The Gatekeeper Collection

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Introduction

At the time represented by these following notes, I had been doing TMI’s Gateway CDs for about two months. In terms of hemi-sync hours logged this period takes place between about 55 hrs and 130 hrs of hemi-sync meditations. The bulk of those hours were in focus level 21.

These collected notes introduce the individual I call The Gatekeeper. I call him that because that is his role. There were other things that happened in parallel with these outlined events but they are not included here.

At this time I was planning to go to TMI for the Gateway Voyage course because it a prerequisite for all advanced classes. Using the CDs, things were quite prolific once I adapted to focus 12. When I got use to focus 21 things took on an even greater magnitude.

As I wrote earlier I had met my deceased aunt and uncle in F21. My uncle continued to be helpful in my adjustment to this new weirdness. My aunt left; don’t know where she went to.

Another peculiar story-set of experiences that occurred in parallel with this collection was my encounter with who I call the Traveler. In a nutshell this creature represents a culture whose sole method of learning and growth is derived by traveling through the galaxy experiencing encounters and observing the experiences of those that it encounters. That information is later brought back to their own kind.

The Traveler does not represent a technological culture rather his culture is a conscious form. The Traveler, who I nick-named Tatooine, stayed with me a long time. He was highly inquisitive. We had discussions about the Earth’s cultures and at times he followed me through my non-physical experiences. He or it was from one of the globular clusters that orbit outside our galaxy’s halo region. I don’t know specifically which one since there are many globular clusters. I must say engaging this entity was most interesting. He was also very pleasant to be with.

Anyway, likely the most important figure that entered my life at the time of these notes is the Gatekeeper. I’m not going to rewrite all the notes about him, rather I will be providing the main highlights of our contacts so one understands who he is in the larger picture of all the experiences. He is still encountered and mention in other notes.

More background concerning focus 21: Many people who’ve been there talk about bridges and some sort of divide between here and there. I first heard this collective notion when I attended the Gateway Voyage course at TMI, however, I already knew about these structures from my own experiences prior to attending the course.

In agreement with the above mentioned TMI folklore I did encountered a chasm in F21 as others. This is what I call the Abyssal Chasm in my notes and there was a bridge. Actually there are more then one bridge but they cross the same chasm.

It’s hard to understand what these structures are or what’s the nature of those things that populate F21 as it appears there are things that reside there in addition to the things that pass through that environment.

For myself there was one place near, what I call in my notes, The Bridge that was a common feature for me. It was a gravel area just to the side of the roadway entrance to the Bridge on our side of the Abyssal Chasm. Whenever I met my uncle it would be in this area, always at the Bridge entrance.

The area was just a patch of something that resembled gravel, lit by something like a single light. To me it resemble the function of a street-light. Under this light was a park-bench. Encounters with the Gatekeeper initially occurred in this specific area. There are of course other places in F21 that I’ve been to.

The First Encounter of the Gatekeeper

November 30th, 2014

At my affirmation I express my desire to resolve this growing skepticism about these experiences. What are these realities I’m encountering and, are they actually true?

One thing I learned around this time is that humans often depend on the strength of a feeling to believe something that is not logically understood. As some have said, tho I don’t particularly agree, “reality is a matter of perception”, and our feelings are one of these perceptions.

Of course for some when the feeling is gone, well – so is their experience or their commitment but even though my experiences had been absolute mind blowers – no doubt about that – with overwhelming strength of feeling, I still had to question the reality of it. The main obstacle to accepting these experiences, no matter how strong they were, was it’s all just impossible to accept given our natural understandings and conditioning.

Anyway, in this session I hardly got into F10 when suddenly I became aware of many figures around me, as if I was surrounded by an audience, a large group huddle. It appeared these were all winged creatures and as I consolidate in the focus-level I recognized they were angels.

Meeting angels is always quite extraordinary. There is something about them that is very special. What makes them special is not just their appearance but also their persona. This is not the case with many other types of creatures. Angels are just aesthetically marvelous beyond what I can describe both in appearance and their unique depth of being.

