Post Starlines II (Nov 2017-Dec 2017)

Getting Back from Starlines:

10/26/17

**

I realize however, I do know there is truth to the focus levels themselves, whatever they are. I mean, I’ve tested this. Something is there. So today I went to the Obelisk and work on my intentional targets. I can do that if nothing else.

Then I wondered if the Obelisk structure also exists in F42 as a harmonic similar to the City of Light’s F21-F42/F49 harmonics. Since I haven’t been doing any meditations, or anything lately, I thought to use the Starlines 2 take-home track for this attempt.

When I got to the Obelisk in F42, it ‘seemed (maybe)’ that I did make contact with the Obelisk itself, but I couldn’t reach or do anything with my targets. I called to Yurael, but got no reply. It was like there was a barrier and then I thought I must be too far removed from the ELS to do this; maybe I have to be in F21. I considered that to effect the physical systems in the ELS I can’t be this far removed – whatever distance ‘is’ – at least I can’t. So I decided to return to this work in F21, on behalf of the physical, later but now I thought, while I am here, I’d try and visit my suite at Alpha Squared (F42).

When I arrive at my F42 mnemonic which is mounted on my suite’s door, I was surprised to find Tellaidian 1 standing next to me in the hallway. I turned and greeted him. Next, he surprised me. Rather then walking down the hallway to his conference room he said to me, “Let’s go in and talk”.

So I opened my suite door for him and offered he first enter. He walked past me into the suite. As I followed him in I was surprised by how much shorter he seemed to me now. I have always found he was shorter but I guess this was just more apparent to me for some reason.

Once inside he paused and turning around to face me he said, “Calm … You must be calm. Calm – tranquil as a cloud”, and I began to understand what he was telling me. “Let us assist you [at long range]?”, he asked. “Yes, I would welcome your assistance”, I said. Then he lead me to enter my calm as he commented, “Always the one for truth [you are]. Now stop – cease striving. Cease frustration with incompleteness”.

After a time of practicing calm with him Tellaidian added, “This [time of frustrate struggle] is an opportunity”. “An opportunity”, I asked incredulously? “Yes. To learn transcendence”, he explained. “To transcend what”, I asked? “To transcend the physical – to be both [physical and non-physical]”, he explained. I recognized the task tho I have no faith in myself to be able to do anything about this. It is impossible to be this with so much uncertainty.

[November] I can’t go back. This is too much to grasp. I just can’t face it now.

11/20/17 I haven’t seriously considered going back for awhile. Its just too hard to accept. What do I do with these thoughts? Why must my mind be crushed by this every moment of every damn day? But – today, for some unknown reason i felt that connection. I can feel it trying to turn me. I… I think I’m ready to try again, to keep going. And today I also saw clearly how to raise the energy to do it, knowing Tellaidian should be there to help. Is it faith I need?

The Formless: 11/22/2017

Yesterday and today I went back to my QiGong charging exercises. I haven’t done anything in weeks other than work at the obelisk. I don’t know that this will work but I charged yesterday and today I did two charging meditations. Then off-hand I wondered what would happen if I tried to go back now. Can I even do it anymore? It seems so far; so impossible; but I decided to go see what would happened. I really didn’t expect anything would come of this. I’m too rusty.

This session was long and detailed. I can’t bring it all this back:

At focus 12 I really didn’t haven’t much awareness but when I went to place my hand on my visual mnemonic for focus 15 access, which is an elevator’s control panel on which I press the button for the 15th floor, from behind me a women’s hand reached over mine and guided my hand to the controls. I felt and saw a women’s arm cradling my arm; again as if someone was behind me guiding the motion of my arm.

Then I knew at once it was Ethereal. She said nothing but I felt her as she embraced me from behind; welcoming me back. After I pressed the button she removed my hand from the controls and guided my hand to my chest as she held her hand over my hand covering my heart. I felt her there, and a moment later, she was gone as a wisp of cloud blown past me.

Proceeding through the levels nothing particularly happened. I stayed focused and came to my special place in F27 (SP27) which was dark inside. I walked in slowly and went to my window. I removed the cloth that covers my labradorite sphere and began accessing the Elohim’s energy conduit to charge the sphere and myself. To my surprise I found I was able to charge myself and the sphere to that of a bright white light as I did at Starlines II. I did one bounce to EC27 mostly because I wanted to be there and I left for F34/35.

In F34 it was blackness. There was no awareness at all. You didn’t really think this would work did you, I thought to myself, so I decided to go to V8 and charge the crystal there for whoever may be trying to use it. Again drawing upon the energy conduit, I charged that crystal to a white light and continued sustaining myself. After some moments I decided that was enough and left for Alpha Squared (AS). When I got to the station’s lobby I walked in slowly hoping to consolidate my dim perceptions. I greeted the receptionist and strolled into the main hall (Again, another creature that I am hard pressed to describe; not even going to try).

