Post Starlines II (Nov 2017-Dec 2017)

Getting Back from Starlines:

10/26/17

d.

I realize however, I do know there is truth to the focus-levels themselves; whatever they are. I mean, I’ve tested this. Something is there, so today I went to the Obelisk and worked on my intentional targets. I can do that if nothing else.

I wondered if the Obelisk also exists in F42, as a higher harmonic; similar to the City of Light’s F21/F42 harmonics. Since I haven’t been doing any meditations or anything lately, I thought I’d use the Starlines 2 take-home hemi-sync track for this attempt.

When I got to the Obelisk in F42 it “seemed (maybe)” that I did make contact with the Obelisk itself but I couldn’t reach or do anything with my targets that are within the ELS. I called to Yurael and got no reply. It was like there was a barrier. I thought I must be too far removed from the ELS to do this, maybe I have to be in F21.

I guessed to effect the physical systems in the ELS I can’t be this far removed, at least I can’t, so I decided to return to my work in F21 later on behalf of the physical, but then I thought while I am here I would try to visit my suite at Alpha Squared (F42).

When I arrived at my F42 mnemonic, which is mounted on my suite’s door, I was surprised to find Tellaidian¹ standing next to me in the hallway. I turned to greet him and then he surprised me. Rather then walk down the hallway toward his conference room he said, “Let’s go in and talk”.

I opened my suite door for him and offered he first enter. He walked past me into the suite. As I followed him I was surprised by how much shorter he seemed now. I have always known he was short and thought maybe this was just more apparent to me now for some unknown reason.

Once inside he paused, then turning around to face me he said, “Calm… You must be calm! Calm – tranquil – as a cloud”, and I began to understand what he was telling me. “Let us assist you [at long range]”, he asked? “Yes. I would welcome your assistance”, I answered. Then he lead me into my calm as he commented, “Always the one for truth [you are]. Now stop. Cease striving. Cease frustration with incompleteness”.

After a time of practicing with him he added, “This [time of frustrate struggle] is an opportunity”. “An opportunity”, I asked incredulously? “Yes. To learn transcendence”, he answered. “To transcend what“, I asked? “To transcend the physical; to be both [physical and non-physical]”, he explained. I recognized the task he explained to me but I have no faith in myself to be able to do anything about this. It is impossible to be this with so much uncertainty.

11/20/2017

I haven’t considered going back for awhile. Its just too hard to accept. What am I to do with these thoughts? Why must my mind be crushed by this every moment of every damn day? And then today, for some unknown reason, I felt that connection. I could feel it calling me. I guess I will have to try again and keep going.

Later today I also saw clearly how to raise the energy to do it and I remember Tellaidian would be there to help. Is it faith I need? Trust has been discussed over the years in these contacts but “faith” has never been requested nor even brought up; just trust.

The Formless: 11/22/2017

Yesterday and today I went back to my charging exercises. I haven’t done anything in weeks other than work at the obelisk. I don’t know this will work but I did two charging meditations. Then off-hand I wondered what would happen if I tried to go back now. Can I even do it anymore? It seems so far, so impossible.

I decided to go see what would happened. I really didn’t expect anything would come of this. I’m too rusty. But this session turned out to be long and detailed; too much detail to bring all of it back.

At focus 12 I really didn’t haven’t much awareness but when I went to place my hand on my visual mnemonic for focus 15, which is an elevator’s control panel on which I press the button for the 15th floor, from behind me a woman’s hand reached over mine and guided my hand to the controls. I felt and saw a woman’s arm cradling my arm, as if someone was behind me, guiding the motion of my arm.

Then I knew it was Ethereal. She said nothing but I felt her as she embraced me from behind, welcoming me back. When I pressed the button she removed my hand from the control and guided my hand to my chest as she held her hand over my hand, covering my heart. I could feel her there, and a moment later – she was gone; an iridescent wisp of cloud blown past me.

I progressed through the levels but nothing particular happened. I stayed focused and when I came to my special place in F27 (SP27) I found it was dark inside. I walked in slowly and went to my window. I removed the cloth that covers my labradorite sphere and began accessing the Elohim’s energy conduit to charge the sphere and myself. To my surprise I found I was able to charge myself and the sphere to that of a bright white light as I did at Starlines II. I did one bounce to EC27, mostly because I wanted to be there, and then I left for F34/35.

In F34 there was no awareness at all. I thought to myself, you really didn’t think this would work did you? I decided to go to V8 and charge the crystal there for whomever might try to use it. Again drawing upon the energy conduit I charged that crystal to a white light and continued sustaining myself. After some moments I decided that was enough and left for Alpha Squared (AS42).

When I got to the station’s lobby I slowly entered hoping to consolidate my dim perceptions. I greeted the receptionist and strolled into the main hall. Again, another creature that I am hard pressed to describe; not even going to try.

