The Wilderness (November 2019…)
I have not tried any meditations. I find myself laughing out loud at how absurd this is. I should never have gone back to TMI. I think there’s nothing more to discuss. It’s been pretty much been stated nothin’s changing anytime soon and I’m left with this delusion about Anosh; we can’t tell you tell you the truth about that now. Right- that figures (refer: Starlines 1 (Repeat) Oct 19-Oct 25, 2019)
November 6th, 2019
I have however, come to understand and accept that trust is the next state of being to become. I somehow see it now. It is time to trust and I guess I feel I can work at that.
Nov 8th 2019
I decided I should maintain my meditation routine; at least somewhat. I need the clarity of mind.
Entering my session after gathering energy for a short bit I extended myself to all those who stand with me. If they stand with me, we are one as far as I am concerned and I will extend my strength into our bond, but everything was completely opaque to me – totally opaque. No doubt I am likely rusty but now I am blind. I can’t penetrate any of this.
When I got to F27 I recognized I had no idea where I was at all. With difficultly I consolidate in my SP but it too was mostly opaque to me. I worked at consolidating for awhile with little success.
Then something familiar said, “We are here”. I clearly detected it for an instant but then where did it go? I called out, “Please increase our distinction or clarify your identity”, but there was no response. Then something dark enveloped me and I could feel it and knew it wasn’t good as I said to it, “I will only allow that which is true in this contact. Any deception, guile, or darkness – leave now – I will not tolerate it”. And it was gone.
Then I detected faintly Those I Know and inquired, “Who are you for I do not [perceive] know [you]”? “Elohim” was replied distantly and I accepted that it was Them; at least briefly. Then after a moment something said to, “Come be with Us”, and I answer, “I would but in myself I cannot”, and suddenly I was faintly aware the Great Hall as if in the distance.
Could I possibly get there I questioned being incapacitated like this and again I heard, “Come”. Then suddenly I found myself weakly consolidated on the Hall’s portico and – I was with the Presence of the Light. It was so good to be with Her.
“You desired to be with me”, She state. “Yes. Thank you for bringing me here”, I answered; all else was opaque other than a very faint image of Her. She turned, taking my hand and led me into the Great Hall’s interior but this too was imperceivable. I had no idea where I was except that I was with Her.
Then She said to me, “You desire truth”. “YES. I need it to find balance”, I answered and She turned leading me as She stepped into the Fountain of Light (Into the Light (Aug 2018 to …). She stepped into it and led me into the Light after Her. Inside we did not proceed far. I wasn’t sure what I could do here. Then She stated, “Here is access to all Universes”, as if offering it to me and I answered, “You had told me I may come here to find answers to my questions”. “Yes. Ask”, She offered.
In reply I explained to Her, “I cannot ask. I have been willful in my arguments and I have been told that I cannot know now and that the time – has not yet come. My questions would violate those pronouncements. To which She answered, “It is your name to be willful – William”.
I struggled for a long time trying to find something that I could ask; anything that I might get an answer to, but I could find no question that was appropriated for me to ask this Source or whatever this place is in contact with.
She looked at me as if waiting and so I said to Her, “It is my desire to know the truth of Anosh”, and the Presence answered me saying, “She is as you”. “As me”? I asked puzzled.
“She is physical, as you are physical. Your meet in spirit” She explained and I was relieved that there was at least something I could be told. It was good to know that Those I meet here support me in whatever way They can. Then the Presence turned to leave the Fountain and we left.
Stepping out of the Fountain I was able to faintly observe the other figures that I commonly see here. They always stand adjacent to the Fountain; standing as if Greek goddesses in waiting draped in fine gowns. I turned to the Presence asking, “Who are these? I have met these before, here”. And the Presence answered, “These are oracles of the Light. They assist me – as voices; they serve as speaking voices for me, but you meet me directly without oracle.
I was puzzled why that was and She instantly answer, “It is your right”. “My right?” I asked incredulously. “It is your birth-right”, She state. “I have not earned this right – I am mortal [How can this be]”, I countered. “You have rejected and have no fear of Darkness. It is your birth-right to be – here – with Me. This is your home”, She state factually.
“You [and others] have shown me much. I am thankful to all Those here”, I answered. Then we walked along the portico looking out over the city which was like a whisper of a perception
Then the One who I first met during Lifelines, the One that told me of the Great Recovery approach (See Tuesday 2nd Session: The Dead: Lifelines @ TMI (Mar 2015). It was very good to be with both this entities from Whom I have received so much support and then the Presence vanished.
So I turned to this One and we were together looking over the City. Then I ask, “You have said my purpose is largely in the Recovery. Can you tell me when that is”? “It is sooner then you think”, is all she would say.
Once exited to C1 I noted the galactic core was above horizon. Very poor seeing conditions for me; guess that makes sense (Sidereal Time and Psychic Ability), but it was cool They brought me up for a bit; that They came for me