Acceptance (Jan 2018)

Acceptance (January 2nd 2018)

This evening while doing my evening meditation I again became aware of Tellaidian. Given the energy I was enjoying during this time I thought I should go see if there was actually merit to this sudden notion. Could it just be a front load, a memory recalled of the earlier event? Here however, I did suspected there may actually be something to this – I could feel it.

During this manual meditation (without hemi-sync) I was gone nearly an hour. In this meditation when I got to focus 21, as I reached to my F21 mnemonic to consolidate in F21 I found that it was replaced with a black lance stuck in the ground. The lance was wrapped in black leather and it had many dark feathers tied to it. The feathers moved as if in a wind. I touched them and wondered where the ancestral spirits were. After a moment I decided it was time to proceed but then someone said to me, “Take the lance”, so I took hold of it and left with it.

Arriving at my SP27 portico, I decided to climbed up onto the flat area hewed into the arete. There I took the lance and holding it up high I called to the Six Cardinal Spirits on behalf of the Native Americans and their Ancestors saying. “It has been enough! These people have been robbed, murdered, and oppressed in every way. It is enough! Now come! Come breathe new life into these peoples and their spirits!” Then I jammed the lance into the rock so that it would be my witness. From there I climbed down to my ledge portico.

As I entered my SP I found myself to be as a ghost floating up about the ceiling and wondered why this was happening, but I worked to consolidate myself at my window and there after uncovering my labradorite sphere I accessed the energy conduit. Energy appeared to instantly blaze into me and the sphere. The stone and I radiated with bright energy. I bounced to Earth 27, the place Ethereal showed me, and spent a moment with Earth. On the bounce back to my SP I instantly found myself back in the blazing light. Once more I returned to Earth 27 for the sling-shot feeling its calm and after a moment I proceeded to F34/35.

I did not go to Voyager 8 but I did energized its group energy crystal for others that may be planning to use to. Then I materialized at my 42 mnemonic on my suite’s door at AS (Alpha Squared). I spent some time working with my mnemonic trying to clarify its form, tune it for future use, and then I found Atur standing very close to me leaning forward and looking carefully at what I was doing. I was surprised to have him standing so close, really just inches away as he studied the adjustments I was making to my mnemonic.

I turned to him and placing my hand over my heart I said, “I only want truthful contacts with you Atur”. I was somewhat uncertain how convinced I was that he was actually there. Then I decided to go see Tellaidian and as I turned away from my suite’s door to head down the hallway to Tellaidian’s conference room Atur interrupted saying, “You should go into your suite”. Given the surprising interruption I obeyed and turned to enter my suite there I found both Tellaidian and Sa-Tash together waiting for me.

I approached them and was surprised that both of them would be there as I greeted them. I wondered why both of them would be there and then Tellaidian said to me, as he directed my attention to the memory room door, “Go. Ask your question”, and again surprised by this I did as he directed without question.

Entering the memory room, I found the unit appeared ready, the seat faced out looking to the stars with operators ready. I got in the chair and then said, “I need to know the truth of these experiences; are these valid constructs or is it all my imagination”? I sat waiting but nothing happened. I was puzzled and disappointed by this. Things seemed to be leading me here so why isn’t this working, and then I saw something. I saw the pyramids as I have seen them before 1. I was aware of others structures and recognized this scene as a place I’ve been to before. I also saw the alignment of the structures as before when I was transported through the indicated trajectory to the beyond. Now I was able to review the scene clearly recognizing it and then suddenly… I was gone.

I found myself in black void, an empty silence, but then after a moment I saw the Twelve Pillars of Light as I saw them during Starlines 2 – The Complete Purposes and Intentions of the Ancients (F42). I stood facing them surprised to see this place again. Then something from among them said to me, “Speak”, and so I answered, “I need to know what the truth of these experiences is? The Ancients promised I would know and after these recent months, what do I truly know? Are those true statements from a valid construct or is all this simply my imagination?”

Then after a pause they replied, “The answer is both yes and no. Yes, these constructs come to you through something very much like your imagination. But NO, this is not a fabrication of your own imagination”. After a moment I responded, “I can’t live with such uncertainty – this constant unceasing uncertainty”. Then they said, “We understand”. I added in acknowledgement, “I understand that what I feel is incompleteness, but…”, and they interrupted me saying to me. [So you understand] this is our purpose. You understand [we are] [cause] of the uncertainty [done this] that you are given”.