I went to the elevator function and used it just to enjoy being there. When I exited the lift at my level I looked toward Tellaidian’s conference room; lounge I guess one could call it. I saw it was busy inside. I didn’t know what to do; where I should go. As I was in no hurry I went to Tellaidian’s large conference room.

Walking down the two steps into the large lounge-like room I saw Tellaidian and wandered over next to him. I came to stand next to him on his right and said, “Master Tellaidian”, in a sort of formal greeting. He acknowledged me and I decided to quietly stand there and observe the activities. After a moment, although he seemed busy with others, Tellaidian turned to me and touching my arm he said, “Wait”, and so I continued to wait as he directed.

After a time, I don’t know how long, Tellaidian turned to me and said, “We go”. He led the way and I walked with him. It was as if we walked right through the space station wall into blackness. I kept my focus on him and in time I saw his crew. He didn’t need to direct me. I knew he led me here to join with his crew though I just couldn’t image what would actually happen. As I approached his crew I paused and greeted each one. I joined the circle with them. Before we started I took a moment to thank each one for whatever we were going to do. Then I looked into their minds and saw we were beginning. I readily joined energy with them with the intention of raising them as well. The circulating light started ringing through us as it had during Starlines 2.

Suddenly I saw something like a very high wall of black water, as if it was a large cliff looming before us in the distance, while failing to pour down. There was nothing but this immense wall of dark featureless water; on the order of a ten story building.

The crew instructed me to go up and as I did I found I could see that the wall was the beginning or edge of what looked to be a sea. As I raised up over this cliff of water, spanning out before me I saw a great body of dark black water; like looking out at the ocean. On its surface there was a myriad of small waves frolicking about as if in a gentle wind and there was a white light that reflected off the sparkling tops of the waves that were not yet whitecaps. It was like seeing a clear bright moonlight reflecting brilliantly off the surface of a black ocean as far as I could see into the distance, yet there was no moon. There was only this expanse of black sea with white light brightly illuminating the wave crests on its surface. I found I was drifting forward or drawn over this sea and I embarked over this sea toward an utterly black horizon.

The following conversation was lengthy, exhausting, and completely clear as I now tried to remember part of it.

As I traveled over this sea in time I crossed it and entered a region where there was no sea, only blackness. I wondered where I was and then I heard, “You are with us”. I asked, “Who am I with?” as the signal did not have the mind blowing presence as with the Ancients. They answered, “We serve the Ancients. You would consider us as facilitators”.  

I greeted them and ask, “Where am I”? “This is not a place, nor is it a state”, they explained. I was puzzled by what was left if this was neither a place nor a state and they relied, “You may consider this to be energy without form; the background – the foundation of all”. Thinking this was not Source itself I asked, “No forms? How can that be?” “Consider your notion of space”, they responded, “You have this notion, a form of an idea, yet there is no form of structure that you need to understand the notion – [or think] as [a] potential, that has not yet acted”. I began to get the idea – unformed potential, unformed energy.

They continued, “This is the origin of intentions … purpose. Here forms, intentions – purposes are conceived, enunciated, directed – the creative, the inspirational. That which is direction and motivation arises from here”. “Motivation comes from you?” I asked. “There are purposes we intend. That inspiration is carried forth [in the non-physical and physical]. Most all carry out our purpose motivated in ways not knowing why, nor is that needed to be known. There are others, that support our purpose that know the inspiration comes from this.

“Why am I here? How is it that ‘I’ would be in a place like this?” I asked. They explained further, “This is intended to allow you to understand, apprehend. This allows a greater range of purpose to be carried out – to be accomplished; to know and apprehend the inspiration of the Source [as you call it]. More is possible as one knows this”.

“Does that include to convince me?”, I bluntly asked. “It is both – to convince and not convince”, they ansered. I continued, “I don’t understand the purpose of that. How can one purposely intend opposing effects? I do not see how intending to convince and not convince me is a purpose to do anything”, to which they factually replied, “We did not say it is our intention to do either”, and I understood the specifics in nuance of what they were stating.

Over time I began to feel fatigued and had a repulsion to the place. I felt the need to leave but I force myself to stay. At times this repulsion was very strongly. Apparently knowing this they said to me, “It is not natural for you to be here given your form while there is no form [here]”.

I injected into the conversation, “I’m told my father is from here”, to which they replied, “Yes – [an Ancient]. The notion of you was conceived here. It is rare, but there are others … as you. You have been brought back”.

