Acceptance (Jan 2018)

Acceptance (January 2nd 2018)

d.

During my evening meditation I became aware of Tellaidian. Given the energy I was enjoying at the time I thought I should go and see if there was actually any merit to this sudden awareness. Could it just be a memory-load? Now however, I suspected there may actually be something to this – I could feel it.

I was gone nearly an hour in this manual meditation. When I got to focus 21, as I reached for my F21 mnemonic I found it was replaced with a black lance, stuck in the ground. The lance was wrapped with black leather and many dark feathers tied to it. The feathers moved as if in a wind. I touched them and wondered where the ancestral spirits were. After a moment I decided it was time to proceed but then someone said to me, “Take the lance”, so I took it with me to F27.

Arriving at my SP27 portico I decided to climb up onto a flat area hewed into the arete that is adjacent and above my SP, which is just a cave fashioned from a crack in the mountainside. I took the lance and holding it up high I called to the Cardinal Spirits on behalf of the Native Americans and their Ancestors saying,

“It has been enough! These people have been robbed, murdered, and oppressed in every way. It is enough! Now come! Come breathe new life into these peoples and their spirits!”. I jammed the lance into the rock so it would be my witness and then I climbed down to the ledge portico before my doorway.

As I entered my SP I found myself as a ghost floating up along the ceiling. I wondered why this was happening so I worked to consolidate myself at my window, and after uncovering my labradorite sphere I accessed the Elohim’s energy conduit.

Energy instantly blaze into me and the sphere. The stone and I radiated with bright energy. I bounced to Earth 27, to be at the place Ethereal showed me, and I spent a moment with Earth there.

On the bounce back to my SP I found myself abruptly back in the blazing light. Then once more I returned to Earth 27 using the sling-shot, feeling its calm, and after a moment I proceeded to F34/35.

I did not go to Voyager 8 but I did energized its group energy crystal for others that may plan on using to. After that I consolidated at my F42 mnemonic that’s on my suite’s door at AS (Alpha Squared).

I spent time working with my mnemonic trying to clarify its form, tune it for future use, and then I was startled to find Atur standing very close to me. He was looking over my left shoulder at what I was doing. I was surprised to have him standing so close, really just inches away as he closely studied the adjustments I was making to my mnemonic.

I turned to him, and placing my hand over my heart I said, “I only want truthful contacts with you Atur”. I was unconvinced he was actually there. Then I decided to go see Tellaidian but as I turned away from my suite’s door to head down the hallway to Tellaidian’s conference room Atur interrupted me saying, “You should go in your suite”. Given the surprising interruption I obeyed and entered my suite where I found both Tellaidian and Sa-Tash waiting for me.

I approached them, surprised both of them would be there together. I greeted them and wondered why both of them would be there. Then Tellaidian directed my attention to the memory room’s door saying, “Go – Ask your question”. This also surprised me but I did what he told me without question.

I entered the memory room and found the unit ready; seat facing outward, looking to the stars; operators ready.

I got in the chair and said, “I need to know the truth of these experiences. Are these valid constructs or is it all my imagination”?

I sat waiting, but nothing happened. I was puzzled and disappointed by this. Things seemed to be leading me here so why isn’t this working, but then I saw something.

I saw the pyramids, as I have seen them previously ¹. I was aware of other structures and quickly recognized this scene as the place I’ve been to before. I recognized the alignment of the structures that transport one through this trajectory to the Beyond. I was able to review this scene clearly, recognizing it, and then suddenly – I was gone.

I found myself in a black void, an empty silence, but then after a moment I saw the Twelve Pillars of Light before me, as I saw them during Starlines 2 – The Complete Intentions and Purpose of the Ancients (F42-49). I stood there facing them, surprised to see this place again.

Then something from among the pillars said to me, “Speak”, and so I answered, “I need to know what the truth is of these experiences? The Ancients promised I would know and after these recent months what do I truly know? Are those true statements from a valid construct or is all this simply my imagination?”

There was a pause and They answered, “The answer is both yes and no. Yes, these constructs come to you through something very much like your imagination. But no, this is not a fabrication of your imagination”.

After a moment I responded, “I can’t live with such uncertainty; this constant, unceasing, uncertainty”. In response all They said was, “We understand”.