Startled I asked, “Then, this is not my fault; not a flaw”? They elucidated, “From such total uncertainty comes great [clarity] decisiveness [this [duality] you understand]. Decisive purpose [it] will emerge from this in its time. This is why [it is as it is]”. And I then had a deep peace. I could accept what they said.

After a pause they added, “Be at peace. You may have this. Be unconcerned with the darkness [you are aware of] here. We control the balance in this. You have no need to question their [dark] intent. We control [as you know] them”. And again I felt at peace, responding to them saying. “I am not able [in myself form] to be this”, but they assured me saying, “Be unconcerned with this. Live your life without care. Enjoy this peace. All will care for itself [in its time]. The purposes are ours. We will bring it forth”.

Then suddenly I found myself looking across the galaxy, looking out into open space beyond it; seeing other galaxies I gazed at them. Then they promised, “You will have complete fullness, totality of being”. At this time the sight did not disturb me (as during Starlines 2) as I was able to accept what they said.

Then I turned back to them saying, “Have you seen the grief on Earth”? “[Not of their interests] You are [our] witness [witnessing for us]” they explained (as I understood the extension of their being). So I stated to them, “I have seen enough”. I continued, “The greedy. The murderous. Those that oppress those hopelessly struggling to achieve some semblance of harmony. The planet itself is being poisoned. It is time to bring that to its end; to gather the criminals”.

Then there was a pause and after a moment I thought to thank them and began to turn away, but they stopped me, “You need not leave. Stay. Stay here with us”. And so I turned back to them, to be with them, as we continued to speak to each other candidly. After a long time I found I was able to accept them, the uncertainties, and I eventually left.

When I turned away I suddenly found myself back in the memory chair. Then reentering my suite I approached Tellaidian and Sa-Tash. I first turned to Sa-Tash and taking his hand I said, “Sa-Tash, I hope to be all you need of me”, and then I turned to Tellaidian saying, “Master, I will go as you have directed. You have guided me well – far beyond. Please continue guiding me as your wisdom dictates”.

With that said, and slightly worn-out, I left the suite. In the hallway I found Atur and also Anosh (Pleiadians) who was standing back a bit looking shy, and I decided it must be discussed. There we had an extensive private conversation among ourselves (between Anosh and myself).

I wasn’t sure how to leave these companions I’ve come to know. They are my friends, the few allies that understand, but knowing I had to go back I turned away and headed down the hallway. I took the elevator to the main hall, and left.

January 7th, 2018

Today I had a very interesting discovery. I found continuity in two places in my notes that I had no awareness of previously. It made a big impression on me and has really lifted me. I think I’m beginning to know… It is them.

Jan 10

Writing notes from last night: I was gone about 90 minutes – a long detailed visit to AS (Alpha Squared). I didn’t actually feel like doing a meditation and I recognized I had no purpose or questions yet there was a sense that I should go, but where was it I should go? I wondered about socializing. Is that it?

As I was staging in F10/12 I remembered Tellaidian told me to exert myself more, so I gathered the energy about me and put it forward. Then I saw the face of Tellaidian appear, as if he was just looking at me. I called to him if he wanted a visiter and then he said, “Yes. Come. You come”, in his oddly jovial manner. I’m not gonna write all the details. Here are the highlights that I will mention:

When I got to my 21 mnemonic I found it was back to normal and as I touched it a strong aged hand came to rest on my forearm as I held my mnemonic. I could seen nothing else but I recognized the hand of the Sachem and so I rested my hand on his. After a moment, I left.

Arriving at my SP27 I wasn’t sure that Raphael was there, but as I was energizing to leave to F34 he abruptly stopped me asking, “What are you intentions”? In reply I explained, “I wish to visit Tellaidian at the AS. I am open to guidance or special tasks requested of me”. Then after a long pause as he looked at me I added, “I intend to follow you as my guide when the Recovery begins”. To this he replied,  “That is what I wanted to hear”, and I left.