But in this encounter nothing was communicated during this gathering so I proceed through to focus 12 and waited for the narration to start the translation to F21. In the CD audio track the translation is a changing mix of hemi-sync frequencies that assist one to move to the next levels. During this translation I again became aware of the wing creatures tacking along with me to the next levels.

Due to my own skepticism, unwilling to accept just any image, I tried to scrub the image of the angels from my mind – to get back to my baseline – but I could not eliminate the appearance of these creatures. They were there.

In the CD track Bob narrates a slow migration to F21 and as I progressed in training this transition process began to feel more like flying¹. That’s how I chose to migrate through them, perhaps an inclination picked up while traveling w/ Raphael.

This general period of time was before I learn to memorize these states with encoded mnemonics for shifting between levels. If interested see my discussion: What are ‘mnemonics’? .

Whenever I would arrived in F21 it felt like landing and I would walk into the illuminated circle of light under the lamppost. This was becoming a familiar meeting place. In my notes I often refer to this locale as The Lamppost.

In this particular session when I got to the Lamppost I saw my uncle again to my left and convey my frustration regarding the nagging issue of my skeptisim. Again, after-all, how can any of this actually be real?

After this brief encounter I proceed to work on my intention targets². When I was done with those I turned my attention back to the lit area and realized both Raphael and Gabriel were standing at the opposite edge of the circle of light cast down from the lamppost. They were facing me. If one may use a metric in F21, the illuminated circle of light was less then about 50 feet in diameter.

Suddenly more winged beings arrived. They gathered together and took position on the opposite side of this illuminated circle standing on either side of Raphael and Gabriel.

There was certainly more than a dozen angels, some taller then Raphael and Gabriel; standing along that edge of light facing me. Raphael and Gabriel formed their center.

After a moment of considering the assembly I apologize about my skeptism; questioning their reality. They said nothing. Then an old man emerged. He stepped forward from behind Gabriel and Raphael. He pressed forward between them and alone walked toward me. He was dressed in white garments suggesting an ancient time on Earth, appearing quite human.

He crossed the circle of illuminated gravel and walked up to me. When we were face to face he placed his hand on me although I did not know what he was doing or conveying. He said nothing, only keeping his hand on me. At that moment I tried to focus more purely on F21 itself without any images in my mind to reacquire my mental blank state that I observed from, to get back to objective observation.

I waited and watched trying to clarify what was indeed happening and then someone abruptly commanded me, “Do NOT limit your vision”. It was a very commanding tone; quite startling though I wasn’t sure who said that to me.

I continue pressing myself into F21 to root my consolidation there and as I did that I found I was becoming confused. What was this sensation? I became uncertain regarding what level I was actually in; feeling I no longer knew where I was.

Is this F21 or is this somewhere else? Then I perceived an abyss-like mind of something or someone without form. Whatever this was I detected, it was very deep in the fabric of that place’s existence. I realized, as if from a distant memory, I recognized this Mind, as if I knew it.

I did not receive a specific statement, image, or answer from whatever presence this was but I did feel that whatever or whoever it was, it acknowledged my frustration; my desire for a this world/that world confirmation. This was understood from it, while still recognizing it.

Then the narration interrupted and Bob’s exit process began; the hemi-sync encoding dragging me back to C1, away from this group. Later, in C1, walking about my apartment I felt encouraged, energized, strengthened. The questions were still stuck in my mind but now I found a resolve and an enthusiasm to continue pushing forward. Another clear aspect of this experience was I saw the beauty or wonder in this challenge, tho I fail to accept this nonetheless. What can I say? I was optimistic about engaging this. (56 hours of hemi-sync)

Sidebar note:

Later during this interim time but not discussed in my notes I continued to struggle with believing the whole thing. This increased regardless how clear the experiences were even though the experiences were very clear.

Some may think they believe in archangels and angels, telling children they have a guardian angel and all that stuff, but what was hard for me to accept was that “I” would actually meet any. To throw around Jewish historic names flippantly of archangels is one thing but by this time I had actually met three, many times and I had been meeting things much more powerful then archangels.

Here’s the bottom-line problem: even if one believes all this, how could it be happening to me? How could this possibly be and then – why? I had some understandings about the why, but again … really? It was just too much to believe and it continued getting harder with time as what I learned became even more difficult to accept. The strength and meaning in the encounters was often shocking.