{The conversation had a great deal of clear detail as there appeared to be no limit in time needed to helping me understand. There was much use of nuance in phrasing to help me understand the notions, but I just can’t bring it all back. This is a fraction of the discussion}

There was one moment in the conversation I don’t remember when, that I wondered if some might consider where heaven is or is this heaven. To be clear t certainly would NOT be heaven to any created thing. I also considered briefly if some might wonder how [G]od fits into this but that word appeared to have no meaning whatsoever here. If one insisted on such terms perhaps this may be the residence of the first expressed will of God, again if one insisted on such terms.

After a time they announced, “You may leave now”. I thanked them but they retorted, “We do not need to be thanked. We do not need appreciation. There is nothing we need [or require from you]”. When I turned to leave I again saw the expanse of black sea before me; the sparkle of silver light dancing on the surface wavelets.

The return felt like an impossible distance, as there was no distance. I pressed hard; like the futile running in a dream that is insistently stuck in slow motion no matter how hard one may try to make headway. After some time of this I understood that I was only now embarking back toward the forms of the non-physical; here any distance to the physical was unthinkable.

Finally I dimly saw the edge of the sea and a faint spec of light in the distance that I guessed was Alpha Squared. I pressed on making slow progress and eventually came to the sea’s cliff-like edge. As I looked down I saw the crew but then for a moment it was like I was both looking down at the crew, and also one of the crew’s circle members looking back at the same instant (perhaps different points of view of the same thing).

Suddenly I was back with them. The light was gone in our circle and in time I left them and returned to Tellaidian. I felt utterly empty, completely blank. There was no emotion, no feeling; there was no thought other than getting back.

When I approached Tellaidian we looked at each other silently. I had no idea what to say or think. Then he and I turned and as we approached Alpha Squared I understood – we were still returning to greater forms of the non-physical. This too was painfully slow. As we were just about to enter the station I suddenly found we were standing together in his conference room among his other guests as if we have never left.

After recovering some of my whits, still feeling blank, I thanked Tellaidian and turned to leave his conference room. I headed up the steps to the hall and walked to the elevator. In some ways I felt I needed the structure of this place to help me reconsolidate.

Eventually I walked across the main lobby and exited onto the main apron of AS only to stop and view the stars and the Space. I stayed there for awhile wondering what does it all mean. What are these constructs?

When I got to V8 I withdrew my energy from the crystal and felt like I was beginning to recover; such a relief. I actually wasn’t sure how to return, feeling so abstracted. When I did returned to my SP in focus 27 I gripped the stone edge of the crack that fashions an open air window. I tried desperately to feel real; trying to pull myself back together again.

Next I forced myself thru the return mnemonics to get to F23 where I finally felt like I was becoming me. I passed thru 21 feeling better yet, but even exiting down from F12 to C1 I forcefully counted down every level 5, 4, 3, 2…. C1 and only just then did I feel the material form of my body; so very good to be back.

What does this mean? Why show me these things? The reader should understand: this has nothing to do with humans

{If the reader wonders about the woman encountered during Starlines 2, in a recent travel that I have not written about I did detect the women vaguely at my SP27 and I ignored her. I have not encountered her since. I did not write of that travel because it was a training effort and there was no other pertinent content to speak of}

November 24th 2017: Thoughts

Last night I found I am beginning to understand. There is a consistency in what has been said to me in my notes. That is – surprisingly clear at times.

But I ask, where is the joy in this? Where is the peace that one may have in the mist of all the stresses of acquiring this new frame of mind? I have not seen how that is obtained. Leave my life behind and come be with Them I am told. Well I have a physical life, whether I like it or not. So why say to me, leave your former life? And then I ask, leave it for what exactly? These dilemmas, contradictions – whatever they are just drive me nuts.

The Root – that is what Tellaidian called it and appropriately so. The Gatekeeper did plainly tell me of the Energy Domain; I had no idea what that meant until now.

I must ask Tellaidian what he studies.

The Tellaidian Discussion 11/29/17 (Three Rivers, NM)

I’ve been thinking recently that Tellaidian must have learned a lot from his studies into what he calls – The Root…access to the ancient. I wondered “if” I could get to him could I ask him this so I thought I’d use the hemi-sync as a boost.

When I arrive in focus 21 I placed my mnemonic in the ground as is my habit and a large strong hand took hold of my wrist. Looking at the powerful hand that had a grip on me I noticed a white leather wristband with fine embroidered beads and I understood this was the Sachem Ancestral Spirit.

When I looked up at him he gave me a strong hug, clutching me tightly. I did not understand his emotion in this. Why is he this way? Then he stepped back and looking at me squarely he slapped my on the side of my shoulder and then patted my on my upper chest as he seemed to be holding back some emotion. He appeared very glad I was there, but what does this mean? After we were together for some moments, I turned and left.

At my SP27 I spent considerable time charging with the Elohim’s creative force conduit and a second conduit that I rarely use (I primarily use the former conduit as it is harder to concentrate on the two and the Elohim’s conduit works well on its own). In time I left.