I then phased to Earth the start of my sling-shot but now I went to Earth 34 and found Ethereal. She was vague, but I believed she was there and so I expanded my energy into the Earth and her, “Let all these be nurtured according to their need; let it be restored and let there be no lack”, I pronounced. And after that moment with her and the Earth I left going directly to AS42. Earth was where I deposited my energy, I did not visit V8.

At AS I went directly to Tellaidian’s area. I saw him in the lounge laying down, err – sitting down at the near end of the conference room close to the room’s entrance. I went over to him and sat down on the bench next to him. We spoke of many things. Some things I remember:

As I was examining the vagueness of shapes (individuals) in the room I wonder what I was observing since my perceptions were vague. I asked Tellaidian if he could help me know whether I was perceiving his visitors or not. He explained, “You see those who have associated thoughts of this place. They are not fully here rather this is a residue of their present-mindedness that considers this place in some way.”

Then I remember asking him if he was old to which he explained, “I am not old as you consider. I am old in years [yes], but the prime of our species is much longer in life then that of your species. At this time I am in my prime, and will be so for a long time. But when its time to leave (die), I wish to go be with the Ones you meet. This is part of our culture’s teaching; those advanced and aged speak of this. Yet… that is somehow natural to you. Then after a long pause he looked at me thoughtfully and said, “I know that you spoke for me with the Ones”, as if to thank me. I responded, “It was a small thing Tellaidian. Give it no thought”.

Then he stood up, in a most clumsy manner, and as I watched the motions under his long robe it reminded me of something like a horse struggle to standup and we began to walk slowly along the window. I then turned to Tellaidian and said, “ I would like to perceive better. I don’t know that I am see anything” And Tellaidian asked me, “What do you see?” and I began looking around saying, “I can see toward one end of the room; the residual image of other guests.” Looking the other way I said, “I can see this end of the lounge and the entrance. I see you, but I can’t see out the window”. Then Tellaidian answered, “It looks like you are perceiving well enough”.

Then I asked, “ ‘Where’ ” is this thought-structure? Was it created in… a somewhere”? “In a manner it is somewhere. It is where the inhabitants that initiated the structure agreed”, he commented. I wondered at that. “Are there similar structures in other places, other galaxies”? I asked. “Yes”, he replied. “Do you go there?”, I asked. “Not generally. This is my place”, he answered. Then I thought to ask, “What is the use of the Stargate? What does it do?” To this he only said, “It gives one access to the mind of the physical Universe”.

As we continued our slow stroll along the lounge windows I abruptly saw the image of a dark face outlined in a quick but disappearing movement of dark purple and immediately I recognized the Nadir. Unalarmed, but curious I asked Tellaidian, “Master, the Nadir…”. “Yes. You detected him”, Tellaidian replied. I continued, “What is the opposition of this individual or culture? “Why does him menace this way?” “They do not threaten danger”, he explained. Rephrasing my question I asked, “What is the reason of their opposition”? To which Tellaidian said,“The Nadir 2 believe that long range telepathic traffic pollutes the pure background state of consciousness”. This I found to be a very interesting thought and wondered about it.

Then I was surprise to see Sa-Tash materializing as he walked up to us. I wondered at this personification and greeted him. “Sa-Tash”, I asked, “Do you know Tellaidian”, intending to introduce him to which he answered, “All those that come here know of Tellaidian”. I wondered why he was there to which he explained, “I am here to visit”. After some moments together, I asked Sa-Tash how he identifies projects; whether there was some level of guidance that directs him. It seemed that Sa-Tash was unclear how to explain this to me. After a moment he explained something to the effect that I don’t have the needed concepts to recognize the form of this explanation.

As I was considering what Sa-Tash had explained, clearly and abruptly Atur walked up to me on my left. I greeted him asking if he knew Tellaidian to which Atur replied, “I only know him indirectly”, but then Atur leaned over to me saying” “May we speak in private?” I turned looking at him considering this and seeing only Atur I wondered where Anosh was. I then turned to Sa-Tash and Tellaidian excusing myself and walk over to Atur, where he was now standing a short distance away next to the window. When I approached him, he leaned close to me saying emphatically, “You must speak to Anosh”. I wondered at this asking, “Why”? Continuing with a concerned look on his face he appealed to me, “Her feelings are deep. They vex her – within her…. If you would speak with her”.

