Into the Light (Aug 2018 to …)

No Science Fiction; No Fantasy; No Literature can Prepare One For What is There.

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(8/8/2018)

This mediation took place a few nights ago. I wasn’t going to write anything down about it because the experience was just too incredible. I can’t explain it. I was gone something like 90 minutes to two hours. The next day following that I wasn’t sure what I thought about the contact.

I should explain that I went into manual meditation only expecting to practice focus level mnemonic switching. I was in F12 for awhile; don’t recall now what happened there but something directed me, reminded me or inspired me, to go to F21 and work on my project at the Obelisk. I did that and then Those I Know were present. The contact was so highly abstract that I can only explained it in general terms.

At that time I was able to see more deeply into the nature of their plural mind – to be with All that includes Them. It was a new beginning in understanding for me; that is, what It is or what They are. I saw the continuity and completeness of All beyond that includes Those I Know. I recongnized the absence of discrete division in whatever arena They exist in. We had a general conversation that doesn’t come to mind at this time other then to welcome me with the usual, “You may be with us”, stuff.

I thought this was an introduction to the new phase I’m in, but who knows. I’ve found in recent days that I am calmer and I understand what’s going on better. At times in the encounter it was like … I was with a Light; looking into it. I understood part of the anatomy of the Light in terms of a spectrum in non-phyiscal forms; apprehending how all Those I Know were present, residing in respective bandwidths or higher functions of purpose in which all These reside.

When I left … it was as if I knew what was going on, but the next day I asked myself, do I know that was true? I have been assured many times that when they actually speak I will know, and that has been true in the past I’ve found. So do I truly know – now? I don’t know. It’s hard to be sure as I am heavily front loaded with this mythology. However, it did happen and it was quite remarkable.

These signals are so faint, I just don’t know what to think of them most of the time. Why? Why removed my strength of perception to keep me on Earth only to besiege me with perceptions I can no longer confidently distinguish? I use to know what was a memory-load or a front-load; what was authentic. Now I just can’t tell what the truth is of these very faint signals.

August 18th

No luck with meditations at all. It is impossible to get thru; absolutely nothing.

Then yesterday I did a manual meditation to pursue calmness. In F21 I did called to Those I Know – calling to The Ones Who Say I May Turn to Then – and I clearly and distinctly heard….”We are here”. I immediately recognized Them. I knew it was Them; recognizing that voice from decades ago (the EMA). Yet, all they would say to me was, “Wait”. There was however, a strength in that very brief contact that I can not ignore. It was clear.

I’ve been treating my C1 state as a meditation also; observing and critiquing every thought I have. I think I should focus on this. Then the other morning They were here, but we didn’t speak. Why? Why am I being run in circles with this? Or is it that I just am not able to accept the simplicity of this and go with that? That certainly seems to be part of it. I just cannot accept this as factual as if that capacity is missing in me. I see it. I recognized it. But ….

August 24th, 2018

The following is an experience I had a few nights ago. I couldn’t make myself write it down at first. I don’t know if it’s habit that makes me think I should write it down now, but here it is:

A couple of days ago I was thinking about how I’d like to get back to the Fountain of Light (see earlier notes). I’d like to know more about what that is since it is among the oldest things in the Universe. Getting there seems like wishful thinking as in recent times I can’t get back anywhere at all, or what I encounter is so faint that I just don’t know what to think of it. What am I to think of faint meditations that are burned into my memory?

Later that day I felt a presence push into this reality. I took some time trying to decide whether I believed it actually was a solid contact as this contact didn’t have the commanding strength as earlier visits with me C1. They said it would be like this, but is this one of those contacts?

I sat down for awhile unwilling to go into meditation unless I was certain about this; carefully examining the moment’s presentation, trying to decide what I thought. Then quite clearly something said to me, “You wish to know of the Light”? And I decided then and there I was going.

In manual-meditation I proceeded through the levels without event that I recall. When I got to F21 I proceeded in the direction of the Green Wall but that too was very faint. I continued, presuming I was where I thought I was, but when I got to the Green Wall I found it was white, as I previously encounter the City of Light in F42-F49. I wondered about that for a moment. I thought to utilize the F42 mnemonic I previously made at the Wall for accessing F42 there, but then something strongly commanded me saying, “ENTER”.

That was different. I have encounter many things in the past that have ‘directed’ me but do so in a supportive manner. This was quite different. It was like being told what to do.