I went to the elevator function and used it just to enjoy being there. When I exited the lift at my level I looked toward Tellaidian’s conference room. I guess one could call it a lounge. The room is too comfortable of a group meeting area to be considered a “conference room”. I saw it was busy inside. I didn’t know what to do or where I should go. As I was in no hurry I decided to go to Tellaidian’s lounge/conference room.

Walking down the two steps into the large lounge-like room I saw Tellaidian and wandered over next to him. I stood on his right and said, “Master Tellaidian”, in a sort of formal greeting. He acknowledged me. I decided to stand there and quietly observing the activities as there were many visitors there.

After a moment, although Tellaidian seemed busy with the others, he turned to me and touching my arm he said, “Wait”, and so I continued to wait as he directed.

After a time, I don’t know how long, Tellaidian turned to me and said, “We go”. He lead the way and I walked with him. It was as if we walked right through the space station wall into blackness. I kept my focus on him and in time I saw his associates. He didn’t need to direct me. I knew he lead me here to join his crew, as I call them. I couldn’t imagine what would happen.

As I approached his crew I paused and greeted each one. I joined the Ring with them. Before we started I took a moment to thank each one for whatever we were going to do. Then I looked into their minds and saw we were beginning. I readily joined energy with them, with the intention of raising their energy as well. The circulating light started ringing through us as it had during Starlines 2.

Suddenly I saw something like a very high wall of black water, as if it was a large cliff, black, looming before us in the distance; a wall of black sea that failed to pour down. There was nothing other than this immense wall of dark featureless water, on the order of a ten story building in height.

The crew instructed me to go up and as I did I found I could see this wall of black water was the beginning, or was the edge of what was like a sea. As I ascended up over this cliff-like feature I saw the sea extended before me to the beyond; like looking out at an ocean.

On its surface there was a myriad of small wave-like shapes frolicking about as if in a gentle wind and there was a pure white light that reflected off the sparkling tops of the waves that were not yet the size of whitecaps. It was like seeing clear bright moonlight reflecting brilliantly off the surface of this black ocean as far as I could see into the distance, yet there was no moon. There was only this expanse with white light brightly illuminating the seeming wave crests on some surface. Then I found I was drifting forward, drawn over this sea toward an utterly black horizon.

The following conversation was lengthy, exhausting, and completely clear as I now tried to remember parts of it.

As I traveled over this sea-like feature, in time I found I crossed it and entered a region where there was no sea, only blackness – nothing. I wondered where I was and then I heard, “You are with us”.

I asked, “Who am I with?” as the signal did not have the mind blowing presence as the Ancients present. They answered, “We serve the Ancients. You would consider us as facilitators”.  

I greeted them and ask, “Where am I”? They explained, “This is not a place, nor is it a state”, I was puzzled by what was left if this was neither a place nor a state. They added, “You may consider this to be energy without form – the background – the foundation of all”.

Thinking this was not Source itself I asked, “No forms? How can that be?” They answered, “Consider your notion of space: You have this notion, a form of an idea, yet there is no form of structure that you need to understand the notion – [or think it] as potential, that has not yet acted”. I began to get the idea; unformed potential, unformed energy.

They continued, “This is the origin of intentions… purpose. Here, forms, intentions – purposes are conceived, enunciated, directed – the Creative, the Inspirational. That which is direction and motivation arises from here”.

“Motivation comes from you” I asked? “There are purposes we intend. That inspiration is carried forth [in the non-physical and physical]. Most all carry out our purpose motivated in ways while not knowing why, nor is that needed to be known. There are others, that support our purpose, that know the inspiration comes from this.

“Why am I here? How is it that I would be in a place like this”, I asked? They explained, “This is intended to allow you to understand, to apprehend. This allows greater range of purpose to be carried out – to be accomplished – to know and apprehend the inspiration of the Source [as you call it]; more is possible as one knows this”.

“Does that include to convince me?”, I bluntly asked. “It is – both – to convince and not convince”, they answered. I continued, “I don’t understand the purpose of that. How can one purposely intend opposing effects? I do not see how intending to convince and not convince me is a purpose to do anything”, to which they factually replied, “We did not say it is our intention to do either”, and I understood the specifics in the nuance of what they stated

Over time I began to feel fatigued and had a repulsion to the place. I felt the need to leave but I force myself to stay. At times this repulsion was very strongly. Apparently knowing this they said to me, “It is not natural for you to be here given your form while there is no form [here]”.

I injected into the conversation, “I’m told my father is from here”, to which they replied, “Yes [an Ancient]. The notion of you was conceived here. It is rare, but there are others … as you. You have been brought back”.