Acknowledging that I added, “I understand what I feel is incompleteness, but…”, and They interrupted me saying. [So you understand] this is Our purpose. You understand [We are] [cause] of the uncertainty [done this] that you are given”.

Surprised I asked, “Then… this is not my fault, not a flaw”? They elucidated, “From such total uncertainty comes great [clarity] decisiveness [this [duality] you understand]. Decisive purpose [it] will emerge from this in its time. This is why [it is as it is]”. And I felt peace. I could accept what They said.

They added, “Be at peace. You may have this. Be unconcerned with the darkness [you are aware of] here. We control the balance in this. You have no need to question their [dark] intent. We control [as you know] them”. And again I felt at peace.

In response I said to Them, “I am not able [in myself form] to be this”, but they assured me saying, “Be unconcerned with this. Live your life without care. Enjoy this peace. All will care for itself [in its time]. The purposes are Ours. We will bring it forth”.

Suddenly, I found myself looking across the galaxy, looking out into the open space beyond it. Seeing other galaxies clustered. I gazed at them. They added, “You will have complete fullness; totality of being”. At this time the sight, of such Space and clusters of galaxies as far as one could see, did not disturb me as it did during Starlines 2. I was able to accept what They said.

Then I turned back to Them asking, “Have you seen the grief on Earth”? “[Not of Our interests] You are [Our] witness [witnessing for Us]”, They explained (as I understood the extension of Their being).

I continued, saying, “I have seen enough. The greedy. The murderous. Those that oppress others that hopelessly struggling to achieve some semblance of harmony. The planet itself is being poisoned. It is time to bring that to its end; to gather the criminals”.

There was a silent pause so after a moment I thought to thank them and began to turn away, but They stopped me saying, “You need not leave. Stay. Stay here with Us”. So I turned back to be with Them. We continued to speak to each other candidly. After a long time I found I was able to accept Them, the uncertainties, and I left. When I turned away suddenly I found myself back in the memory chair.

Reentering my suite I approached Tellaidian and Sa-Tash. I turned to Sa-Tash saying, “Sa-Tash, I hope to be all you need of me”. I turned to Tellaidian saying, “Master, I will go as you direct me. You have guided me well – far beyond. Please continue guiding me as your wisdom dictates”.

I wondered did this happen because of the energy added to my question by Tellaidian and his associates (See last entry in Post Starlines II (Nov 2017-Dec 2017))?

With that said, and slightly worn-out, I left the suite. In the hallway I found Atur and also Anosh who was standing back a bit looking shy. I decided it must be discussed. We had an extensive private conversation among ourselves (between Anosh and myself).

I wasn’t sure how to leave these companions I’ve come to know. They are my friends, the few allies that understand, but knowing I had to go back I turned away and headed down the hallway. I took the elevator to the main hall and left.

January 7th, 2018

I had a very interesting discovery today. I found continuities in two places in my notes that I had no awareness of previously. It made a big impression and was encouraging. It is Them.

Jan 10

These are notes from last night. I was gone about 90 minutes. It was a long detailed visit at AS (Alpha Squared F42). At the time I didn’t feel like doing a meditation. I had no purpose or question in mind but there was a sense I should go. I wondered, would this be about socializing. Is that it?

As I was staging in F10/12 I remembered Tellaidian once told me to exert myself more, so I gathered the energy about me and put it forward. Then I saw Tellaidian’s face appear, as if he was just looking at me. I called to him asking if he wanted a visiter and he answered, “Yes. Come. You come”, in his oddly jovial manner; at least that’s how I intuit it. I’m not gonna write all the details. There’s just too much. Here are the highlights:

When I got to my F21 mnemonic I found it was back to it’s normal appearance. As I touched it a strong aged hand came to rest on my forearm. I could seen nothing else but I recognized the hand of the Sachem and so I rested my hand on his. After a moment I left.

When I arrived at my SP27 I wasn’t sure whether Raphael was actually there but as I was energizing to proceed to F34 he abruptly stopped me asking, “What are you intentions”?

In reply I explained, “I wish to visit Tellaidian at the AS. I am open to special tasks requested of me”. Then after a long pause as he looked at me I added, “I intend to follow you as my guide when the Recovery begins”. “That is what I wanted to hear”, he said and I left.