Looking to the lounge entrance I saw Anosh standing there quietly and then she walked up to me slowly. When she was close I could feel the disturbance and looked at her face. “I then took her hand and holding it to my chest I said, “Anosh, I must feel what you feel. I need to know my perceptions are correct. I do not wish to misunderstand you”. Then I extended my senses to detect her, near enveloping her being saying, “If I am correct, this pain is in your heart – I did not know your kind could carry this”, and I energized myself extending light into, and all about her being as I said, “Be whole Anosh… be free of this pain”. And we stood face to face, as I held her in this focused energy.

As I held her hands, I turned to Atur, “I need to understand these things. I do not know your culture. You are more advance then I. Why come to me?” To which Atur countered, “We are more advanced then you only in practice, not in substance”. Then I let go of Anosh’s hands, in a manner of speaking and they turned away slowly. As they walked away to the entrance I called out to them, “I look forward to us meeting. You’re coming this year… right?”. And they gave me me the strangest look that made me wonder with some concern. What does that mean I thought.

Then I turned back to Tellaidan and we continued our slow walk along the window. After a time it was clear he was going to walk out to the aisle area so I walked with him. Then down the hall through the large windows of the station I saw a large ship pulling away slowly as though it was docked. I wondered if that was the Pleiadians, but I didn’t know. We got to the observation area where Tellaidian stopped saying, “I will leave you to your thoughts and we said good bye as he turned around to walk back to his room.

Then I turned back to look out the large window. As I looked out into space I decided to push the issue so I called out to the space, “The Elohim has said I may be with them. The Ancients has said, I may be with them. The Wise One has said, I may be with him. Where are you now? Here I am. I ask you, are all these just empty words or are you here”.

“We are here”, was enunciated to me. Then I said, “I can hardly perceive you. It is not as in the past. I don’t know where this thought comes from. I do not feel you”. Then I saw, as when my encounter happened during Starlines 1, the pinnacle tier; as if a place of immortals, a place like Mount Olympus. I saw the One in the center as before and as before I could not detect its form. I also saw my sister standing to its left as before. I spoke out, “I see Hera my sister. Where is the one that is Elohim that says she is my true mother?” I asked. In response, “She is with her kind”, Your sister who is of this nature is here, as you are. I understood and remained with them a long time, and wondered.

Jan 11th,

Datil – Long encounter with an interesting Earth (Wind) Spirit.

January 12th, 2018

I thought to do a practice meditation (w/o hemi-sync); to just work on the blank slate. I went to 12 without any affirmation. Then Anosh punctuated my mind. I pushed the thought aside, but again she strongly preoccupied my whole mind. Repeatedly pushing it out I thought to myself that I really have no control over these memory loads. I just can’t clear my mind of her.

Then again she intruded and given my inability to keep a clear mind I allowed my mind to look at the input. Then, alone, she walked up to me boldly demanding, “You MUST SPEAK to me!” and I was surprised at the strength of the thought. I then accepted that this was Anosh and she stood directly in front of me, close to me, appearing deeply conflicted. I took her hands and holding them I spoke to her; we had a long private conversation. (What is happening I wondered?)

After a time Atur appeared and he approached us. In lighter conversation I again explained I needed to know more about their culture. After some more light conversation I crafted a special gift for Anosh and I imparted it to her. Then I also formed a gift of benediction for Atur and offered that for him. After this Anosh and I let go of each other’s hands and before she turned to join Atur she kissed me on the cheek. She appeared happy. As Atur looked at, what I now understand is his sister’s face, he too appeared to be very happy to see his sister’s joy. Then Atur looking pleased to see Anosh’s well-being turned and looked at me.

I said to him, “It will be a joy when we actually meet”, to which Atur replied, “It will indeed be a great day of joy”. With that they both turned and departed. I found that I was glad to see Anosh this way. I have never seen her like this. She has always been serious.

Then I was alone. My mind was clear and I thought I would continue to 21. Going there I considered I should I go to the Obelisk, so I went there wondering if Yurael would be there. At the Obelisk I didn’t have the heart to do much. About to turn away I then saw Yurael hovering above me. I said to her, “Is there something to guide how I use this place”? Yurael only said, “You may do as you choose”, but I countered “I do not have the wisdom for this, surely there is some directive that guides my actions here” But Yurael only looked at me. I then turned back to the Obelisk as I muttered at Yurael, “Fine. I will do one thing” and went about working on one target.