When I consolidated in F34/35 there was no awareness at all. It was all black. The narration directed me to charge V8 and so I simply pointed into the distance at V8 and charged it for others without going there. After that I proceeded to F42.

At Alpha Squared, entering the station’s lobby area I greeted the receptionist. The hall or lobby seemed bigger or I guess I just don’t look directly up that much when I’m there, but now I saw the many floors rising upward that encircle the main hall; again recognizing its size. Though it’s not necessary I went to the elevator.

When I got to my floor, exiting the lift, I looked to the right toward Tellaidian’s conference room or lounge and saw it was empty. Walking over to it I saw Tellaidian was alone and so I entered as I greeted him.

Then I immediately asked, “Master Tellaidian, may I ask you questions about your experience with The Root”? He answered brightly, “Come. Sit. Yes, I will tell you”. So I sat down on the long cushioned bench that outlines the inner wall of the lounge and then I was surprise to see Tellaidian lie down on the floor like a dog! I was astonished. He is short, perhaps shoulder height on me, but I’ve forgotten he is also long. I never thought about it. Does he have 4 legs in addition to the two arms, or what?IMG_0477 But there he was, lying on the floor as a dog would with his robe draped over himself. His arms were folded comfortably in front of him as he looked at me with his long face.

Briefly I took a closer look at the empty conference/lounge area and commented to him, “Master, you have a wonderful room”. “It is not mine”, he replied. “They let me use it”, he added with maybe some sense of humor implied. I’m not sure how to interpret his expressions and nuances. But as we sat there, it was just so good to be there sitting with him. We didn’t have to go anywhere. We could just sit there undisturbed, and so I ask, “Telladian, what have you learned from your studies here”?

“I’ve come to know my essence”, he promptly answered. “How long have you been studying this?” I asked and he explained, “I started very young. I knew something called me. It is unusual for my position (perhaps he was not of the right class), but when I had opportunity to study this I choose this path with greatly excited (and at some personal cost I sensed, but I’m not sure)”.

As I wanted to understand and verify what he does here with his visitors I asked, “Those that come here (to this conference area), they come here to work with you? Is that correct?” “They come with the hope of perhaps just beginning to feel it”, he answered.

“What is this place we use (for the joined ring)? How does it work?”, I thought to ask. “It is a place and it is in this galaxy. It is a space with unique properties”, he explained. Instantly I thought out-loud, “The Fountain”? To which he replied, “Yes. You know it”.

As I recalled it I began to tell him, “I remember I have seen it. The Elohim who says she is my mother took me to see it once. There were many of us walking together; as if arriving from various places. They were gathering to witness it; an event of great importance (6/19/2015). All I understood at the time was that it was as a fountain from the Source – a fire; a fountain of energy as a natural occurrence.

You use this energy for the joined ring?” To which Tellaidian simply replied, “That place is powerful”. I continued, “If that place is in the galaxy, then where is it we go when we use it”? He replied in a whisper, “We both know it is not a where“. “Yes”, I answered.

Curious about what he teaches I asked, “How are your students doing with this? It is a great thing to know”. Then as if assessing he said, “They all are nearly beginners – but you – are my best student”.

I was taken off-guard, “I am? How can that possibly be?” Then appearing to speak quite factually he answer saying, “It is your capabilities”, but I retorted, “What capabilities? I can hardly be here. What capability do I have”?

He directly answered, “You – can see”. Incredulously I countered, “Well I don’t seem to see too much as far as I can tell”, but Tellaidian rejected my statements, “No. You exceed even me”.

I continued, “Tellaidian, how can that possibly be? I’ve hardly been here”. Then he added, “I have spent my lifetime studying the Root; seeking to be there – to understand mysteries – but that is your birthplace! They speak to you!” Puzzled I ask, “Don’t they talk to you when you are there?” “No!”, he replied and he added, “It is profound, yes but they do not speak to me as they speak to you. “The Wise One [you call It] – that one also speaks to you!”

“I just can’t. I can’t see this as possible”, I objected. “I don’t understand. I really do not do these things myself. Me? I have no profound capability. I cannot believe this is true.”

“You should not judge [assess] yourself that way”, Tellaidian stated strongly, They clearly do not judge you. They welcome YOU”! “It is too hard to accept. I just cannot believe this”, I argued but then Tellaidian added, “That is also not a flaw [as you think]. That is your strength!”, and I wondered at what he said.

Seeking to change the subject I asked, “Do you join the circle”? “No longer”, he answered, “That is now always in me. I am always part of the circle – without joining”. I thought to ask, “Why do I see [ocean-like] waves, or water when I’m joined in the circle”? Tellaidian explained, “What expresses wonder to you (your world), that expanse, the depths, its mystery, to be in awe of it; that is the presented form; how you apprehend those characteristics… It is a form you can recognize. That [thought-]object is the presentation of the nature of it that is most comprehensible to you”. “So I see it as the ocean”, I asked? “Yes, but then – you – are able to go beyond that!”