I started my sling-shot process going to EC34 and found Ethereal. She was vague but I was convinced she was there, so I expanded my energy into the Earth and her, “Let all these things be nurtured according to their need; let it be restored and let there be no lack”, I pronounced. After that moment with her and the Earth I left, going directly to AS in F42.

Once at AS I went directly to Tellaidian’s area. I saw him in his conference room laying down, err – sitting down at the near end of the room, close to the entrance. I went over and sat down on the bench next to him. We spoke of many things. Some things I remember:

As I was examining the vagueness of shapes (individuals) in the room I wonder what I was observing since my perceptions were vague. I asked Tellaidian if he could help me know whether I was perceiving his visitors or not.

He explained, “You see those who have associated thoughts of this place. They are not fully here, rather this is a residue of their present-mindedness that considers this place in some way.”

I remember asking him if he was old to which he explained, “I am not old as you consider. I am old in years [yes], but the prime of my species is much longer in life then that of your’s. At this time I am in my prime, and will be so for a long time, but when its time to leave (die) I wish to go be with the Ones you meet. This is part of our culture’s teaching; those advanced and aged speak of this. Yet – that is somehow natural to you. After a long pause he looked at me thoughtfully and said, “I know you spoke for me with the Ones”, as if to thank me. I responded, “It was a small thing Tellaidian. Give it no thought”.

Then he stood up in a most clumsy manner. As I watched the motions under his long robe it reminded me of something like a horse struggling to standup. We began a short slow walk along the windows of the right side of his lounge. I turned to Tellaidian and said, “I would like to perceive better. I don’t know that I am see anything”.

He asked me, “What do you see”? I began looking around and answered, “I can see toward one end of the room, the residual image of other guests.” Looking the other way I said, “I can see this end of the lounge and the entrance. I see you, but I can’t see out the window”. Tellaidian answered, “It looks like you are perceiving well enough”.

Then I asked him, “Where is this thought-structure? Was it created in … a somewhere”? He answered, “In a manner it is somewhere. It is where the inhabitants that initiated the structure agreed”. I wondered at that. “Are there similar structures in other places, other galaxies”, I asked? “Yes”, he replied. “Do you go there”, I asked? “Not generally. This is my place”, he answered. Then I thought to ask, “What is the use of the stargate? What does it do?” To this he only said, “It gives one access to the mind of the physical Universe”.

We continued our slow stroll along the lounge windows and I abruptly saw the image of a dark face outlined in a fleeting movement of dark purple and immediately I recognized the Nadir. Unalarmed but curious I asked Tellaidian, “Master, the Nadir…”. “Yes. You detected him”, Tellaidian replied.

I continued, “What is the opposition of this individual or culture? Why does he menace this way”? “They do not threaten danger”, he explained. Rephrasing my question I asked, “What is the reason for their opposition”? To which Tellaidian said,“The Nadir ² believe long range telepathic traffic pollutes the pure background state of consciousness”. I found this to be a very interesting thought and I wondered about it. Could the Nadir be right?

Next I was surprise to see Sa-Tash materializing as he walked up to us. I wondered at this personification and greeted him. “Sa-Tash”, I asked, “Do you know Tellaidian”, intending to introduce him to which he answered, “All those that come here know of Tellaidian”. I wondered why he was there to which he explained, “I am here to visit”.

After some moments together I asked Sa-Tash how he identifies projects; whether there was some level of guidance that directs him. It seemed Sa-Tash was unclear how to explain this to me. After a moment he explained something to the effect that I don’t have the needed concepts to recognize the form of this explanation.

As I was considering what Sa-Tash had explained, clearly and quite abruptly Atur entered the lounge and walked up to me on my left. I greeted him asking if he knew Tellaidian to which Atur replied, “I only know him indirectly”, but then Atur leaned over to me saying, “May we speak in private?”

I turned looking at him considering this and seeing only Atur I wondered where Anosh was, so I turned to Sa-Tash and Tellaidian excusing myself and walk over to Atur, where he was now standing a short distance away next to the window. When I approached him he leaned close to me saying emphatically, “You must speak to Anosh”. I wondered at this asking, “Why”? Continuing with a concerned look on his face he appealed to me saying, “Her feelings are deep. They vex her – within her…. if you would speak with her”.

