wall considering what to do next.
Suddenly I was aware of Hera, my mother, and the Presence of the Light entity. They stood together on the outer portico of the Hall. I wondered what was really happening.
Hera called me to come visit Them but I explain I can’t get there. She encouraged me to try rather then have Them bring me over. Making the effort, I was surprise to find I was consolidating with Them.
I found myself standing with Them. Hera was on my one o’clock, my mother to the right, the Presence central, and the Oracles of the Light on my left. We greeted each other and exchanged casual conversation.
Then the Presence turned to lead me up the staircase to her porch. I followed and quickly found I was with the Spirit of the Light. The Presence became a background aspect as my conversation was with the Spirit directly; as if the need for interface with the Presence was no longer material.
There was basic discussion about my usual questions but the thrust of the conversation concluded with – the Time has not yet come. I returned my attention to the Presence and asked why they were using human forms in Their presentation? What is Their actual form I asked (tho I know)?
She explained the forms are symbolic. Clearly They are not human; utterly and profoundly something else. This was a clear strong feeling. I did not get an answer as to exactly what They are.
I wondered and asked whether having a sister and a mother was some contrived presentation and the Presence explained that those relationships are authentic in the energy domain (beyond my comprehension); that I am spawn from this mother (entity) and Hera is a sibling in this process.
After that there was a deep contact with Them (as a whole) and an strongly impressed assurance that was much stronger then I’ve sense before. It was so abundant, so clear – an unmistakable intelligent personal contact.
When I felt it was time to return as I turned looking out over the City a bright light appeared to my right on the portico. I recognized it was a return portal. I walked into that light, spending some time in it, and then found myself back in F21; the forest area just outside the Green Wall. I quickly noticed the moonlight-like portal hovering which I’ve encountered many times. I entered that and found myself back in C1.
A very strong experience.
I was uncertain where I wanted to go, and – will I actually get there? I decided to go to AS and as I consolidated at my suit’s door I was immediately aware of a vague image of Anosh standing to my left a short distance down the hall, something like 10 or 12 feet if one may use the sense of distance.
I was skeptical of course that it was her. The signal strength was low, but then this moment touched me. It was something about the way Anosh stood there, the expression on her face, and for a instant the image of her was clear with a glimmer of realism. It was her.
She stepped forward and taking my arm she lead me down the hall. I was thinking we’d go to the front observation lounge but it seemed her mind was made up.
Anosh tugged at me leading me around the hall’s corner and up the gantry into their ship. She lead me to their upper level lounge where I’ve been before with her. This small lounge is like a family room and is above the piloting area that’s on the main level below us. When we got there we sat together.
Through the vagueness I became aware of her feelings and so I spoke to her (personal conversation). I was frustrated by the lack of signal strength during this extended time but then again there was a instant when her face was vividly clear, another dose of realism. Looking at her in vivid reality, I recognized that unique expression that is only hers. We were together a long time.
When I was leaving I met Atur briefly on their upper level walk.
Did the Wise One, true to His word, give me clarity?
10/5/2020 F34 Hemi-sync
I force myself to the Hall and stood idly on its portico as I focused on my state and my attitude; noting the absence of any meaningful questions for this place at this time. Then I was able to see the staircase to the residence of the Presence of the Life, where She resides with the Spirit of the Light.
As I look up the stairs I saw the Presence of Light standing on Her porch looking at me. I saw clearly fine textured patterns chiseled into the steps and the upper porch; the finest stonework craftsmanship; a clear vision of it now.
The figure’s gown was iridescent as if silk reflecting light as it moves slightly in some breeze or the gown flowed with Her as She turned to look at me. But I was conflicted about this figure. I expected to see the Presence. This figure did not seem like Her. The figure faced me with an attraction. Was this one of the Oracles?
She invited me to be with Her and there is yet more detail and realism. The additional detail in the appearance of this figure was stunning, yet She is not the same as other times. I never expected to see Her like this; to be drawn like this. Who is this figure that appears more real. What is this meeting? Why is she appearing desirable? What should I think or feel about this?
Then I saw the light glow of the sky; the Spirit of Light beyond the limits of her porch and I focus on that. But what is there? I detected no meaning, no message. It was beyond me.
The overall vision grabs my eye at moments but I would not let myself accept it. Something seems wrong. The vision, even tho it was so clear perplexes me. I hold myself back from this figure as I’m not sure what the meaning is of this encounter. So clear.
Morning (Utah desert): Calling the Spirits. A small sparrow lands at my feet, just a couple inches away; such an innocent delicate creature.
Morning (Utah desert). Calling the Spirits: the Sky Spirits; the Star Spirits. The sparrow returns and fluttering over me touches down landing lightly on my head then flew off to take a new position resting on my right shoe.
Morning (Cibola Nat. Forest). Calling the Spirits: When addressing the Star Spirits a crow arrives flying from south to north across from me. I try to call the crow spirit but thought that’s dumb. Then the crow turned its flight, a 90 deg turn, and flies directly east to me; about 150 feet. When it is directly overhead it turns about 90 degrees and resumes its flight to the north.
An interesting chapter of the Tao Teh Ching translated by John C.H. Wu I’ve never seen before:
The Spirit of the Fountain dies not.
It is called the Mysterious Feminine.
The Doorway of the Mysterious Feminine.
It is called the Root of Heaven-and-Earth.
Lingering like gossamer, it has only a hint of existence;
And yet when you draw upon it, it is inexhaustible.