Saturday late afternoon December 6th, 2014

Focus 21 Session

I didn’t have a clear idea what I should pursue in this session. What was most on my mind were these nagging thoughts about the impossibility of all these events, but again to clarify it’s not that I think theses places or characters can’t exist, rather it always comes back to, how can all of this be happening to me?

In recent days I’ve been experiencing a period when nothing at all is happening in my meditations. I’ve started approaching this time, when nothing is happening so to speak, as an opportunity to dwell on the idea of trusting the ineffable since that seems to be the lesson for the time.

One benefit of going through these dead session, what I call duds, is one gets to see what it’s like in mediation when clearly nothing is happening. This provides contrast so when things do happen, following these dead times, the event is apparent. This entry pertains to one of those sessions when clarity again breaks through.

At my energy conversion box (part of the preparatory process) I threw in some dry leaves to symbolize the doubts I didn’t want to affect my session. Then I proceeded to F21 (focus level 21). As I arrived at the edge of the lamppost’s light I took time to consolidate my focus; to consolidate my presence here, or there that is.

Then I saw the old man from the earlier session. I could perceive him more clearly now. He was dressed in long white/gray garments that impressed me as dating from some past culture and era. He was sitting on something that reminded me of a park bench so I sat down with him.

I tried to visualize him more clearly and it appeared he was Asian (Chinese); an old man with very long thin white hair. I thought he was partially bald. He had a very long white beard. He was dressed in something that resembled a long tunic and draped robe or shawl-like garment wrap. This looked like what one might expect during the Confucian era or some other ancient time like that. His feet had something like sandals on I guessed as I couldn’t discern them completely.

I asked him about his appearance. He explained I was correct in my perception. He was from ancient China but he had no notable historic name that I would know and he did not provide one. He said he does use other forms of appearance when needed but he explained he preferred to retain his Earthly appearance with me as it was his original physical appearance.

We talked for a long time. I began to explain my problem with “not believing my own story” and with everything that’s happened I still seem to be stuck in this mindset; now fearing I could be an obstacle to things that might benefit others.

He answered, “You already know this will take time”. We discussed much and I pondered the things he said. Unfortunately I can’t bring back all the details of the conversation. I remember one thing he said when we discussed the strain of these doubts. He said, “You need to learn to rest [in this knowledge]”.

I inquired regarding who he was and he explained he is a gatekeeper so to speak. Then I noticed Raphael was standing near us and I asked, “Why does Raphael attend these encounters so frequently though he is typically silent”? The old man explained, “It is because the two of you have a lot to do together in the future.”

I was somewhat overwhelmed by that and found the gatekeeper gave me time to absorb these thoughts. I wondered about the old man’s purpose and he responded, “I am here to insure that only the proper individuals have power”. I immediately understood why this was but he interrupted my thinking saying, “This is why you are selected”. As I was puzzling over what he said he added, “You have great power. You just don’t know it”.

Then I had the image in mind of a kid in some muscle-car. The youth knows how to drive but doesn’t have the keys to the car. The Gatekeeper again interupt my thoughts saying, “You have learned the important lessons”. That surprised me and after a moment he said, “I have the keys and I am here to teach you [some things]”.

One thing I asked was whether I should go to the Monroe Institute. He answered, “Yes. You should go. As you have already thought … to develop your skills”.

Then Kody, our family dog that I was deeply attached to, was there! He was so excited; a very young dog full of energy and happy to see me. The Gatekeeper commented, “As you already know, it was through his connection with you that gave him life here”.

The narration began the exit process. I bid the Gatekeeper and Raphael goodbye, thanking them for everything, and exited.

62.25 hrs+

Sunday Dec 7th, 2014

Focus 21

I went in search of the Gatekeeper wondering what lesson he might have for me. I also saw Kody the deceased family dog but for an unknown reason I was having a hard time maintaining focus on the perception of the locale’s composite image. I had this same problem last night. Now when I encountered the Gatekeeper I found I had a hard time formulating my thoughts and questions for him.