Looking toward the lounge entrance I saw Anosh standing there quietly and then she walked up to me slowly. When she was close I could feel the disturbance and looked at her face. “I took her hand and holding it to my chest I said, “Anosh, I must feel what you feel. I need to know my perceptions are correct. I do not wish to misunderstand you”. Then I extended my senses to detect her, near enveloping her being saying, “If I am correct, this pain is in your heart. I did not know your kind could carry this”, and I energized myself extending light into and all about her being as I said, “Be whole Anosh… be free of this pain”, and we stood face to face as I held her in this focused energy.

As I held her hands I turned to Atur, “I need to understand these things. I do not know your culture. You are more advance then I. Why come to me”? To which Atur countered, “We are more advanced then you only in practice, not in substance”.

Then I let go of Anosh’s hands in a manner of speaking and they turned away slowly. As they walked away to the entrance I called out to them, “I look forward to us meeting. You’re coming this year… right?”. And they gave me me the strangest look that made me wonder with some concern. What does that mean I thought?

Then I turned back to Tellaidan and we continued our slow walk along the window. After a time it was clear he was going to walk out to the aisle area, so I walked with him.

Looking ahead to the station lounge on our floor, I could see through that room’s windows. I saw a large ship pull away slowly as though it was docked. I wondered if that was the Pleiadians, but I didn’t know. We got to the observation lounge area where Tellaidian stopped and said, “I will leave you to your thoughts and we said good bye as he turned around to walk back to his room.

I turned back to look out the large window. As I looked out into space I decided to push the issue so I called out to the space, “The Elohim has said I may be with Them. The Ancients has said, I may be with Them. The Wise One has said, I may be with Him. Where are You now? Here I am. I ask You, are all these just empty words or are You here”.

“We are here”, was enunciated to me. I said, “I can hardly perceive you. It is not as in the past. I don’t know where this thought comes from. I do not feel You”.

Then I saw, as when my encounter happened during Starlines 1, the pinnacle tier; as if a place of immortals, a place like Mount Olympus. I saw the One in the center as before and as before I could not detect Its form. At this time I also saw my sister standing to its left as before. I spoke out, “I see Hera my sister. Where is the one that is Elohim that says she is my true mother”, I asked?

In response They answered, “She is with her kind. Your sister, who is of this nature, is here as you are. I understood and remained with Them a long time, wondering.

Jan 11th,

Datil – Long encounter with an interesting Earth (Wind) Spirit. Fascinating.

January 12th, 2018

Manual practice meditation (w/o hemi-sync): to just work on the blank slate. I went to F12 without any affirmation. Then Anosh punctuated my mind. I pushed the thought aside, but again she strongly preoccupied my whole mind. Repeatedly pushing it out I thought to myself I really have no control over these memory loads. I just can’t clear my mind of her. But then I wondered, could this be Anosh?

Again she intruded and given my inability to keep a clear mind I allowed my mind to look at the input. Then, appearing alone, she walked up to me boldly demanding, “You MUST SPEAK to me”! I was surprised at the strength of the thought. I then accepted that this was Anosh. She stood directly in front of me, close to me, appearing deeply conflicted. I took her hands and holding them I spoke to her. We had a long private conversation. (Is what’s happening what I think is happening)

After a time Atur appeared and he approached us. In lighter conversation I again explained I needed to know more about their culture. After more light conversation I crafted a special gift for Anosh and imparted it to her. I also formed a gift of benediction for Atur and offered that for him. After this Anosh and I let go of each other’s hands and before she turned to join Atur she kissed me on the cheek.

She appeared happy. As Atur looked at, what I now understood is his sister’s face. He too appeared to be very happy to see his sister’s joy. Then Atur looking pleased to see Anosh’s well-being turned and looked at me. I said to him, “It will be a joy when we actually meet”, to which Atur replied, “It will indeed be a great day of joy”.

With that they both turned and departed. I found I was glad to see Anosh this way. I have never seen her like this. She has always been serious.

Then I was alone. My mind was clear and I thought I would continue to 21. I considered whether I should I go to the Obelisk, so I went there wondering if Yurael would be there. At the Obelisk I didn’t have the heart to do much. About to turn away I saw Yurael hovering above me.

