The Memory Room at Alpha Squared

The Memory Room at Alpha Squared
12/25/16

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I decided to go to Alpha Squared ¹ to see if I could learn anything about this nagging doubt that seems to up-end everything for me; explaining this at my affirmation. Isn’t there something that can be said to help me resolved this?

On the way I noted Focus 21 was different in some manner. When I got to 27 I found myself at the old landing area. Again I detected the large angel but nothing was done to deter me as in the earlier encounter with this creature when he took hold of me and would not let me proceed. I couldn’t decide whether I was loading a memory or whether this being was actually there.

I went to my SP27 and Raphael’s corner where he often appears was darker; I could detect nothing. When I uncover my labradorite crystal sphere which I charge, its light shown ². I began to energize it more and then went to EC27. There I found Ethereal ³ standing close by me as I consolidated. I greeted her and she said to me, “You suffer”. Then she touched my forehead and drew close to me. After this brief exchange she turned and was gone.

I continued the jump getting to F34 and found only blackness. I made my general inquiry but somehow I just knew to go directly to Alpha Squared. Once I got there, at the door to my suite, rather than going in I paused to look back down at the main lobby area. I wondered to myself and had to ask out-loud, “Can anyone tell me whether this station is real or imaginary”?

Then immediately in front of me appeared, perhaps a device – a large oval metalic-like box that hovered over the lobby before me level with my floor. It answered, “It is imaginary”. I continued, “And the beings here, are they imaginary”? “They are real”, was replied. I wondered at this, but then whatever it was that was speaking to me add, “Your communication [switchboard] devices, there are no voices passing through these are there? Are they not bits of electronic signals? Yet voices are heard by those using the devices”. Then discussion ended as quickly as it started. I thanked it, whatever it was, for being kind enough to answer to which the device retorted, “It is not a matter of kindness. It is a matter of fact”, and it zipped away.

I turned around and was about to enter my room when suddenly I found Atur and Anosh standing next to me in the hallway as if waiting for me. I thought to disregard these images as memory loads but Anosh stepped forward close to me touching my arm saying. “We are concerned. We detect your anguish”. I tried to examine their faces closely to see whether I could determine whether it was truly them. It’s been so long time since I’ve had clear glimpses of their faces, but I could see in Anosh’s face her authentic concern so I said to her, “Can you help me resolve this doubt; this never ending question about these experiences?” She then released my arm and withdrew one step from me saying, “We cannot. It is not our domain [place to interfere]”. After this I thanked them, turned, and entered my suite.

Inside I saw Tellaidian (Tales of Master Tellaidian) and wondered at the faint image whether he was some static image, or actually there? I’m beginning to think that these images may be like a pix next to an iPhone contact phone number. I considered that residue images could indicate a possible connection that is left available – maybe …. I guess. Who knows?

Deciding he was a static image I picked up the key to the memory room ⁴ that I leave on the sill near the large window and went to open the memory room door. Suddenly something said to me, “Do not go in there” and as I opened the door I saw it was open space; open void. I closed the door wondering what this was about. Then after waiting a few moment I tried it again and the memory room appeared as normal and I entered the apparatus.

In the room I requested information that would help me understand why I have such deep doubts, an indecision I can’t resolve about the truth of this. Once in the chair, nothing seemed to happen, but suddenly I found myself in the kitchen where I grew up as a kid; maybe 5 years old or so – very clear – like being there. Then I remembered the confusion; he fear of what would happen next. Then suddenly I found myself in my bedroom hiding; I saw the fear and confusion… and then I said, “STOP. I’ve seen enough”, and the session ended. So that’s it? Well what am I suppose to do with this now I thought?

Then suddenly four individuals appeared standing before me. Hard to be sure how many there were with certainty as these four made the biggest impression. They were tall, taller than me by more than a foot. They were just vague white shapes. “Follow us”, they said to me as they turned and walked away. I follow these tall ghostly figures into the blackness. As I walked behind them I tried to count them, studying them as I noticed their slow gate and then they stopped, turned around and faced me.

I also stopped facing them and asked, “Why am I now meeting a facilitator here? Who sent it”? “It is standard operation here to facilitated introductions”, they replied frankly. Then I asked, “Why are you here with me?” “You are one of our own”, they replied and I countered. “Who are you?”. They replied, “You know us as [what you call] Shepherds”. “Why am I going through all this doubt? I can’t decide what is happening?”, I asked. “You are alone [among human kind]; even among your own [our kind]- you are alone. This is not intended for your kind [Us]”, they stated.

“I do not understand how I can solve this problem of doubt”, I complained and they retorted, “It has not been said that it is your problem to solve”. I was startled and surprised by that answer, but I understood. After a moment, they vanished.

In a short while, I felt it was time to return. I don’t know what to do with these experiences. I returned to stay at my SP27 for a bit.