The Illuminating Light (Mar 2018-April 2018)

March 9th 2018

Went to AS in focus 42. As I arrived I immediately found Anosh w/ Atur standing very close to me, as if waiting for me. Anosh was about one foot away with Atur standing just behind her right shoulder. They invite me to their ship which was docked. I spent considerable time there examining its features.

Misc Training sessions are going nowhere. I accept that I will only focus on the blank slate meditation. One interesting event: I saw the Crystal Monument which was surrounded by a light hallow and went to it.

March 14th

I decided to go to AS (Alpha Squared space station) in focus 42 and meditate in my suite. When I got there I proceeded directly to my room and sat down. I decided I would work on my meditations there, here that is. After some minutes I clearly heard, “Company you accept”? I turned around to see Tellaidian standing in my doorway. “Yes! Come in Tellaidian. I am happy to see you”, I answered. He walked up to me from behind, as I was seated facing the window. He paused on my right saying, “More skilled you are becoming”.

As he walked around in front of me to my left I said, “Master Tellaidian I don’t think I am more skilled. I am ill tempered and quick to jump to conclusions – lacking self control. And, I am not calm as you directed. There is no skill in this”. He sat down next to me on my left and after a moment he said, “I will sit with you”. There we sat together as I considered the contact with him and as I periodically returned to meditation to be attune to his and any communication that may come along. I noticed I would get to a point of just being and switch to perceptions having a hard time maintaining a steady state of singular bi-focus in both modalities. I was getting the hang of it but I could not hold the steady state.

“You struggle”, Tellaidian commented. “Yes”, I answered and continued, “Being. Perceiving…. It is hard to just be, and then I also wonder about becoming”. “Yes! Becoming!”, he said as if commenting on some very important point.

After a time, as I was working on my focus, he reach out and placed his hand on my wrist. I wondered at that and then suddenly I saw a dark planet; as if I was in orbit above it on the night side – very dark. I looked and noticed a very faint hint of light on the limb of the body recognizing that the planet had almost no atmosphere but enough to just scatter some light. “My planet…”, Tellaidian said.

I sensed I was slowly approaching the limb and I noticed the light was increasing ever so slowly as the dark planet’s dawn approached. It was a thin sliver of light growing slowly with the lack of atmosphere. I watched this carefully and in time I began to see the first hints of the star that was illuminating this body. After several moments suddenly I saw the star itself. As I continued to drift I could view the whole star clearly and wondered about it. I no longer gave attention to the planet. As I looked at this star I recognized that much waited for this star’s light so that life could drink this in.

Then Tellaidian said to me, “For an individual to prosper, each one needs a light in their life”. “Yes”, I agreed and upon reflection I answered, “I understand that there is a tremendous light for me. So much; it is full of meaning, but then along with the strength of that I cannot escape the knowledge that there are contradiction; these trouble me”. “That is what you call… duality”, he answered and then it was as if he brought my attention to the fact that the starlight shining at the limb of the planet was only partially apparent at first, the whole, only being observed later. Understanding that I responded, “Yes it is the coming time for me when the Light is fully apparent that I look forward to”. After this he got up without saying anything and slowly walking across the room he left. I remained there and returned to my meditation.

Days later: Not doing many meditations anymore….

March 23, 2018

An Ancient calls me back. At the Great Hall an Ancient appears as a bright light (I meet the one that says he is my father). The Wise One to his right is something like a characteristic, of expression. I stayed with Them. I’m not going to try to write more.

March 24

Thought I should do a training meditation. Went to F21

I really didn’t expect anything but was surprised to meet the Gatekeeper who I have not been with in a long time. He drew me over to visit him at our old meeting place, the park bench under the street lamp in F21. Basically he said to me, “You must come back”.

March 31st, 2018

I’ve been doing a number of practice meditations lately trying to ‘get back’ but have not really made much progress. If I’m suppose to go back why is this so hard? I have been back to meet some contacts which I haven’t written about because the contacts were so faint. I don’t know what the truth of those encounters is. Today I thought to try to get to the Great Hall in the Elohim City. I doubted I could do this on my own but thought I would try. The discussion in this session was long and I’m not sure I can remember it all. There was also enough abstract nuance that I can’t put it all into words.

When I got to F21 things were very faint but I felt I was in F21. I saw two steps at my feet and stepped upward then noticing Yurael who I have not been able to see in a long time. I wondered if she was actually there. I informed her that I could barely detect her to which she said, “I am here to assist you – whenever you are here”. I wondered where Devenoir was and Yurael repeated saying to me, “I am here to assist you…here”, as if to clarify scope of mission. Thinking I was getting nowhere I returned to the task of looking for my passage to the Elohim City and found that Yurael was hovering above me on my right as if accompanying me. In time I saw an angel near my approach arra to the City and as I got closer I wondered if this might be Devenoir (I’m always glad to see him) but it was uncertain and then this angel directed me to continue.