I said to her, “Is there something to guide how I use this place”? Yurael only said, “You may do as you choose”, but I countered “I do not have the wisdom for this, surely there is some directive that guides my actions here”, but Yurael only looked at me. I turned back to the Obelisk as I muttered at Yurael, “Fine – I will do one thing” and went about working on one target.

After that I decided to leave. I took one last look at Yurael hovering near me and left. I proceeded to pass by the Wizard’s old dwelling. I paused wondering what would be inside. To be honest about it, I have avoided doing this as I had some apprehension how an empty dwelling would effect me.

I walked slowly to the entrance and looking inside I saw… I saw myself sitting there alone. We looked at each other and I saw the stress in myself sitting there. We looked at each other and then the other me said, “Well, here we are… waiting for the future to finally arrive”. “Yes”, I replied, “We wait”. After some moments I turned away.

As I walked away heading toward my F21 mnemonic, planning to leave, I saw Devenoir standing there waiting for me. I approached him wondering why he was there, but he only looked at me with that tranquil serenity that embodies him. He gestured, and looking I noticed the portal to the Wise One was there.

Reluctantly I went to the portal as it seemed Devenoir was directing me there. I stepped under the light – and suddenly found myself on the portico of the Great Hall. I walked along the great pillars looking out over the City that shown brightly. I was disinclined to speak with the Wise One and saw an attendant waiting for me. I also saw my sister standing on the stairs a few steps down from the portico.

I didn’t know what to do. What is it I am truly perceiving? In a desire for more real association I decided to go be with her. I walked over to her and walking down a few steps I said, “Hello Hera”, but the figure replied, “I am not your sister Bill, I am your mother”, and she took my hand. I tried to sense her.

“We love you very much”, she said. I replied, “Love? This is love? You have vexed my whole life with misery, pain, loss, and obstacles.  The suffering on that world is – it is so great… It is terrible. Is it really too much to ask of you [a validation]? Why did you do this to me?” I stated.

Suddenly a large presence with little form emerged powerfully from the Great Hall saying, “I DID THIS… I did this to you to make you strong, to make you powerful, to give you wisdom; to give you fullness of being”. I considered this as I faced this powerful entity. There is no argument one may pursue (with Them). There is nothing offered that gives me resolution about these matters.

So I turned away with my mother. We walked down the steps together, walking down slowly. As we came to the bottom of the stairs I saw the portal back. After saying a brief goodbye I stepped into the light and was back in my body; again as if I was never gone.

What am I to do with these experiences that offer no seal of truth? What is this matter with Anosh?

Tues Jan 23rd, 2018

A 75 minute manual meditation: critical observation practice. There was nothing notable. I was very careful regarding what I accepted as valid images but there were none to speak of. I did see Anosh which I questioned, and pushed her image out ignoring it.

Sunday Jan 28th, 2018

I was considering what Tellaidian said; that I have not tried. This week I am trying to spent the time acquiring energy and watch what transpires. My intention in this meditation was again to critically observe the images that may present; to take a close look at everything; reexamine what I think I am truly encountering.

I went to my mnemonic at AS where I resolved to remain in the hallway, only observing; again to determine what I am actually witnessing. After awhile I detected Tellaidian who said, “Come. You come”. So I went over to Tellaidian’s lounge which was empty.

After greeting him I sat down on his left and was determined to critically observe. After a time I explained to Tellaidian my objective in being there; that I was trying to figure out what were the facts of this place. Tellaidian responded, I think perhaps in humor, “There are no facts about this place”. I understood he was reminding me this is a thought-construct.

After a time Tellaidian placed his left hand on my right forearm as if to get my attention, as he pointed out of his lounge window. Looking where he pointed, I saw what seemed like the oblique view of a circular galaxy with little or no dust lanes, but this bright disc had a funnel shape that didn’t make sense to me. After some moments of studying the image, wondering what it was I was seeing, I thought its scale was wrong?

Tellaidian started to lead me out his lounge toward the image. As we approached, it became more clear that although the image had the sparkle of a galaxy it was funnel shaped, not disc shaped, and as we were about to enter it I saw that it was the size of only that which allowed the two of us to enter. I misunderstood the depth of perception.