{The conversation had a great deal of clear detail as there appeared to be no limit in the time needed to help me understand. There was much use of nuance in phrasing to help me understand the notions but I just can’t bring it all back in human terms. This is a fraction of the discussion}

There was one moment in the conversation, I don’t remember when, that I wondered if some might consider whether this was a heaven, but to be clear this certainly would NOT be heaven to any physically created thing. I considered briefly if some might wonder how [G]od fits into this but that word appeared to have no meaning whatsoever here. If one insists on such terms perhaps this may be the residence of the first expressed will of God; again if one insisted on such terms.

After a time they announced, “You may leave now”. I thanked them but they retorted, “We do not need to be thanked. We do not need appreciation. There is nothing we need [or require from you]”.

When I turned to leave I again saw the expanse of black sea before me; the sparkle of silver white light dancing on the surface wavelets. The return felt like an impossible distance, like there was no thing as distance. I pressed hard, like the futile running in a dream that is insistently stuck in slow motion no matter how hard one may try to make headway.

After some time of this I understood that I was only now embarking back toward the forms of the non-physical. Even here any distance to the physical was unthinkable.

Finally I dimly saw the far edge of the sea and a faint spec of light in the distance that I guessed was Alpha Squared. I pressed on making slow progress and eventually came to the sea’s cliff-like edge. As I looked down I saw the Ring crew, but then for a moment it was like I was both looking down at the crew and also one of the crew’s Ring members looking back up at the same instant (perhaps different points of view of the same thing).

Suddenly I was back with them. The light was gone in our circle and in time I left them and returned to Tellaidian. I felt utterly empty, completely blank. There was no emotion, no feeling. There was no thought other than that of getting back.

When I approached Tellaidian we looked at each other silently. I had no idea what to say or think. Then he and I turned and as we approached Alpha Squared I understood we were only now returning to more complex forms of the non-physical. This too was painfully slow. As we were just about to enter the station, I suddenly found we were standing together in his conference room among his other guests – as if we never left.

After recovering some of my whits, still feeling blank, I thanked Tellaidian and turned to leave his conference room. I headed up the steps of his lounge and walked to the elevator. In some ways I needed to feel the structure of this place to help me reconsolidate.

Eventually I walked across the main lobby exiting onto the main apron of AS only to stop, view the stars, and the Space. I stayed there for awhile wondering what it all meant. What are these constructs?

When I got to V8 I withdrew my energy from the crystal and felt like I was beginning to recover; such a relief. I actually wasn’t sure how to return, feeling so abstracted. When I did returned to my SP in focus 27 I gripped the stone edge of the crack that fashions my open air window. I tried desperately to feel real, trying to pull myself back together again.

Then I forced myself thru the return mnemonics to get to F23, where I finally felt like I was becoming me. I passed thru 21 and was feeling better, but even exiting down from F12 to C1 I forcefully counted down every level 5, 4, 3, 2…. C1 and only just then did I feel the material form of my body; so very good to be back after that.

What does this mean? Why show me these things?

{If the reader wonders about the woman encountered during Starlines 2, in a recent travel that I have not written about I did detect her vaguely at my SP27 but I ignored her. I have not encountered her since. I did not write of that travel because it was a training effort and there was no other pertinent content to speak of}

November 24th 2017: Thoughts

Last night I realized, I was beginning to understand. There is a consistency in what’s been said to me throughout my notes. That is – surprisingly clear at times.

But I ask, where is the joy in this? Where is the peace one may have in the mist of all the stresses of acquiring this new frame of mind? I have not seen how that is obtained.

Leave my life behind and come be with Them I am told. Well I have a physical life, whether I like it or not, so why say to me, leave your former life?

I ask, leave it for what exactly? These dilemmas, contradictions, mysteries, whatever they are, it all just – drives me nuts, or leaves me depressed. The Root – that is what Tellaidian called it and appropriately so.

The Gatekeeper did plainly tell me of the Energy Domain. I had no idea what that meant until now. I must ask Tellaidian what he studies.

The Tellaidian Discussion 11/29/17 (Three Rivers, NM)

Recently I’ve been thinking Tellaidian must have learned a lot from his studies in what he calls – The Root…access to the ancient. I wondered if I could get to AS42 and meet him him could I ask him about it? So today I thought I’d use hemi-sync as a boost and give it a try.

When I arrive in focus 21 I placed my mnemonic in the ground as is my habit and a strong hand took hold of my wrist. Looking at the powerful hand that had a grip on me I noticed a white leather wristband with fine embroidered beads and I understood this was the Sachem ancestral spirit. I looked up and saw him.

He gave me a strong hug; clutching me tightly. I didn’t understand his emotion in this encounter. Why is he this way?

Then he stepped back and looking at me squarely he slapped me on the side of my shoulder and then patted me on my upper chest. He seemed to be holding back some emotion. He appeared very glad I was there, but what does this mean? After we were together for some moments, I turned and left.