Then I decided to leave. I took one last look at Yurael hovering there and left. I proceeded to pass by the Wizard’s old dwelling but I paused wondering what would be inside. To be honest about it I have avoided doing this as I had some apprehension how an empty dwelling would effect me. I walked slowly to the entrance and looking inside I saw….. I saw myself sitting there alone. We looked at each other and I saw the stress in myself sitting there. We looked at each other and then the other me said, “Well, here we are…waiting for the future to finally arrive”. “Yes”, I replied, “We wait”. After some moments I turned away.

As I walked away to my 21 mnemonic planing to leave I saw Devenoir standing there waiting for me. I approached him wondering why he was there, but he only looked at me with the tranquil serenity that embodies him. He seemed to gesture and I noticed the portal to the Wise One was there too. Reluctantly I went to the portal as it seemed Devenoir was directing. I stepped under the light, and suddenly found myself on the portico of the Great Hall. I walked along the great pillars looking out over the City that seemed to shine brightly. I was disinclined to speak with the Wise One and saw an attendant waiting, but I also saw my sister standing on the stairs a few steps down from the portico.

I didn’t know what to do. What is it I am truly perceiving? In a desire for some association I decided to go be with my sister. I walked over to her and walking down a few steps I said, “Hello Hera”. But this figure then replied, “I am not your sister Bill, I am your mother”, and she took my hand. I tried to sense her. “We love you very much”, she said but I replied, “Love? This is love? You have vexed my whole life with misery, pain, loss, and obstacles.  The suffering on that world is …. it is so great; it is terrible. Is it really too much to ask of you [a validation]? Why did you do this to me?” I stated.

Then suddenly a large presence with little form emerged powerfully from the Great Hall saying, “I DID THIS… I did this to you to make you strong, to make you powerful, to give you wisdom; to give you fullness of being”. I considered this as I faced this powerful entity. There was no argument one may pursue (with them). There is nothing offered that gives resolution to these matters for me.

So then I slowly turned away with my mother and we walked down the steps together. We walked down slowly and as we came to the bottom of the stairs I saw the portal back. Only saying goodbye I stepped into the light and was back in my body, again as if I was never gone.

What am I to do with these experiences that offer no seal of truth? What is this matter with Anosh?

Tues Jan 23rd, 2018

Today I did a 75 minute manual meditation to critically observe. There was nothing notable. I was very careful regarding what I accepted as valid images, but there were none to speak of. I did see Anosh which I questioned and pushed her image out to ignored it.

Sunday Jan 28th, 2018

I was considering what Tellaidian said, that I have not tried. This week I am trying to spent the week acquiring energy and see what transpires. My intention in this meditation was again to critically observe what images present; to take a close look at everything, to reexamine what I believe I am truly encountering.

Something notable was that I went to my mnemonic at AS where I resolved to remain in the hallway to only observe, to determine what I am actually witnessing. After awhile I detected Tellaidian who said, “Come. You come”. So I went over to Tellaidian’s lounge area which was empty. After greeting him I sat down on his left and was determined to critically observe. After a time I explained my objective in being there, that I was trying to figure out what were the facts of this place. Tellaidian responded perhaps in humor, “There are no facts about this place”, and I understood he was reminding me that this is a thought-construct.

After a time Tellaidian placed his left hand on my right forearm as if to get my attention as he pointed out the window of his conference area. There I saw what looked like the oblique view of a circular galaxy with little or no dust lanes, but this bright disc had a funnel shape that didn’t make sense to me. After some moments of studying the image, wondering what it was that I was seeing, Tellaidian led us out toward this image. As we approached it, it became clear that although it had the sparkle of a galaxy it was funnel shaped, not disc shaped, and as we were about to enter it I saw that it was a size that allowed just the two of us to enter.

I could see this structure stretched on into the distance, very much like the Stargate, but this was much smaller; again being only big enough for the two of us at the entrance. Once inside I asked Tellaidian what this was to which he replied something to the effect that this was a concourse. Soon I saw a group of aliens that reminded me of the ones encountered during Starlines 1 and 2, while in the StarGate. Tellaidian said, “Those ones [species] are prevalent”. He was quite specific about this matter but he did not elaborate. He continued to explain that this (concourse) system provided access to our general locality in our galaxy.