I entered the forest boundary and was very happy to be here; I just love this place. There seemed to be a light over the treetops in the night-like sky. I continued and considered that this was the portal I’ve encountered in the past. When I got clear of the trees I was near the Green Wall and the circular light of the portal continued to dominate my attention. I presumed this meant I was suppose to access the City through the portal as I have in the past or maybe its always there; I’m not aware of it.

I wondered how to do this, deciding this was the way, and then while standing under the light trying to figure out how to get into it I found I was suddenly in the light and then just as suddenly I found myself on the portico of the Great Hall.

Standing on the portico, just outside the row of giant columns, I was able to look out upon the City; a beautiful brilliant place. I stood there for awhile wondering what to do and decided I would walk along the edge of the portico observing. Suddenly however, a women appeared to emerge from the Great Hall’s dark interior on my left. She was beautiful with rich black hair wearing an elegant flowing silk-like white gown having the appearance of a statuette-like Greek or Roman goddess. I did not think she was an attendant as she appear beyond them in authoritative stature. As she drew closer I turned to her and offered a slight bowed in greeting.

In hopes of some introduction I introduced myself and asked her what her purpose or role was so that I could understand her. Her reply was only, “I am here”. I repeated presenting this question in various ways but got the same answer as if what she said was all that was pertinent.

Then I asked why we were meeting to which she explained, “You are here. I am … here”. This was a bit frustrating so I tried a different tack of questioning: “Can you explain to me ‘what’ you are”? “I am – energy – is a word you understand”, answered. I added, “You appear human-like, can you explain to me what your form is”? “As I appear [to you]”, is all she would say.

As I felt I wasn’t getting anywhere trying to communicate with this entity I considered moving on, to continue walking along the portico looking at the City but then I thought to ask, “This Great Hall: is it a temple? I sense there is more to this place then simply being a large appearing structure. A parthenon”? To this all she said was, “As you perceive it”.

My thoughts again returned to the idea of walking along the portico as I wasn’t getting many insights from the cryptic yet factual discussion with this figure but then she directed me to follow her as she turned and walked back into the darkness of the Hall’s interior.

As she lead me into the depths of the Hall I began to recognize that this vast place was the same place I encountered during the Lifeline course (when I was told of the Great Recovery to come) and other early experiences I had that where prior to finding the Elohim City and meeting the Wise One.

I wondered about the purpose of this meeting and again pressed my question regarding her role or purpose or name. Now she stated, “I AM here – guiding you”. I wondered what I might learn from her if I pressed some questions so I said, “May I ask, I struggle with a conflict about these experiences; whether the constructs are valid… true – what the truth of this is”, outlining my conflicted thoughts to her. She paused and looking at me she said, “You have the understandings….. This will take time of your life”. Then she turned, resumed her walk, and again directed me to follow.

We walked deeper into the Hall and then I saw something like a fountain with a large bright pillar in it. As we got closer, the pillar looked like a column of light emerging, projecting upward, flowing up from within a basin-like construction; as if there was a pool of light in the basin with the column of light emerging upward from it. I looked at it and wondered.

Then She said to me, “This – you have seen before”. And I realized that she was correct. This appeared to be the fountain that the one who says she is my Elohim mother had taken me to see a couple years ago (6/19/2015). At that time I could only senseit, while seeing some surrounding, observing other Elohim that were coming to attend the event. I knew it, but could not exactly see it. Now I could clearly see it was there. I also recognized this pertained to the conversation Tellaidian and I had regarding what force powers the Ring that is formed by his three associates.

“This is as you have known it before (this place: a natural occurring supra-cosmic phenomena) but it is not the same as when you are with your friend (Tellaidian). This is Life – The Light – more pure than you encounter with that one (ie Tellaidian). This Light is that which Illuminates”, and I understood this Light is the light that illuminates the Twelve Pillars: the Complete Purpose and Intensions of the Ancients (F49) that was explained to me (see Starlines II notes). During Starlines it was explained this is what illuminates the Twelve Pillars creating the unique contrasts in purposes that appear as dualities for each individual pillar.