At my SP27 I spent considerable time charging with the Elohim’s creative force conduit and a second conduit that I rarely use (I primarily only use the former conduit as it is harder to concentrate on the two and the Elohim’s conduit works well on its own). In time I left.

When I consolidated in F34/35 there was no awareness at all. It was all black. The narration directed me to charge V8 and so I simply pointed into the distance at V8 and charged it for others. After that I proceeded to F42.

At Alpha Squared (AS42), entering the station’s lobby, I greeted the receptionist. The hall or lobby seemed bigger, or I just don’t look directly up that often when I’m here (there), but now I saw the many floors rising upward that encircle the main lobby, recognizing its size. Though it’s not necessary I went to the elevator function.

When I got to my floor and exited the lift, I looked right toward Tellaidian’s lounge and I saw it was empty. Walking over to it and looking inside, I saw Tellaidian was alone so I entered and I greeted him.

I immediately asked, “Master Tellaidian, may I ask you questions about your experience with The Root”? He answered brightly, “Come. Sit. Yes, I will tell you”. So I sat down on the long cushioned bench that lines the inner wall of the lounge but then I was surprise to see Tellaidian lie down on the floor like a dog!

I was astonished. He is short, perhaps shoulder height on me, but I’ve forgotten he is also long. I never thought about it. Does he have 4 legs in addition to the two arms, or what? Yet, there he was, lying on the floor as a dog would with his robe draped over himself. His arms were folded comfortably in front of him as he looked at me with his long face.

I took a closer look at the empty conference/lounge area and commented to him, “Master, you have a wonderful room”. “It is not mine”, he replied. “They let me use it”, he added with maybe some sense of humor implied. I’m not sure how to interpret his expressions and nuances but as we sat together it was just so good to be there sitting with him. We didn’t have to go anywhere. We could just sit there undisturbed and so I ask, “Telladian, what have you learned from your studies here”?

He answered promptly, “I’ve come to know my essence”. “How long have you been studying this?” I asked and he explained, “I started very young. I knew something called me. It is unusual for my position (perhaps he was not of the right class) but when I had opportunity to study this I choose this path with greatly excited (and at some personal cost I sensed but I’m not sure)”.

I wanted to understand what he does here with his visitors so I asked, “Those that come here (to this room), they come here to work with you? Is that correct?” “They come with the hope of perhaps just beginning to feel it”, he answered.

“What is this place we use (for the joined Ring)? How does it work?”, I asked. “It is a place and it is in this galaxy. It is a space with unique properties”, he explained. Instantly I reacted thinking out-loud saying, “The Fountain”? To which he replied, “Yes. You know it”.

As I recalled it I began to tell him, “I remember I have seen it. The Elohim who says she is my mother took me to see it once. There were many of us walking together, as if arriving from various places. They were gathering to witness it, an event of great importance I felt (6/19/2015). All I understood at that time was that it was as if a fountain from the Source – a fire – a fountain of energy as a natural occurrence.

You use this energy for the joined ring?” To which Tellaidian simply replied, “That place is powerful”. I continued, “If that place is in the galaxy, then where is it we go when we use it”? He replied in a whisper, “We both know it is not a where“. “Yes”, I answered.

Curious about what he teaches I asked, “How are your students doing with this? It is a great thing to know”. As if assessing he said, “They all are nearly beginners – but you – are my best student”.

I was taken off-guard and objected, “I am? How can that possibly be”? Then speaking quite factually he said, “It is your capabilities”. I retorted, “What capabilities? I can hardly get here! What capability do I have”?

He answered directly, “You – can see”. Incredulously I countered, “Well I don’t seem to see too much as far as I can tell”. Tellaidian rejected my statement, “No. You exceed even me”.

I continued, “Tellaidian, how can that possibly be? I’ve hardly been here”. He added, “I have spent my lifetime studying the Root, seeking to be there – to understand its mysteries but, that is your birthplace! They speak to you!”

Puzzled I ask, “Don’t they talk to you when you are there?” “No!”, he replied adding, “It is profound – yes, but they do not speak to me as they speak to you. “The Wise One [you call It] – that one also speaks to you!”

“I just can’t… I can’t see this as possible”, I objected. “I don’t understand. I really do not do these things myself. Me? I have no profound capability. I cannot believe this is true.”

“You should not judge [assess] yourself that way”, Tellaidian stated and strongly added, They clearly do not judge you. They welcome YOU”! I argued, “It is too hard to accept. I just cannot believe this”, but then Tellaidian asserted, “That is also not a flaw [as you think]. That is your strength!”, and I wondered at these things he was saying.

Seeking to change the subject I asked, “Do you join the circle”? “No longer”, he answered, “That is now always in me. I am always part of the circle without joining”.