I do remember one thing he said, “You have a hard time letting go of your logic – the true and false – hard for you to simply perceive”. Then I saw him walking away and Kody running back with over the Bridge that spans the Abyssal Chasm to the other side.

I stayed for awhile trying to work on some intention targets but I couldn’t manage the thoughts, images, or words. Given these difficulties I left the area and headed back for the exit.

Sidebar Note: I’m not including here many short encounters in recent weeks as often these are comprised of very brief conversations. Again my goal is to provide the reader an overview so to speak.

Saturday 12/13/14

At my affirmation, a step in the preparatory process, I announce my desire to address this whole problem (the lack of validation and my skepticism). Then immediately after my affirmation and before the hemi-sync even kicked in I saw Raphael. I’ve become cautious with my perceptions but since I had not seen Raphael in awhile I thought I should accept this. Then he said to me, “We need to go…“. I didn’t know what he meant as Raphael grabbed me by the shoulder and starting to dragging me off as he has in the past.

Similar to other trips with him I seemed to know we would be traveling for a long way. At the beginning of the session I really wasn’t expecting much but the farther Raphael took me the more I began to wonder what would take place. Then the entity that referred to itself as Friend³ appeared and he joined us. As in the past he also took hold of me and pulled together with Raphael.

Then I either thought of it, or a reminder was conveyed to me, as I realized I should be able to translate with them on my own. So the three of us continue to fly together in a direction that was to my upper left is all I can describe. I flew between them, our trio heading out penetrating the dark void. As has happened in the past, we were well beyond F21 before the session’s hemi-sync and narration even got to that segment of the session track.

I wondered where we were going but all I could see was blackness. Soon I began to see a faint image; something green hovering in the blackness. As we got closer I resolved one large tree though I felt there were more. In this small green clearing with the apparent tree, this image hanging in the darkness, I detected the Gatekeeper standing on the grass waiting for us. In time we converge on that location and joined him as something explained to me it was desired to have a new meeting place but I didn’t understand why this was the case.

I opened the conversation explaining my problem: that this is utterly fantastic and I need some authentication of this experience to demonstrate this is not simply a fiction of my mind, creating its own story. I also address some other issues that had become clearer in my mind recently.

I understood the Gatekeeper accept this⁴. He said, “This will be addressed and is coming”. We spoke in detail about many things and the following are parts of the conversation that I can remember now.

First, my concern that I would not remember all this was addressed by the Gatekeeper. He explained, “It is not as important that you mentally remember; it is important the messages are imprinted on you”. Then the two entities that claim to be my true parents arrived; one much too abstract to describe. I apologized to everyone that I was a rather ill-tempered mortal with many faults but the Gatekeeper responded, “You are like a son to me”.

This confused me as the two parents were present in whatever non-physical state they occupy; the paternal identity lacking any form compared to the vague form of the Elohim (maternal). The Gatekeeper explained he alone among this group (besides myself) has had a human’s life. The two parental entities were here to administrate parenthood as they are part of a greater purpose. The Gatekeeper clarified they did not have the same sense of emotions that He and I have.

He explained that is why my experiences were important to them – so They acquire greater understanding of the human – through me. As an aside other Elohim have explained to me that there is greater affinity among Elohim who have had human lives. That is why those particular individuals are easier to relate to, in contrast for example with the Intellect Engineers as I call them. Those creatures can be difficult to understand as they lack, or do not present, any feelings at all.

The Gatekeeper continued to explain, “Your experiences have taught you things that are needed for greater purpose as the Shepherds desire to address greater issues”. He went on, “Your life was put through many difficulties and these were used to help shape you”. At this point the Gatekeeper hugged me. Then Raphael, Friend, and my entity parents drew closer and as a group we resided or huddled together closely. There was a bright light far above us that was shining down on our small circle.

The Gatekeeper and Raphael drew closer yet as the Gatekeeper continued to explain, “Without the challenges you’ve had you would not have developed your empathy for the suffering of others as you have. This is what bonds you to Raphael and is one reason why he is with you”.