“I will guide you here”, she stated but then she suddenly disappeared and I was alone facing the fountain of light surging upward before me. I wondered about touching it but then an attendant appeared on my left saying “DO NOT TOUCH IT – unclean”. As I hesitated considering what that one said another attendant appeared on my right saying, “PROCEED – to know what transpires”. Now faced yet again by a contradiction I decided I would not have been brought here if I wasn’t to investigate, so I reach out into the Light.

When I touched the Light suddenly I saw the goddess-like figure standing inside the column of light rising before me and she directed me to enter with Her. As I stepped into the fountain of flowing light she took my hand and began to lead me. Now, from inside the Light, rather than appearing as a localized column of light I saw that there was no limit or confinement in the spatial extent of this Light while we were in it. We proceeded forward in this Light.

After a short time we stopped and this entity directed me to look outward. As if standing on an overlook I looked outward and saw a huge panoramic view. Then She said, “This is the Light, Life – all the Universes (noting she spoke in the plural). You may find the answers to your questions here”.

I asked her again what her purpose was. “I AM… the presence of the Light”. It then struck me to ask, “Are you one of Ancients”? “Consider me a feminine property”, she answered. “I understand the Wise One, [as] an [expression] [attribute] of the Ancients. Are you a property [of the Ancients]”, I asked. “I AM the Presence; as you say an attribute – [the] present [presence] existence [of the Light]” I was confused as to what this meant though part of me completely understood who and what she was, and then She repeated, “Here, the answers reside to your questions. Turn to this”1.

I looked out as she directed me wondering what this meant. How would I find answers here? What ‘is’ this; the underpinning and source of all? How do I inquire of this? Then after a time of seeking clarification of the nuances she was enunciating she turned and lead me back.

As we walked back through this Light in time I saw we were approaching the outer edge of the light in the fountain. We stepped through this and were back in the Hall. After a moment, she disappeared. Then I proceeded slowly to exit the Great Hall and found the light portal back. Entering the portal I was instantly returned to C1.

April 5th

Incredible 2 hr meditation training w crystals “Feel the Stones” I understand what I was being shown in the Great Hall and I understand who the woman was that took me to the Fountain. Incredible.

April 6th 1 hr meditation. Incredible

April 6th, 2018. The Presence of the Light.

Another meditation; only about 40 minutes long. Without a specific purpose, when I got to F21 I didn’t know where to go. Something compelled me to go to the Elohim City but I was resistant to what may be a whimsical thought. Then something insisted that that is my home, so I went.

Once through the Green Wall I did not know how to proceed so I stood there. No one arrived to guide me; how odd as its been explain to me there that generally someone is sent to meet visitors. Then I felt a force and asked it what it was. The response was simply, “I AM”. I felt this was the Great Hall’s goddess-like figure I had met a few days ago, but I could detect no form, only its’ presence. Then something seemed to take me and I found I was drifting forward as through a wispy-like vague darkness. I had no awareness of the City, but after a few moments I saw the fountain as I understood the accompanying presence conducted me to it.

We merged into the Light and then I was…. I was very far away, or very deep in, and I began to converse with …. what, who? It was the individual I met early but now its being was… this was contact with the ‘Presence’ of the Light – personified – I think is what I’d call it. We had an intricate conversation which may nuances. I have general recollection of the basic points, but it is difficult to put it into a coherent form, so I’m not going to even try and recreate it. It was so amazing, yet so very remote, that I’m not sure what I think of it. How do I think about something like this?

April 15th

I’ve been meditating and working with my stones a lot in recent weeks. The stones are quite strong, yet I have made no progress in getting back ‘there’ and I’m getting tired of this struggle. Is this one of the times when nothing happens so I really recognize the moment it does?

April 20th, 2018 – New Vision

As I made little progress beyond working w/ the stones for awhile I’ve lost interest in this strife. I guess it will happen when it happens; I’ve got other stuff to do. Then early this evening, I felt it – that light – I know. I recognized Them; I could feel Them.

I decided to dress up warm, get my camp chair, and go sit outside in the forest. There I first welcome all that are with me; those that trust4d, faithfully keep station, and sat down. As I sat outside I began to see the Great Hall as if looking at it from a great distance, while I could still see our reality. I sensed the Wise One there who said to me, “The time is at hand”.…. “We are sending others to assist you”. There were many subtle details I’m already forgetting.

I stood up to from my camp-chair looking forward in our reality while staring outward into their’s, finding this new experience’s perceptions dicey in terms of control. Then I was aware of my sister Hera and mother as they stood at the Great Hall.

“Come be with us”, They called out from across this distance. “I am willing to be with you”, I called back and opening my mind, offering it to them …. suddenly I found myself in their reality standing a few steps below them on the immense staircase of the Great Hall as my awareness of our reality diminished.