“Come walk”, he said and getting up we walked out to the balcony overlooking the main lobby below. Pausing he said, “You see all those (those in the main hall below us). They came here for a reason, perhaps to meet others, who may also have come here for their own reasons. Each comes from a place that has reasons of its own. Many reasons are represented there among just these. But, all this is here as a result of something else; a purpose that brought all this into being – here. Their purpose – When you are with Them, ask, [and tell me] I would like to know.

From there we walked down the left balcony hallway to the observation room above the reception area. I stood there wondering what this was all about, and when I turned to look at Tellaidian I found he was already walking back to his conference room.

12/3/17.

I feel completely lost. Like my soul is marooned. What reality is it that am I living in?

Discussion w/ The Wise One (12/13/17)

I have been letting my skills fade, although in recent days I have been doing basic QiGong circulations for my own well being. The thought had crossed my mind to see if I could get back, but I put that thought out of my mind.

Today I realized I forgot to do my QiGong routine as the day was busy with various tasks and this evening I thought to go lie down and just breath; to not even do a meditation; no circulations – to just breath and relax. I need a break.

When I laid down I found energy clearly all around me as I have known it in the past. After just a few breaths, and given how strong the energy was, I decided to announced, “I am here. I am willing to listen to any that speak in truth free of deceit and guile.”

Then taking me by surprise I immediately heard, “We are here. Come”. I wondered to myself in this natural state how I should go and instantly they replied, “In any manner you choose.”

Feeling stuffy I got up and went to clear my sinuses; then getting some ear plugs and a blanket for my feet I went back to manual mediation without hemi-sync. I quickly recognized how rusty I was at my practice. I couldn’t decide where I should go so I eased out to F12. Once there I realized, or maybe I felt like, I was in F12 this whole time; when I was first doing my breathing

I was already connected to the state so I decided to go on to F21. When I place my mnemonic, I turned and saw the sachem spirit standing a short distance away. Now I saw his age, his very long gray hair, simple worn clothing – an old native man of the Earth. We said nothing and I wondered about this sight. I decided to go to my SP in F27 as it is home to me, so I left F21.

Arriving in 27 I found myself at my old Lifeline (course) soul-retrieval landing area and wondered why I was there. I couldn’t decide if I believed the large angel was there or not so I flew on strong breezes to my SP. Once there I paused standing on the large portico for awhile and then I went into my SP. I found my SP to be dark, cold, dusty as an old abandoned house. I walked past the crystal inclusion in the wall as I considered it for a moment and then proceeded to my favorite spot at my window.

I announced again, “I am here. I am willing to listen to those that speak truth with authority”. I began to access the Elohim’s creative force conduit and felt its connection. I was rusty at drawing its energy as I do that by lifting an extended arm palm out to draw its energy, but immediately the conduit’s light enveloped my hand as if swallowing it.

I thought that’s different as the sensation grew and the conduit’s light enveloped my whole arm. Then I found myself being drawing into the light. As I looked into this light I wondered if it was now acting as a portal so I allowed it to draw me in as I stepped full body into this bright light wondering where it would take me and instantly I found myself on the Great Hall 2‘s portico; the main level. I found two attendants looking at me. I greeted them and then one directed me to enter so I walked into the Hall’s dark interior.

Deeper inside the Hall I was aware that the Wise One was present and so I bowed and greeted Him. Then booming from the Hall’s depths I heard, “You must turn away from this argument [you have with Us]”. I answered, “I would gladly do so if I could but how can I know this is true? Why has that been too much to ask, to provide some signature that allows me to know that all this is the same root as the One who first called me? That One proved Himself. Why is this too much to ask”, I challenged?

“That will come in its time, but you must lay aside this argument”, the Wise One said but as speaking to me personally. I considered to myself that I do not know how to do this. What has really changed? Then the Wise One continued, “I will give you clarity. Come and be with Me here”. I considered this wasn’t too much to ask; all I have to do is show up ‘if’ I can, but others have also said this before. Some Elohim once said I may come and be with Them, but I found I could not do it and I did not detect any help from Them in the matter.

As I thought this the Wise One reiterated saying, “Come. Come here to be with Me”. There was more to this discussion as I bantered around the sticking points. I can’t quite remember the exact phrasing of the elements but I did decide that I would at least try to comply.

I was gone a long time, and then felt it was time to leave. I remember turning around to leave the Hall. As I stepped out of the Hall’s dark interior approaching the entrance platform I was aware briefly of a brilliant image of the city, I next recognized the bright light illuminating the Hall’s portico area. I understood that was the portal back. The attendant directly me to return that way. I entered the light and immediately I was back in my body at C1 as if nothing had happened.