I thought to ask, “Why do I see [ocean-like] waves or water when I’m joined in the circle”? Tellaidian explained, “What expresses wonder to you (your world), that expanse, those depths, its mystery, to be in awe of it – that is the presented form; how you apprehend those characteristics… It is a form you can recognize. That [thought-]object is the presentation of the nature of it that is most comprehensible to you”. “So I see it as an ocean”, I asked? “Yes, but then – you – are able to go beyond that!”

“Come walk”, he said. Getting up we walked out of his lounge to the hallway, overlooking the main lobby below. He paused and said, “You see all those (those in the main hall below us). They come here for a reason, perhaps to meet others, who may also have come here for their own reasons. Each comes from a place that has reasons of its own. Many reasons are represented there among just these. But, all this is here as a result of something else, a purpose that brought all this into being, here. Their purpose – When you are with Them, ask [and tell me, for] I would like to know.

From there we walked together down the left balcony hallway to the observation room above the reception area. I stood there wondering what all this was about and when I turned to look at Tellaidian I found he was already walking back to his conference room.

12/3/17

I feel completely lost, as if my soul is marooned. What reality is it I’m living in?

Discussion w/ The Wise One (12/13/17)

I’ve been letting my skills fade, although in recent days I have been doing basic QiGong circulations for my own well being. The thought had crossed my mind, whether I could get back, but I put that thought out of my mind.

Later today I realized I forgot to do my QiGong routine as the day was busy with various tasks so this evening I thought to go lie down and just breath; to not even do a meditation; no circulations; to just breath and relax. I need a break from all of this.

When I laid down I clearly found energy all around me, as I have known it in the past. After just a few breaths, and given how strong the energy was, I decided to announced, “I am here. I am willing to listen to any that speak in truth free of deceit and guile.”

Then taking me by surprise I immediately heard, “We are here. Come”. I wondered to myself, in this natural state how [what level], I should go [to], and instantly they replied, “In any manner you choose.”

Feeling stuffy I got up and went to clear my sinuses, then getting some ear plugs and a blanket for my feet I went back to manual mediation without hemi-sync. I quickly recognized how rusty I was in my practice. I couldn’t decide where I should go so I eased out to F12. Once there I realized, or maybe it felt like, I was in F12 this whole time; when I was first doing my breathing.

I decided to go on to F21. When I place my mnemonic I turned and saw the sachem spirit standing a short distance away. Now I saw his age; his very long gray hair, simple worn clothing – an old native man of the Earth. We said nothing and I wondered about this sight. I decided to go to my SP in F27 as it is home to me, so I left F21.

Arriving in 27 I found myself at my old Lifeline (course) soul-retrieval landing area and wondered why I was here. I couldn’t decide if I believed the large angel that I’ve met here before was there or not, so I flew on strong breezes to my SP. Once there I paused, standing on the large portico for awhile and then I went into my SP. I found my SP to be dark, cold, dusty as an old abandoned house. I walked past the crystal inclusion in the wall as I considered it for a moment and then proceeded to my favorite spot looking out my window.

I announced, “I am here. I am willing to listen to those that speak truth with authority”. I began to access the Elohim’s creative force conduit and felt its connection. I was rusty at drawing its energy. I do that by lifting an extended arm palm out to draw its energy, but immediately the conduit’s light enveloped my hand as if swallowing it.

I thought that’s different. The sensation grew and the conduit’s light enveloped my whole arm. I found myself being drawing into the light.

As I looked into this light I wondered if now it was acting as a portal so I allowed it to draw me in as I stepped full body into this bright light wondering where it would take me. Instantly I found myself on the Great Hall ²‘s portico; the main level of the Parthenon. I found two attendants looking at me. I greeted them and then one directed me to enter.

I walked into the Hall’s dark interior. As I ventured deeper inside the Hall I was aware that the Wise One was present, so I bowed and greeted Him.

Then booming from the Hall’s depths I heard, “You must turn away from this argument [you have with Us]”. I answered, “I would gladly do so if I could, but how can I know this is true? Why has that been too much to ask, to provide some signature that allows me to know that all this is the same root as the One who first called me? That One proved Himself. Why is this too much to ask”, I challenged?

“That will come in its time, but you must lay aside this argument”, the Wise One said, now as if speaking to me personally. I considered that I don’t know how to do this. What has really changed?

The Wise One continued, “I will give you clarity. Come and be with Me here”. I considered this wasn’t too much to ask, all I have to do is show up ‘if’ I can, but others have also said this before. Some Elohim once said I may come and be with Them, but I found I couldn’t do it (lack of ability) and I did not detect any help from Them in the matter.

As I thought this the Wise One reiterated saying, “Come. Come here to be with Me”. There was more to this discussion as I bantered around the sticking points. I can’t quite remember the exact phrasing of the elements but I did decide that I would at least try to comply.