As I looked into the funnel I could see this structure extended; stretching into the distance, very much like the stargate. But this was much smaller; again only big enough for the two of us to enter its entrance aperture. Once inside I asked Tellaidian what this was to which he replied something to the effect that this was a concourse in my terminology.

Soon I saw a group of aliens that reminded me of the ones encountered during Starlines 1 and 2; while in that so-called stargate. Tellaidian commented, “Those ones [species] are prevalent”. He was quite specific about this matter but he did not elaborate further.

He continued to explain that this (concourse) system provided access to our general locality in our galaxy. While still in the structure there was a time when we slowly approached a red star. I had considerable time to studied this image carefully.

I did not understand how the star could be so small. I was deeply perplexed by this; troubled. Is this true or am I making this up I wondered? I thought it should be either much bigger or it should be a brown dwarf; that it should not be red – if it was actually real. Yet it was clearly red and fusing.

Our approach took a long time and when we got closer I saw there was also a large gas giant planet. I was surprised to recognized this was a small binary system in which the gas giant failed to ignite. There was also an image of a small dark rocky planet which I wondered whether that be Tellaidian’s home planet, but Tellaidian did not say what it was.

The gas giant planet was easily 1000 times bigger than the small dark planet but the size and color of the star was what most perplexed me, causing me to seriously doubt the experience. It has to be wrong.

Then Tellaidian said to me, “I show you this because your astronomical knowledge does not include this”. I was quite surprised by what he said and responded, “Yes Tellaidian. You are correct. I am not familiar with this type of star and this seems to be a small failed binary system”. Again, Tellaidian never commented about the small planet. The point of this exercise seemed to be seeing this star.

I found the star quite upsetting. I felt this image had to be wrong, the experience has to be wrong – a star of that size would not be red. There are red giants, not red dwarfs, and a dwarf star should be brown (infrared). {Afterwords I googled Red Dwarf and to my surprise I found there was in fact a small M class spectral star type called red dwarfs; much smaller than our Sun}³

The next structure we saw was another smaller spiral galaxy (The Triangulum?). I did not think this was Andromeda. I wondered about this. Tellaidian pointed outward, “There are many nearby galaxies”.

Here too I realized he was correct. There are about 50 known nearby galaxies in our Local Group and of course many myriads of galaxies beyond that. I wondered if I was seeing this as viewed from the polar opposite view from our galaxy wondering which way our orientation was facing. In any event I realized I had a view from our galaxy at some orientation that allowed me to see clearly some other galaxies in our Local Group. There was another brief view of a second group of the same alien type we had just seen earlier. Then we returned.

Once back in the Tellaidian’s lounge he made the point, “When you go there, be vigilant”. I wondered what this meant saying, “I find no reason to go back to the Concourse”, as if it didn’t matter, but he insisted a couple of time adamantly, “WHEN you go back, BE vigilant!”. I wondered why he was being so strong in this apparent warning as I had no intention or plans of going back. Why was he so sure that I would go back there someday I wondered.

After a time with him we had no particular topic of discussion when suddenly I saw Anosh approaching out of nowhere. She made a strong impression as she walk directly to me.

This reminded me of the times we were first meeting as she now was again poised, confident, clear minded as then. She stood directly before me. I decided to be more formal with her, but I did take her hand in greeting.

She asked, “What does this gesture mean?”, as she looked at me directly. I could clearly see aspects of her face. I replied, “Anosh, I do this to convey my sincerity… to you”. After a brief pause she replied, “I desire you continue… to hold my hand”, and I continued to hold her hand as I wondered about this meeting. I decided to add nothing more to this contact with her other than this, and she also said nothing more.

After some moments she turned and walked away as suddenly I saw a Plieadian ship arriving. It was clear. I struggle with this wondering why I was seeing their ship as I watch her head down the hallway crossing the station; to where it seemed the ship may dock, and she was gone.

I wondered why I was being shown this; as a prelude to when they actually come to meet me? Is this so I recognized their ship? Why would I see their ship while I’m here at AS?

The rest of the meditation was incidental. I was gone about 90 minutes.

Continue reading at the next collected notes: The Earth Council of Elohim (Feb 2018)

Jan 30th, 2018

A couple days of training meditations – 45 minutes