They welcomed me up to the portico level to be Them and Hera said to me, “Welcome brother”. I greeted Them and Hera said, “Come with me”. She turned and I began to walk with her into the dark interior of the Hall. We walked a short distance and then clearly I saw the Fountain of Light as before. There were others present at this time. I recognized them. These are similar to, or associated with, the one that refereed to herself as the ‘Presence’ that introduced me to the Light of this Fountain recently. I greeted Them saying, “Thank you for accepting me here”.

Then Hera said to me, “We use this for many purposes. You are familiar with how this has been harnessed by those associated with you – those that took you beyond. We will familiarize you with other uses and assist you with this”.

There was considerably more to this but these are the main points of the first portion of the visit; what I saw. I recall being directed to go back (indoors) and go into meditation, for us to continued our discussion. I recall wondering if there was someplace specific I should go but was then told I may do this anyway I wished, and so I went back inside, got a blanket and prepared for a standard meditation.

When I entered meditation and started settling into focus 10 Devenoir was immediately present. I greeted him warmly. As I was consolidating he stated that he would assist me. I moved into focus 12 becoming more settled in my awareness of him. Then he turned as if to lead me and I followed him, determined to stay with him. As we traveled forward in darkness I became suddenly and clearly aware of several angels on either side of us. Then Raphael arrived during our trajectory, an authoritative presence, but I kept my attention on Devenoir. He then paused our trajectory and we all regrouped together. As I wondered why we stopped I had the impression he was waiting for me to consolidate further. Then after a moment our whole group headed straight up (as in other times).

We went a short way and then I noticed the whole group was falling away from me as I found myself looking back down at them receding. I felt something take hold of me pulling me up. This was reminiscent of other times; loosing an angelic escort that was first acquired upon entering F23 and loosing them at the threshold of 24 as one is about to leave focus 23.

I found myself alone being drawn forward through nothing and soon saw my SP27, so I went to it. I entered it walking over to my favorite spot and noticed Raphael was clearly there. He stepped up to me placing his right hand on my left shoulder and I felt us rise but very soon Raphael disappeared and I found I was alone in an abyss when suddenly I heard, “Greetings”.

Instantly I knew it was the Wise One. I gladly offered a bow of appreciation returning the welcome; happy to be with him. For a time I struggled with the frustration that I could not perceive him but clearly recognized in myself that I knew his voice which is generally the case, since actually …. I have never really ‘seen’ Him.

After a moment He said to me, “I wish to show you something”, and suddenly I saw the Earth as if hanging in space. I understood we were there to discuss the Great Recovery. The Wise One continued, “The mission is commenced”, and as I looked toward His mind listening to him he showed me the Earth Council of Elohim2 as I had recently met them, but now it was as if seeing them from a distance.

“You will assist them [as they discussed with you] but you must keep your own council and judgement in this matter. You are correct; there are many other’s interests involved and this matter is far reaching”. I answered, “I’m not ready for this”, but the Wise One countered, “You are fully prepared. Bring all that may concern you to Us [for counsel]”.

“I’ll need your assistance; [please] impart your wisdom [for this task] to me. I do not know these matters [but] I trust you in this. I trust all at the Great Hall and the City. There are indeed many whose goodness I apprehend, [so I] thank you”. In reply the Wise One answered, “You should remember we are with you and we are active. We will send you help”.

Much I can’t remember

“May I ask… a question”? I asked. “Yes”, he said and I continued. “Is a ship coming to meet me”? “If it were not so the Minister (chamberlain) would not have said it”, He stated. I wondered at that. Then He spoke again, “You mind considers the Pleiadians”. In reply I offered, “It is as the Minister stated…. they are coming. They told me they would come to meet. I seem to know they will be a great help to me”. He added, “And you will be of great help to them”. I mutter as I looked back at the Earth, “I hope I may be help to many. There are so many cultures – competing powers”. In response the Wise One concluded, “[….they are] as dust before us”. I wondered.

“We will send another ship to signal you”, he then added (see June 9th, 2019 notes). “Thank you. I feel… the incompleteness. I don’t know – when I’m back there as I know here. The Ancients said I would know, but I do not have that”, I complained. “You’re form there is not able to know [as you desire], yet – you will know. You will see this begin, to recognized it. It will become apparent to you. We called you this way (now) so you would understand how this [communications] is [will be like]”.

We were together for a long time. I can’t recall all our conversation. Above are the main points.

  1. She is a property of the Light, not of the Ancients. 
  2. The Earth Council of Elohim (Feb 2018)