I was gone a long time and felt it was time to leave. I remember turning around to leave the Hall, and as I stepped out of the Hall’s dark interior approaching the entrance platform I was aware briefly of a brilliant image of the city. I recognized the bright vertically oriented circle of light illuminating the Hall’s portico area. I understood that was the portal back. An attendant directly me to return that way. I entered the light, and immediately I was back in my body in C1 as if nothing had happened.

To Challenge an Attendant (12/14/17)

I went back as I was told. I decided I would see what comes of this. Still feeling rusting I decided to use hemi-sync as a boost. I moved through my mnemonics as usual but when I got to focus 34/35 I realized I took the wrong path to get to The City. For some moments I didn’t know how to get there from where I was and after some conflicted thoughts I decided to try and access my F42 mnemonic on the Green Wall and use that to get to the City of Light – I hoped.

However, when I tried to access that mnemonic I was not able to consolidate there. I focused on this for sometime but never could get into a settled state. Then suddenly I found I passed into and through the Wall.

It was unclear as to what state I was in. Was I in F21 or F42? This was different to me. It felt like I was in the City but it wasn’t as I’ve known it in the past; things were more ghost like.

Then someone, appearing as an apparition, hovered over me on my left and it took my hand. The phantom seemed feminine. It pulled me by my hand dragging me through the air just above the ground. I wasn’t able to recognized the City as I have in the past but as I looked into the distance I saw the Hall looming over this view, as if seeing Mt Hood in the distance. It was the Great Hall appearing very high up over the City shrouded in clouds. I looked at it and wondered that I was seeing this view for the first time.

The apparition brought me to the transport area but I couldn’t discern who was there. Everything was vague, confused.

I was aware of something allowing me onto the transport. I felt the transport begin to move. As we traveled it was like passing through a cold fog. I could see nothing about me but mist. It was as if I was on the bow’s deck of a large wooden ship but there was nothing there but this buoyant rising sensation. I passed through something like mists and began to pace back and forth, if that’s what it was; waiting to arrive.

After a time I felt a bump as if the transport – whatever – had lightly touched something solid. When I looked up I was aware of the landing area at the base of the immense staircase that ascends the Hall.

I began climbing the steps which seemed to take a long time. When I finally got to the top level, stepping onto the entrance portico of the Great Hall, an attendant confronted me, “Have you cleansed yourself?”, it demanded to know.

As I was in no mood for any banter with an attendant, I was about to challenge it asking what method it thought suitable, when from within the dark depths of the Hall’s interior I head, “Let him pass”.

I enter the Hall which was more vague than before and as I was not yet willing to yield my argument I found myself in a confused state. Where was I? I was clearly aware that something was trying to reason with me – about patience.

The whole event became more confused. But I was impatient, with what strikes me as games, so I considered leaving. I can’t remember anything after that and later found myself back in C1.

Is it a New Way? (12/21/17)

Yesterday (12/20/17) I went to see the Wise One as invited. I went in manual meditation. I remember getting there and part of our meeting vaguely now. I was in the Great Hall a long time. I was gone over an hour.

Today, the ability to feel my stones (large crystals) is coming back to me and I’ve found how to be calm. I think I understand. Things are clearer to me…. for the moment.

On Behalf of Tellaidian (12/23/17)

During my morning meditation outside, that is after calling the Spirits, as I sat listening I became aware of a call… but from who? It seemed to be the Ancients but I glimpsed Tellaidian. I disregarded this as I don’t pay attention to just any thought that pops into my mind. Who knows where all these thoughts come from?

After a time I went back inside and then felt this call again. I realized I haven’t been doing many travels for awhile; there isn’t much to search out if my basic questions won’t be settled, but at this time I thought I’d be open to this.

Later, I went back into meditation w/o hemi-sync. I was rusty as usual. I worked through my mnemonics and eventually came to F27; the details are incidental. In F27 I went to my SP27. Entering it, I found it was crowded, but by what. What was creating this crowded sense? I thought I detected Raphael but what was all the rest? Whatever it was it was beyond my perception, and I actually doubted Raphael was there; so easy to memory load.

I went to the window to begin my sling-shot maneuver and then Raphael came to stand next to me. This was vague, and as I only sensed Raphael somewhat I decided to stay focused on moving on, as I was not sure he was actually there.

As I was getting ready to leave he said to me, “Don’t you want to know what I have to say”? Startled since I doubted his presence I replied, “Yes, of course”, and he said, “Things are going well. Everything is on schedule”. I had some awareness as to what he was referring.

Given that was all he offered, after a moment I commenced my maneuver. I reached out to the energy conduit which seemed quite accessible and charged. I did more bounces than usual, to really have a grip on the energy, and then sprung into F34/35, so-to-speak.