There was a time when we slowly approached a red star. I had considerable time to studied this image carefully. I did not understand how the star could be so small. I was really perplexed by this. Is this true or am I making this up? I thought it should be either much bigger or it should be a brown dwarf; that it should not be red if it was actually real. Yet it was clearly red and fusing. Our approach took a long time and when closer I saw there was also a large gas giant planet. I was surprised to recognized that this was a small binary system in which the gas giant failed to ignite. There was also an image of a small dark rocky planet which I wondered whether that be Tellaidian’s home planet. The gas giant was easily 1000 times bigger than the small dark planet, but the size and color of the star was most perplexing causing me to doubt the experience.

Then Tellaidian said to me, “I show you this because your astronomical knowledge does not include this”. I was quite surprised by what he said and responded, “Yes Tellaidian. You are correct. I am not familiar with this type of star and this seems to be a small failed binary system”. Tellaidian never commented about the small planet. The point seemed to be the exercise of seeing this star. Actually I found the star quite upsetting. I felt this image had to be wrong, the experience has to be wrong; that a star of that size would not be red. There are red giants, not red dwarfs, and a dwarf star should be brown (infrared). {Afterwords I googled Red Dwarf and to my surprise there is known a small M class spectral star type called red dwarfs; much smaller than our Sun}3

The next structure we saw was another tight spiral galaxy but I did not think this was Andromeda. I wondered about this. Tellaidian then pointed out, “There are many nearby galaxies”. Here too I realized he was correct. There are about 50 known nearby galaxies in our Local Group. I wondered if I was seeing this as viewed from the polar opposite view from our galaxy wondering which way our orientation was facing. In any event I realized I had a view from our galaxy at some orientation that allowed me to see clearly some other galaxy in our Local Group. There was another brief view of another group of the same alien type we had seen earlier. Then we returned.

Once back in the lounge Tellaidian made the point, “When you go there, be vigilant”. I wondered what this meant saying, “I find no reason to go back to the Concourse”, as if it didn’t matter, but he insisted a couple of time adamantly, “WHEN you go back, BE vigilant!”. I wondered why he was being so strong in this apparent warning as I had no intention or plans of going back. Why was he so sure that I would go back there someday I wondered.

After a time with him we had no particular topic of discussion when suddenly I saw Anosh approaching out of nowhere. She made a strong impression as she walk directly up to me. This reminded me of the times we first met as she was now again poised, confident, clear minded as then, and now she stood directly before me. I decided to be more formal with her but I did take her hand in greeting. She asked, “What does this gesture mean?”, as she looked directly at me. I could clearly see aspects of her face. I replied, “Anosh, I do this to convey my sincerity to you”. After a brief pause she replied, “I desire you continue … to hold my hand”, and I continued to hold her hand as I wondered about this meeting. I decided to add nothing more to this contact with her other than this, and she also said nothing more. Why is she here I wondered.

Then after some moments she turned and walked away as suddenly I saw a Plieadian ship. It was clear. I struggle with this wondering why I was seeing their ship as I watch her go to it and then enter it. I wondered was I being shown this as a prelude to when they actually come to meet me? Is this so I recognized their ship? Why would I see their ship while I’m here at AS?

The rest of the meditation was incidental. I was gone about 90 minutes.

Jan 30th, 2018

A couple days of training meditations – 45 minutes


  1. Looking at my old notes (Starlines 1) I observe that I encountered this same view the first time I was in the memory room during that course. 
  2. The Nadir was first observed and discussed (12/6/2016) in the notes: The Facilitators and the Nadir. See Collection: The Wise Ones and The Ancients. 
  3. May 2019: At my storage garage I was reorganizing some boxes of old books. I was surprised to find I still have my advanced text on astrophysics which I read in the late 1990s. I had been wondering if possibly the knowledge of red dwarfs lurked in my forgotten subconscious. Turning to the index I found no reference to red dwarf, rereading the chapter on observations, theory, and organization of the Hertzsprung-Russel diagram…. no reference or any commentary about red dwarf stars was found; just general comments about M class stars. So Tellaidian was in fact correct. My astronomical knowledge did not include the term or concept of a red dwarf.