I passed through the Wall and detected nothing on the other side. I wondered what to do but then again something forcefully commanded me saying, “Come Here”, and I became abruptly aware of Great Hall where the Fountain of Light is located. Then suddenly I found myself in the Great Hall, in the proximity of The Fountain.

I could not see the Fountain but I seemed to know my location and I became aware of the group of goddess-like figures that I’ve seen here before. I gave all my effort to determining that they were there and counted at least three or four, no at least four maybe a fifth. I settled on figuring there were certainly four, maybe five figures there.

From previous visits I seemed to know they are associated with the Fountain but I know nothing else about these figures. These were the ones I greeted when Hera brought me here. I think they are subordinate to the One that first characterized herself to me as the Presence of the Light many weeks ago.

As I considered these individuals a figure approached on my right and I was conflicted. I did not know whether this approaching figure was the Presence but yet this goddess-like creature had a clear and commanding presence. In a forceful voice she said to me, “COME WITH ME”, as she turned and walked away into the darkness. I followed. She was a couple of steps ahead of me.

Then I saw her step into the Fountain and I followed. Once inside I saw she was waiting for me to enter and then she turned resuming her walk ahead of me into the darkness. I could apprehend nothing at all except this figure leading me.

As she lead the way I found the environment changed in an indescribable manner. It felt we were walking deeper into nothing. She continued to lead and I continued to follow her as we went deeper and deeper into what I can only call non-existence. It reminded me very much of a couple times with Tellaidian, when he would lead me into some strange abstracted space where it felt like we were nowhere; like there was nothing else – as if the existence of things didn’t matter at all wherever we were.

We eventually came to a standstill and I wondered what it was I was suppose to perceive as I apprehended absolutely nothing. I inquire of this figure, “Why are we here”? In a curt voice she retorted, “Your lesson”, and then she disappeared.

I continued to try to apprehend where in the world I was, or what state this is, but I apprehended nothing, no place, no feeling, no thought, no presence of any kind. I struggled for quite awhile with this lack of context or lack of existence; trying to detect anything.

After a time I called out to anything that might be present, “I don’t understand. I apprehend nothing. I apprehend nothing at all”, and then commanding figure suddenly appeared in front of me on my 11 o’clock and She said to me in a forceful blunt command, “LOOK AT ME”.

I turned all my attention on her; concentrating all my focus, and suddenly I found I was looking through a part of my mind I have never looked through before. In all my encounters or travels I have seen through this part of my mind. Such narrow focus, yet still I could only barely detect her. I became acutely aware of this distinct shift; this new part of my mind. The difference was clear to me but there was still more of nothing. I pondered this as I looked at her through a tight tunnel vision of my mind.

What am I suppose to learn from this I wonder. I struggled longer trying to apprehend her, not knowing clearly anything about who or what she was, and I was still not able to apprehend anything about this place. I struggled a long time. And then I decided …. I can’t go on with this. I don’t understand. What is this for? What am I suppose to understand? Why? What is it like this?

In this abyss I remembered the last time I tried to penetrate the meaning of this place; where the Presence of the Light told me I should turn to for my answers. It was like this then – impenetrable. How do I turn to this for answers?

After that – I had enough. I can’t do this anymore. I decided to leave. If no one will tell me the meaning of this or if this place will reveals nothing of its nature at all, then I am leaving. Is there any meaning to this or is it delusion? I turned away and left proceeding with an orderly exit.

Later back in C1 I wondered if the lesson was to access that new compartment of my mind but I don’t know. Who knows? Afterwards I was discouraged for a few days with the whole thing. The I Ching was right: a rising dark line. What is the point of this?

The weird thing is, after that … I began to understand I think – what it is. It is so impossible to grasp, yet I think I understand part of it now.

(40 minutes)

Sept 5th, 2018

I’ve become more determined to plow through this while not expecting any communication. I find I am more calm, more focused, more centered. I don’t know why other than in some sense I’ve chosen to be so.

Sept 15th, 2018

How many meditation attempts now and again They’ve all gone nowhere. Nothing; no contact at all. I am so tired.

ow I’m even sick and tired of C1. All the damn noise and confusion in this fucking world; the petty trivial tasks of daily life, the empty petty useless thoughts, but at least I find deep calm and tranquility in my large stones.

Sept 18, 2018 Learning to Trust

Long manual-meditation session … with Them. Later it dawned on me what the place of the Light is. The next time I can get back I have to stay. I am so rash.

October: During the weeks I continue to have insight into what the Light is. It’s like, I just understand now, but why is it I can’t get back? Then Devenoir was here!