I eventually went to F42 and arrived at Alpha Squared; consolidated at facing my mnemonic. Tellaidian was there waiting for me. We walked together to his lounge. As we strolled I focused on observing how he was walking. How many legs are under that long robe I wondered.

When we came to his conference area I found one of his ring associates waiting there for us. He was looking right at me. Without direction from Tellaidian this individual turn as if to lead me away and together we left Tellaidian’s room, suddenly appearing with the other two ring members.

After greeting them all, we joined and I was about to added energy to the circulation amongst us but that was snuffed out. Now rather than seeing the ring of light passing through us I saw each of us beginning to glow and then I saw a bright white light appearing in each of us, becoming ever brighter.

I wondered why the ring was working this way and then I saw an enormous wave, like a tsunami. I saw it approaching and breaking, seeing it stretching far along a supposed coastline into the distance. This enormous wave approached, cresting. I watched it as one great wave extending far into the distance, as it raced toward us. When it arrived at our position, suddenly I was – gone.

Where was I? I don’t know. I wondered who might be here, unsure about how everything felt. Where am I?

‘”[Ancients…]”, was clearly enunciated but there was no conversation between us. I wondered why I was there but received no answer. I thought to just settle down and extend my awareness to Them, should they wish to speak to me.

I stayed a long time struggling with why I was there when there was no discussion. After awhile I thought I must be wrong about this. It just didn’t make sense and as I was about to leave They commanded, “STAY”, and so I continued to wait.

Again I found I was doing nothing but waiting – a long time. I didn’t understand why I would be called here to this, and then I saw an image of Tellaidian appear, which has never happened here before. In whatever place, state, or unformed energy this is, I perceived him as if he was wandering – in search of something.

He appeared to be unaware of us. As I observed him I said to the Ancients, “Tellaidian desires to know your purpose. I understand he has not heard from you. He has spent most of his life coming here searching. Would you not speak to him”?

“Yes. We will…”, was replied. They added, “We will tell him of futures”. “And what of your purpose? He wishes to know that”, I continued.

“[Expressed] creativity, but as to the purpose of the region you think (Alpha Squared) our purpose is greater integration; to bring more… into greater integration. This results in greater creativity; purpose and reason [integrate [woven]] into greater creativity”, They explained.

As I contemplated what They said, happy that Tellaidian would hear from Them I turned my attention back to Them saying, “Thank you”, but They responded, “This is not needed. It was Our intention to do this, but you implemented the moment ³. We – thank you”.

Seeming both clear and unclear as to what the answers to all my possible questions may be, I waited to see what else They might say. But then They said, “You may leave now”.

Accepting what I was told, I turned and again saw the great black sea with white light reflected off the small wave crests. Now however, I was not concerned with the distance or lack of form. It seemed natural to me, familiar, and moments later I was back with the Ring. I saw the glow of light fading from all of our torsos and after that I returned to the blackness of F34/35 without reentering the station.

For awhile I was adrift and fussed with getting back to my SP27, but after a few short moments I found myself back in my SP with my hands resting on the stone sill of my window. Raphael was still present. I stood there wondering what all this was about but I did not want to argue so I turned to leave rather than raise any of my pointed questions with Raphael.

As I approached my door, about to leave, Raphael stopped me saying, “The time is coming”, as if to reassure me but what does that mean to me anymore I considered. I’m tired.

I walked out my SP door and as I stepped onto the ledge that provides an apron portico to my SP entrance, a bright light appear before me.

I was immersed in a peaceful rest. I stood there as the light enveloped me. Peace. Rest. Finally – here is a moment of it. I stayed there just feeling the rest for a long time. Then the light began to move on and the sensation of it faded. I returned.

You Must Go Back (Dec 30th, 2017)

In recent days I’ve done some occasional meditations to test my charging. All those meditations were complete duds – absolutely nothing. That’s ok. It helps one know better when something actually does happening; that which is faint. Then out of the blue yesterday morning’s meditation led to a long clear contact.

I didn’t write anything about that at first because there just seems no point at times; its just more crazy. What can I say about it? But later today I thought I should at least write down some notes in case any of this is found to be pertinent at some later time. This meditation was just over an hour.

What happened was I laid down to just relax since recent meditations were duds but at this time I found I had considerable energy. I could feel it . It had considerable expansion. Sensing this I decided to go to focus 12, while having no particular intention in mind.

As I turned my awareness outward in F12 I relaxed into my usual blank slate poise to observing and weed-out straight thoughts and then there was a surprising moment.

Suddenly I was aware of Tellaidian. He was quite clear. As an aside, at times during the day I had struggled with wondering if I was having moments of lucid clarity of something reaching out to me. I questioned whether that is what’s actually happening now; very clear at times it was.