At this time I gained a vague insight into the role of Friend tho he is nearly incomprehensible. I understood he watches over and protects some sort of etherial family-line that exists outside Earth; not a physical family line. Since I had this audience I brought up my friend who was dying of pancreatic cancer. The Gatekeeper responded, “We are aware of this. Do not worry…. There are many here waiting for him”.

I was satisfied with the explanations and found them to be reassuring. I was also reminded to go to TMI, that my skills may develop. As we were together in our small huddle I could feel the warmth of feeling among us; specifically that which the Gatekeeper and I felt but I also apprehended some nuance of something like a feeling from the more abstracted entities. I strongly felt camaraderie or affiliation with Raphael. It was all very moving and quite powerful.

February 22, 2015

In January I went to TMI for the Gateway course. These February notes follow my return from that course.

Focus 21

I entered this session not knowing what to expect or pursue. My intention was to seek an encounter with the Elohim⁵ in F21 as was suggested to me in recent contacts, but after this session I didn’t understand what all these experiences were about and was quite upset. Here’s the story:

In recent weeks an angel has been appearing consistently in focus 12 whenever I was preparing to go to F21. In this particular session, when I was ready to go, this angel accompanied me to F21.

Transitioning to F21 took awhile. In time I caught a glint of the lamppost area’s imagery and focused on that. I stopped just outside the lit area to allow my perceptions to consolidate. After a moment I entered the area and vaguely perceived the Gatekeeper sitting on the park bench waiting for me, so I went to sit with him.

At times there were flashes of hideous threatening shapes lunging at me from the Gatekeeper! I got up from the bench stepping back from him. There were other negative aggressive images which reminded me of a recent attack in F21.

Quickly I pulled out my energy bar ⁶ which again turned into a bright staff and I circumscribe a ring around myself that provided a cylindrical zone of isolation for me. I wondered what was wrong. I didn’t understand why I was called here and then to encounter this.

Suddenly Raphael appeared. I saw him walk into the lit area under the Lamppost. His form was also distorted and then he grabbed me to take me with him. He was quite distorted but I thought – let’s leave⁷. Then Raphael, the angel that was with me, and myself flew straight up at high speed … rocketing upward into the blackness. After a time I could make out Raphael and the angel more clearly and they looked free of any distortions. We traveled for awhile and again I wondered, where are we going?

I saw Raphael looking back at me as he pointed ahead. I peered into the darkness not able to see much but eventually I noticed again what looked like the green grassy place where we had all met before in a previous sessions. This image was like seeing a patch of green hovering in black space like a small island. As we were closer I saw the Gatekeeper waiting there.

When we arrived I walked up to the Gatekeeper (who I’ve come to call grandfather at times due to his stature) and gave him a hug. Raphael took up position to my right standing next to the Gatekeeper and then Ethereal (see: Meeting the Goddess Ethereal) appeared. She came to stand to my left, that is next to the Gatekeeper before me. I waited to learn why we were meeting.

Given the recent negative dark attacks I asked whether the Lamppost area was contaminated as it appeared occupied by dark things consistently now in recent sessions. The Gatekeeper did not specifically address this but in other subsequent sessions I was warned about this issue. That’s another story.

As I struggled w/ perceiving this trio it all puzzled me. I use to see better than this. It was so vague and I didn’t understand why we were meeting. Then Raphael put his hand on my shoulder I guess to reassure me regarding the confusion. The contact felt good but I didn’t understand what was the nature of this particular meeting. When it was time to leave I noticed the angel had turned to leave and so I turned to follow it back

Once I was back in focus 12 I noticed the angel’s presence was more solid, though it was still a bit vague, but solid enough. I wondered what would happen next and suddenly Raphael, the Gatekeeper, and Ethereal appeared to present themselves again now in focus-lever 12. I wondered why they were here? We were just together in F21, or wherever we were, why appear here too? Although their appearance was vague, they were definitely clearer for me in F12 then in F21 and this appearance was more accessible for me.

I understood they wished to discuss some matter with me but I couldn’t understand what it was they were saying. It was confusing. The Gatekeeper continued to repeat himself as if trying to explain something to me, “You are wounded too deeply”, he said.