To Challenge an Attendant (12/14/17)

I went back as I was told. I decided I will see what comes of this. Still feeling rusting I decided to use hemi-sync as a boost. I moved through my mnemonics as usual but when I got to focus 34/35 I realized I took the wrong path to get to The City. For some moments I didn’t know how to get there from where I was and after some conflicted thoughts I decided to try and access my F42 mnemonic on the Green Wall and use that to get to the City of Light – I hoped.

However, when I tried to access that mnemonic I was not able to consolidate there. I focused on this for sometime but never could get into a settled state. Then suddenly I found I passed into and through the Wall, but it was unclear as to what state I was in. Was I in F21 or F42? It was different to me. It felt like I was in the City but it wasn’t as I’ve known it in the past; things were more ghost like.

Then someone, like as an apparition, appeared hovering over me on my left and it took my hand. The phantom seemed feminine and it pulled me by my hand dragging me through the air just above the ground. I wasn’t able to recognized the City as I have in the past but as I looked into the distance I saw looming over this view, as if seeing Mt Hood in the distance. It was the Great Hall appearing very high up over the City shrouded in clouds. I looked at it and wondered that I was seeming this view for the first time.

The apparition brought me to the transport area but I could not discern who was there. Everything was vague and confused, but I was aware of something allowing me onto the transport. I felt it begin to move and as we traveled it was like passing through a cold fog. I could see nothing about me but mist. It was as if I was on the bow’s deck of a large wooden ship. As it passed through the mists I began to pace the foredeck, if that’s what it was, waiting to arrive. After a time I felt a bump as if the ship – whatever – had lightly touched something solid. When I looked up I was aware of the landing area at the base of the immense staircase that ascends to the Hall.

I began climbing the steps which seemed to take a long time. When I finally got to the top level, stepping onto the entrance portico of the Great Hall, an attendant confronted me, “Have you cleansed yourself?”, it demanded to know. As I was in no mood for any banter with an attendant, I was about to challenge it asking what method it thought suitable when from within the dark depths of the Hall’s interior I head, “Let him pass”.

I enter the Hall which was more vague than before and as I was not yet willing to yield my argument I found myself in a confused state. Where was I? I was clearly aware that something was trying to reason with me about patience.

The whole event became vague and confused. As I was impatient with what struck me as games I seem to encounter I considered leaving. I can’t remember anything after that and later found myself back in C1.

Is it a New Way? (12/21/17)

Yesterday (12/20/17) I went to see the Wise One as invited. I went in manual meditation. I remember getting there, and part of our meeting vaguely now. I was in the Great Hall a long time. I was gone over an hour.

Today, the ability to feel my stones (large crystals) is coming back to me and I’ve found how to be calm. I think I understand. Things are clearer to me.

On Behalf of Tellaidian (12/23/17)

During my morning meditation outside after calling the Spirits as I sat I became aware of a called … but from who? It seemed to be the Ancients, but I glimpsed Tellaidian. I disregarded it as I don’t pay attention to just any thought that pops into my mind. Who knows where all these thoughts come?

After sometime I went back inside and felt this call again. I realized I haven’t been doing many travels for awhile; there isn’t much to search out if my basic questions won’t be settled but at this time I thought I’d be open to responding to this.

Later I went back into meditation w/o hemi-sync. I was rusty as usual now. I worked through my mnemonics and eventually came to F27; the details are incidental. In F27 I went to my SP27. Entering it, I found it was crowded, but by what. What was creating this crowded sense? I thought I detected Raphael, but what was all the rest? Whatever it was was beyond my perception, and I actually doubted Raphael was there; so easy to memory load.

I went to the window to begin my sling-shot maneuver and then Raphael came to stand next to me. This was vague, and as I only sensed Raphael somewhat I decided to stay focused on moving on as I was not sure he was actually there.

As I was getting ready to leave he said to me, “Don’t you want to know what I have to say”? Startled since I doubted his presence I replied, “Yes, of course”, and he continued, “Things are going well. Everything is on schedule”. I had some awareness as to what he was referring. Given that was all he offered after a moment I commenced my maneuver. I reached out to the energy conduit which seemed quite accessible and charged. I did more bounces than usual; to really have a grip on the energy, and sprung into F34/35.

I eventually went to F42 and arrived at my mnemonic on Alpha Squared. I found Tellaidian was there waiting for me. Together we began to walk to his conference area. As we strolled I focused on observing how he was walking. How many legs are under that long robe I wondered. When we came to his conference area I found one of his ring associates waiting there for us. He was looking right at me. Without direction from Tellaidian this individual turn as if to lead me away and together we left Tellaidian’s room suddenly appearing with the other two ring members.