At this time in my meditation it was as if Tellaidian was calling me. He seemed quite jovial or something like that. He injected, “No. You must assert yourself!”, as if he was critiquing my use of passive observation in F12.

It’s hard to know whether I intuit his moods correctly but it seemed he jovially added, “Come visit. You should come visit”. This was clearly telegraphed; his upbeat sense.

Is this true I wondered? I decided I should go over and visit Tellaidian. He has mentioned to me in the past I should assert myself more, but that’s hard to do when one doesn’t know completely.

On the way I entered my SP27. Raphael was clearly standing in the corner as has been his custom. Is that real I wondered? He definitely was clearer. He again said something to the effect, its coming very soon.

Given that I proceeded with the bounce drawing energy from the conduit. I felt quite charged. On the way, I decided to spend sometime at Voyager 8 though I generally don’t have much interest in being there. For some fickle reason this time I thought I’d go.

I charged the V8 crystal to a large brilliant point of starlight. After that I began to phase to F42; the transition was quite clear. This was also interesting, I had a much stronger sense of materializing. When I consolidated in F42 at AS I went directly to Tellaidian’s conference room.

As I enter I noticed there were no other guests. I went and joined Tellaidian as he stood along side the large windows that trace the exterior wall of the large and long lounge area he has.

I approached greeting him, “Master Tellaidian”. He retorted, “Always so formal you are”. We strolled slowly along the long windows as we looked out into the stars.

I don’t remember the sequence of our conversation and I don’t know how we got on the subject, but I said to Tellaidian, “I don’t think I am interested in going back to the Ancients”. Tellaidian looked at me, maybe looking surprised, as he quickly objected, “You MUST go back”.

I continued, “I think I would still be interested in being with the Wise One. That One is more – more specific I think”. Tellaidian appeared to be considering what I said as as if he understood what I was getting at, but then he again strongly insisted. “You MUST go back, and be with your own”.

“They are my own?”, I questioned and then muttered, “I don’t know what all this is about”. In part I do know, but on the other hand – really – is all this actually possible?

Somehow we got on another subject: the idea that we were working in a thought-construct as Tellaidian has explained it.

As if clarifying for me he said, “We are not here as you know. In the world of our thoughts we are meeting in a common place of mind. This, is what all those that come here do”. As he was clarifying the notion, that we are each at home in our physical place, I asked him whether he could show me where he is now, telepathically.

Suddenly I saw, as though looking deep into his planet, a dark place. It was like an immense network of subterranean chasms caverned on the opposing sides. I was seeing a small part of it and this was like seeing an enormous gorged volcanic cavity of which the walls were lined by very large bubble-like voids, as those seen in scoria, but these were very large.

I looked across the chasm, noting numerous voids in the rock on the far side of this, as if each one was a small alcove. Seated in many of them was a creature that looked similar to Tellaidian; figure appeared to be in meditation.

I looked far below, perhaps 100 foot down, and I saw something like a pedestrian area or road on which others appeared to be going about some activities. Then suddenly it was as if I was looking over Tellaidian’s shoulder and I was aware of his own personal sitting area. Then abruptly I was back.

We somehow got on the topic of the Ring as Tellaidian explained, what is basically happening is they are able to acquire and add energy to thoughts to strengthen them. Next we wandered out to be with his associates, as if we were going to joined the ring but now I saw something different.

His associates were no longer less significant figures compared to Tellaidian, as if mere associates. Now I recognized each one as more personified, clearer to me (definitely alien) and I understood each of these three figures was an accomplished master, each one having studied and devoted himself to this energy/translation phenomena or whatever it is. I finally appreciated the stature of these individuals.

As we joined I began to raise energy with them, but then they directed me to stop and first observe them, and so I watch seeing how they were ramping up their own energy almost in hue and I tried to mimic them. Then our energy really rocketed.

I saw the Ring amongst us blazed in brilliance. For some reason I looked into the center of the Ring amongst us and saw a powerful rush of light burst up through the center. It flowed upward before us and at first my body tingled from it, but then it rang with energy – power. They called out to me, “Put your thought into the stream”, and I called out to the emerging light, “I need to know this is true. What is delusion? Is this true?”

After a time we shutdown the Ring. I turned to Tellaidian inquiring what was the point of giving more energy to my thought. He answered, “Now the whole Universe knows you are asking”. I said, “I aways felt my question was recognized at least locally. Tellaidian looking at me with his unusual long face saying, “Now the question has gone beyond the local”.

I think this is all I care to write. That was mostly it, although there was more detail to the conversations and events.

I ask, what is the key to obtaining the conviction this is actually true? It is beyond belief. It is too incredible a thing – that which is far beyond mortals, worlds, beyond galaxies, beyond physical creation itself – that wishes to relate to me? How could I possibly be apprehending something like this?

To continue reading next notes set see: Acceptance (Jan 2018)