I retorted, “What are you talking about”? He continued, “You have been injured too many times; this does not heal quickly”. Now I was quite alarmed. This whole thing seemed wrong. “What exactly are you trying to say”, I demanded? “The reason it (this) is not easy is you’ve been wounded too deeply”, he continued.

I became angry saying, “You know, there has been far too many times I began to trust, and there was NO help! How am I supposed to learn to trust any of you after a life-time of this? It’s easy in some etheric imaginary space to say trust you, but I need something that will reach through into MY real world and show me that you all can back up your talk! Why is that so hard?!”

And I began to wonder whether this meeting was also some form of another attack or lie. I wondered why would these entities appear and then seek to alarming me this way? But the Gatekeeper continued as if trying to get through to me, “It is your feelings that are deeply injured. There is knowledge and there are feelings; they are not the same. The feelings are also what let you know. It will be hard for you, because the feelings are deeply injured. It will take time for the healings to emerge⁸.

It all began to make sense to me, yet I had no idea why this message was delivered to me in this manner – and why now. Even then, all I could focus on was what are they actually saying?

The session narration was exiting; counting down to focus 10. I felt myself being dragged back yet I stayed in focus 12 looking at them incredulously calling back to them, “What are you saying?!” But I receive no answer.

Monday. Focus 12

Today I was upset to the point of being numb as I thought about what happened yesterday, so I used focus 12 to go talked with the Elohim about yesterday; my hope was They would explain.

I made a general hale to All, that I needed two things: an explanation about what happened and whether I should go to TMI for LifeLine. In the focus warm-up, even before the narration started, I heard Them say clearly, “We are here…” and I wondered.

Something inside me knew that it was Them. “We are here”, They reiterated, “…and we are always here for [with] you…”, as the mass of Their presence increased.

The narration was too distracting so I waited for that to finish. Then I began to explain to Them, “I need to know what happened yesterday. Was that an attack? I don’t understand why the Gatekeeper was saying those things. What was that all about”?!

There was a long pause and this concerned me because I thought – I believed, the Elohim were just here and now it seemed They were gone.

They can’t leave now. Then hardly a moment later They were present again and They asked me to wait a moment saying, “We are discussing…”.

I understood that the Elohim (plural-consciousness beings) were discussing among themselves how best to reply – as an individual might stop to think how best to say something. That’s how I understood the Elohim discussion going among Themselves.

An instant later They added, “We are debating…” and again I waited. And then They answered, “We wish to be clear in our explanation. You misunderstand the Gatekeeper. You are correct that there was an attack. You already realized part of the explanation today (Which was true; I did figure it) concerning questions you have. There is both knowing and feeling in understanding these matters. Your feelings have been injured. That makes some intuitions/notions more difficult. This, you are healing but it will take time”. I recognized in myself a strong sensitivity and very strong reactions to certain pointed issues.

They added, “We are available to you in your environment. You need only relax and be at peace and you may hear Us as you do now. There is nothing you should fear”.

There were additional clarifications that I cannot recall at this time. I was about to ask whether I should go to the Monroe Institute for this next course and before I could enunciate the thought They interrupted my thought saying, “YES. We do not wish to constrain you”.

I tried to ask about the vision I’m acquiring – of other places – as in the woods, the other night while walking down a rails-to-trails path I live near. They explained, “There are other places…”. But I found I couldn’t understand what They were saying; it seemed that didn’t matter as I felt relieved by our discussion and by the sense of peace present with Them.

133 hrs of hemi-sync

Monday 2/23/15 – Going to sleep.

These past weeks while going to sleep I commonly see in my dark bedroom with no lights on, and with eye-cover shades on. I can see myself as a very dark black void while my body is outlined; coronal glow. I can see my arms with something like wisps of energy draping over them. The room I perceive in shades of dark gray (sometimes a very faint element of very dark red, the blankets are black, etc. Often I see a light in my peripheral vision, but then last night I was able to see my body glowing white through the flannel sheet, with quilt over that, and the green fleece blanket over that, plus the gray light blanket on top of all that; my comfy piles of blankets – I could see through it all; my glowing body.

Gatekeeper notes continue in the Gatekeeper & Wizard collection. ( Collection: The Wizard and the Gatekeeper). It is best to read that after the Lifeline’s note.