After greeting them all, we joined and I was about to added energy to the circulation amongst us but that was snuffed out. Now rather than seeing the ring of light passing through us I saw each of us beginning to glow and then I saw a bright white light appearing in each of us; becoming ever brighter.

I wondered why the ring was working this way but then I saw an enormous wave like a tsunami. I saw it approaching and breaking, seeing it stretching far along a supposed coastline into the distance. This enormous wave approaching, cresting. I watched it as one great wave extending far into the distance. When it approached us I found I was suddenly – gone.

Where was I? I don’t know. I wondered who might be there unsure about how everything felt. Where am I? “[…Ancients…]”, was clearly enunciated but there was no conversation between us. I wondered why I was there but received no answer. I thought to just settle down and extend my awareness to Them should they wish to speak to me.

I stayed a long time somewhat struggling with why I was there as there was no discussion. After I thought I must be wrong about all this. It just didn’t make sense and as I was about to leave They commanded, “STAY”, and so I continued to wait.

Again I found I was waiting for a long time. I didn’t understand why I would be called here to this and then I saw an image of Tellaidian appear, which has never happened here before. In whatever place, state, or unformed energy this is, I perceived him as if he was wandering – in search of something – but he appeared to be unaware of us.

As I observed him I said to the Ancients, “Tellaidian desires to know your purpose. I understand he has not heard from you. He has spent most of his life coming here searching. Would you not speak to him”? “Yes. We will…”, was replied and They added, “We will tell him of futures”.

“And what of your purpose? He wishes to know that”, I replied. “[Expressed] creativity, but as to the purpose of the region you think (Alpha Squared) our purpose is greater integration; to bring more … into greater integration. This results in greater creativity; purpose and reasons [integrate [weave]] into greater creativity”, They explained.

As I contemplated what They said, happy that Tellaidian would hear from Them I turned my attention back to Them saying, “Thank you”, but They responded, “This is not needed. It was Our intention to do this, but you implemented the moment 3. We – thank you”.

Seeming both clear and unclear as to what the answers to all my possible questions may I waited to see what else They might say. But then They said, “You may leave now”.

Accepting what I was told, I turned and again saw the great black sea with white light reflected off the wave crests, but now I was not concerned with the distance or lack of form. It seemed natural to me, familiar, and moments later I was back with the ring.

I saw the glow of light fading from all of our torsos and after that I soon returned to the blackness of F34/35 without reentering the station. For awhile I was adrift and fussed with getting back to my SP27. After a few short moments I found myself back in my SP with my hands resting on the stone sill of my window. Raphael was still present. I stood there wondering what this was all about but I did not want to argue so I turned to leave rather than raise any of my pointed questions with Raphael. As I approached my door about to leave Raphael stopped me, saying, “The time is coming”, as if to reassure me but what does that mean to me anymore I considered – I’m tired.

I walked out through my SP door and as I stepped out onto the ledge that provides an approach to my SP a bright light appear before me. I was immersed in a peaceful rest. I stood there as the light enveloped me. Peace. Rest. Finally – here is a moment of it, and I stayed there just feeling the rest for a long time. Then the light began to move on and the sensation of it faded. I returned.

You Must Go Back (Dec 30th, 2017)

In recent days I’ve conducted occasional meditations to test my charging. All those meditations were complete duds – absolutely nothing. That’s ok. It helps one know better when something actually does happening. Then out of the blue yesterday morning led to a long clear contact.

I didn’t write anything about that at first because there just seems no point at times; its just more crazy. What can one say about it? But later today I thought I should at least write some notes in case some of this is found to be pertinent at some later time. This meditation was just over an hour.

What happened was I laid down to just relax since recent meditations were zeros and at this time I found I had considerable energy. I could feel it had considerable expansion. When I sense this I decided to go to focus 12 while having no particular intention in mind.

As I turned my awareness outward in F12 I relaxed into my usual blank slate poise to observing and weed out straight thoughts. And then there was a surprising moment.

Suddenly I was aware of Tellaidian. He was quite clear. As an aside, at times during the day I struggled with wondering if I was having moments of lucid clarity of something reaching out to me. Often I question whether that is what’s actually happening? Yet, clearly at times it has been.

At the time in meditation it was as if Tellaidian was calling me. He seemed quite jovial or something like that. He injected, “No. You must assert yourself!”, as if he was critiquing my use of passive observation in F12. It’s hard to know whether I intuit his moods correctly but it seemed he jovially added, “Come visit. You should come visit”. This was clearly telegraphed; his upbeat sense. Is this true? So I thought I should go over and visit with Tellaidian. I did understand what he meant though. He’s mention in the past I should assert myself more but that’s hard to do when one doesn’t know completely.

