By mid-November 2014 I had completed all six Waves sets that comprise the whole Gateway Voyage CD program. The sixth set introduces the student to focus level 21. Here I add a spoiler alert to explain that focus 21 is at the edge of what we conventionally think of space-time, at least in TMI speak or doctrine and that’s a highjacking of a legitimate scientific concept. What focus 21 may be, is the limit of a living human’s supra-consciousness capably, in general. I think that is a suitably vague, yet descriptive enough explanation for F21 for the moment.
Resuming the story I remember reading somewhere that Bob Monroe said most all visitors to the Gateway Voyage course have some sort of profound experience in Wave 5 or 61. When I started working in focus 21 I found that it did have another distinct sense to it but that too was elusive. At first focus 21 produced nothing at all for me. In general, other than focus 10 and 12, I found that it was hard to know what state I was in and unfortunately it again seemed like nothing was happening with the F21 environment.
Then on November 15th I was getting ready to repeat one of the free flow focus 21 sessions (previously failures mostly) and then this session was immediately interrupted with the appearance of Raphael. Again he stood directly in front of me, close – face to face – and said “We got work to do….”
In general I am cautiously mindful to not add or created any imaginative structures2 in these experiences and so I benignly register what Raphael said, intending to not read into what he said nor pursue a meaning of what he meant. After he said that, the narration happened to be progressing from focus 12 to 21 in the background and at that time I became aware that a number of ‘entities’ (I have no idea what they were) were gathering around and behind me. A moment later many more arrive and they appeared to be gathering behind me to lift or push or something and when they did I found myself accelerating forward through what seemed to be focus levels. In a short time we arrived at what I thought was focus 21 and then we stopped and waited.
At that time in the track the narration explains that there are loving individuals from the “other side” that have an interest in meeting and or helping. Since I had been working with this track for awhile and nothing had previously happened I said to myself, “Ok, sure – Let see who’s there”. So I called out a hello. Nothing. I decided that I should give it more effort and so I called out again and then – there was my decease aunt and uncle.
I was absolutely and completely astonished! They were so happy to see me! I was just utterly amazed. My aunt and uncle lived about one block away from where I grew up. They did not have kids of their own and so they adopted two girls. I recalled my uncle always took a particular interest – in my uncle’s own nurturing way – so seeing them slowly began to make sense to me.
Face to face with my aunt and uncle I noted my recently deceased mother was not there. My aunt and uncle acknowledged that. I asked where my dad was and they had a more serious note (to be explained later in my late November note)3.
But being together with my aunt and uncle was just – unexplainable joy – to meet them after all this time. I can’t describe the magnitude of this amazing and powerful experience. Then I understood my uncle had been waiting all this time since he had passed to see me come across to the other side. Apparently I was early.
Then Raphael, who was still there, advanced to be the central figure. I understood he wanted to take me somewhere else. He turned to face me again and extended both his arms and so I took both his arms, forearm-to-forearm, he began to pull me upward. Again this was like the near sickening pulls I had experienced with him in focus 15 but after some moments I felt better with transition; for some reason it felt smoother.
As Raphael was pulling me higher he would periodically look at me as if to assess how I was doing. At one point the feeling had become very intense (the rate he was pulling) and when he checked me I told him to just go for it, that I’d hang on though I was at my limit of tolerating whatever this phenomena was.
Eventually we got to … to where? A state? A place? I have no idea where or what it was that Raphael had brought me to. We stopped and stayed wherever we were for awhile. Then the narrator interrupted that it was time to go. Next I had a sense of descending and in time we came back to the place where my aunt and uncle were waiting.
There were so happy! In my life I had never really had anyone that truly cared about me, most care about themselves or were wrapped-up in themselves, or care momentarily but reveal their true interests and so it was quite moving to see how they felt about me; that they were there, and that there was someone that really had cared.
As Raphael and I were leaving I found I had actually begun to cry and why would I cry at that time? Because I had never in my life seen anyone who was so utterly joyful; never seen anything like this; it was completely overwhelming. I also understood that since my aunt and uncle didn’t have their own kids, somehow they always had a particular interest in me, particularly my uncle.
In the lesson track one is talk back down; back to normal consciousness (called C1) by the narration. It can be quite annoying as it is sometimes a very long count down. In this case I found that it was hard to come back. It was difficult to get down to focus 12 as it was a real effort to detach myself from that environment. At this time the narrator’s counts down was very handy. Overall it was a very profound experience, that in some ways took some time to recover from. The above hardly describes it adequately at all. There is no way to describe it to someone who has not been beyond.
- As an aside, when I took the Gateway course at TMI there were about 25 people in the course. It took a few days before folks began to have their ‘experiences’. I don’t know what transpired for the students after the course, but I believe only three or four did not have ‘Big Wow’ or other transforming experiences. Two of the four began to feel something by the end of the course that they couldn’t identify. So it appears most people are experiencing something after having spent some time in focus 12. ↩
- Some certainly will disagree with me about this, but there is something I have heard referred to as, ‘priming the pump’. Priming the pump is intentionally creating an imaginative scene to get an experience going. What I do is watch my mind watching the… nothing – the blank slate I call it. Here I scrutinize whatever presents to discern whether it is a memory loading, a stray imagination embarking, a self deception, an authentic image, awarenesses, feeling awareness, and so on. ↩
- I come from a broken and violent home. My father was an epileptic alcoholic and my mother was, well… my dad called her a battle-axe and that was a fair description in my experience. My father shot himself through the head in our home when I was in eighth grade but survived enough to vegetate in a VA institution. He died when I was 18 years old. ↩