When I entered my SP27 Raphael was quite clear standing in the corner as has been his custom. Is that real? He definitely was clearer. He again said something to the effect, its coming very soon. Given that I proceeded with the bounce drawing energy from the conduit. I felt quite charged. On the way, I decided to spend sometime at Voyager 8 though I generally don’t have much interest in being there. For some fickle reason I thought I’d go.

I was surprised to see that both Instructor F and Instructor A were at V8. It was fairly clear. I would have liked to have email them and ask if they were really there. Did they see me? They appeared to be quite aware of me. I went on to charge the crystal to a large brilliant point of starlight. After that I began to phase to F42; the transition was quite clear. This was also interesting as I had a much stronger sense of materializing there.

When I consolidated in F42 at AS I went directly to Tellaidian’s conference room. As I enter I noted there were no other guests. I went and joined Tellaidian as he stood along side the large windows that trace the exterior wall of the large and long lounge area he has. I greeted him, “Master Tellaidian” and he retorted, “Always so formal you are”. Then together we slowly strolled along the long windows as we looked out into the stars.

I don’t really remember the sequence of our conversation and I don’t know how we got on the subject but I said to Tellaidian, “I don’t think I am interested in going back to the Ancients”. Tellaidian looked at me, maybe looking surprised, as he quickly objected, “You MUST go back”.

I continued, “I think I would still be interested in being with the Wise One. That One is more …. more specific I think”. Tellaidian appeared to consider what I said as as if he did understand what I was getting at, but then he again strongly insisted. “You MUST go back, and be with your own”. “They are my own?”, I questioned and then muttered, “I don’t know what all this is about”. In part I do, but on the other hand, really? Is all this actually possible?

Somehow we got on another subject: the idea that we were working in a thought-construct as Tellaidian has explained it. As if clarifying for me he said, “We are not here as you know. In the world of our thoughts we are meeting in a common place of mind. This is what all that come here do”. As he was clarifying the notion, that we are each at home in our physical place I asked him whether he could show me where he is now – telepathically.

Suddenly I saw, as though looking deep into his planet, a dark place. It was like an immense network of catacombs. I was seeing a small part of it and this was more like seeing an enormous volcanic cavity, of which the walls were lined by very large bubble-like voids, as those seen in scoria, but these were very large. I looked across the catacomb and noted numerous voids in the rock on the far side of this chasm, as if each one was a small alcove and seated in many of them was a creature that looked similar to Tellaidian in appearance. Each figure appeared to be in meditation.

I looked far below perhaps 100 foot down and saw something like a pedestrian area or road on which others appeared to be going about some activities. Then suddenly it was as if I was looking over Tellaidian’s shoulder and I was aware of his own personal sitting area. Then abruptly I was back.

We somehow got on the topic of the Ring as Tellaidian was explaining that what is basically happening is they are able to acquire and add energy to thoughts to strengthen them. Next we wandered out to be with his associates as if we were going to joined the ring, but now I saw something different.

His associates were no longer less significant figures compared to Tellaidian, as if mere associates. Now I recognized each one as more personified, clearer to me (definitely alien) and I understood that each of these three figures is an accomplished master; each one having studied and devoted himself to this energy/translation phenomena or whatever it is. I finally appreciated the stature of these individuals.

As we joined I began to raise energy with them, but then they directed me to stop and first observe them, and so I watch seeing how they were ramping up their own energy almost in hue, and I tried to mimic them. Then our energy really rocketed.

I saw the Ring amongst us blazed in brilliance. For some reason I looked into the center of the Ring amongst us and saw a powerful rush of light burst up through the center. It flowed upward before us and at first my body tingled from it but then it rang with energy – power. They called out to me, “Put your thought into the stream”, and I called out to the emergence, “I need to know this is true. What is delusion? Is this true?”

After a time we shutdown the Ring. I turned to Tellaidian as if inquiring what was the point of giving more energy to this thought as he answered, “Now the whole Universe knows you are asking”. In response I said, “I aways felt that my question was recognize at least locally. Then Tellaidian looking at me with his unusual long face said, “Now the question has gone beyond the local”, he replied.

I think this is all I care to write. That was mostly it, although there was more detail to the conversations and events.

I ask myself all the time, what is the key to obtaining the conviction this is actually true? It is beyond belief. It is too incredible a thing – that which is far beyond mortals, worlds, beyond galaxies, beyond physical creation itself. How could I possibly be apprehending something like this?


  1. See collected notes: Tales of Master Tellaidian 
  2. See collection notes The Wise One and the Ancients 
  3. The water in air can have a humidity of 800% with forming clouds. The moisture in the air needs some particle of dust or salt or pollen to provide a nucleation point allowing a drop of rain to precipitate from that point. Water also needs some impurity to nucleate the commencement of the formation of an ice crystal.