Into The Dark (Nov ‘18-Jan ‘19)

October 31st, 2018. The time is up! The meeting with the Pleiadians that the chamberlain promised a year ago has not taken place. He promised it would occur in one year my time and I gave him until the end of October 2018; just over one year. He has lied to me.

Wasn’t I right to not trust him and wasn’t I warned? Yes I did correctly suspected him and it was a good thing the Wizard was present when the minister made his statement (Starlines II) because it was the Wizard who directed me to make the chamberlain specify a time. I might not have thought to ask and so catch this falsehood without that assistance.

{The weird thing is that night I was in deep rural New Mexico and something hovered right over my RV roof making a sound I have never heard before in my whole life. It left and soon I heard two very low aircraft buzz by overhead quickly (prop sound but not like helicopters). I dismissed that as I was so tired (late night) I wasn’t sure what that was I heard other the first sound (2018).

Updating this several months later (April 2019) I was back at this same site. I just put away my telescope gear and wide awake I heard one prop-aircraft buzz over very low but not a helicopter. It was the same sound as the previous year; unmistakable. This location is in the mountains below 8,500 ft; a network of shallow valleys. Not just any aircraft can fly that low through here in these mountains and not just any pilot could do it at night. It would have to be some military craft.

Additional update note November 2019. Back in same location, I saw a C130 flying low just over the mountains here; guess that’s proof enough the military is in this airspace. A couple days later I asked a forest ranger if the military does exercises here. He state the Osprey aircraft is flow thru here on night training.

November 11th, 2018

There are some facts – things that have demonstratively ‘happened’. I have the evidence notes and Tellaidian did indeed speak correctly – that in my astronomical knowledge I did not know about red dwarfs – that was true. And wasn’t Veronica true?

How many times did I state I was only willing to listen to those that spoke truly, free of deception or guile? Yet a deception was allowed, by those who did proved themselves beyond doubt or question that 40 years ago. Why ask anything of me at all? I guess the affirmations mean crap.

And now I wonder, when I last met Anosh (July 12th, 2018) I turned away from her when she would not explain her relationship to the Old Ones or discuss the coming meeting. I thought then that she was false and turned away from her thinking I front-loaded the whole experiences, but maybe she didn’t reply because she had no idea what I was talking about, caught off-guard and confused by my question? Could that be why she did not reply? And earlier on January 10th, 2018 when I asked both Atur and Anosh about coming this year, the strange look they both gave me, was that also because they had no idea what I was talking about?

Everything now is open to re-evaluation. What is true, or which parts are true? The worst part of all this is that the Wise One endorsed the minister/chamberlain’s words. How can that possibly be? That One I trusted the most. How can anything false be found in wisdom?

11/20/18. I haven’t been able to get through at all for about a month to press my questions so I’ve started a project. I decided I would gather energy for 10 days and force my way through to get the answers.

Day 5 (11/25/2018)

For days, actually weeks now, I’ve been getting absolutely nowhere trying to find out how it is possible that the Wise One would have any falsehood at all – absolutely zero luck in all sessions. I’ve always known not to blindly trust the Elohim and then today in an earlier meditation I realized that I should be more forcefully with my contact attempts. I recalled sometime ago that Tellaidian once told me not be so passive, so after a couple of charging session today and others the previous five days I decided to force my way.

In my mediation later this day rather then focusing on my mnemonics to access the focus levels I focused on concentrating my energy, willfully concentrating on where I wanted to be, only occasionally referencing a mnemonic.

When I got to F21 I stayed there for awhile concentrating strongly on consolidating. After that I pushed through 23 to 27 and once in F27 I paused again to consolidate – determined. I was surprised to find this seemed to actually be working so I decided to find Tellaidian though at times I was daunted by the knowledge that he is lightyears away. That doubt hampered my determination.

Eventually I got to F34 and then I started to really focus on contacting Tellaidian, but would this actually work I wondered. All I could think of was I must concentrate on him as strongly and as clearly as possible hoping he would notice me. I maintained this and then began to detect him somewhat. I continued to maintain this forceful willing posture as I went to F42 and there I was then able to maintain some form of contact with him – just barely. I felt far from him is how I would describe it.

After a time of trying to hold on to the connection with him suddenly I felt Anosh strongly pull my attention. It was as strong and fast as having someone suddenly physically grab my arm spinning me 90 degrees, but I remained determined to stay with Tellaidian.

In a moment I found Tellaidian and we were together in his conference room but it was still a struggle to ‘be’ with him. The harder I tried the more I felt my body tense feeling its’ distraction but then Tellaidian reached out and rested his hand on my wrist. Instantly I was able to relax feeling assured he would maintain this contact and I consolidated with him.

After a brief moment Tellaidian suddenly got up, turned, and began to walk away. I immediately got up to followed him determined to stay focused on him. Soon he raised his left arm pointing and I looked to where he pointed recognizing his crew but in this case I was most clearly aware of one member of the ring team. This particular individual is always the one that I get the clearest apprehensions of its alien form, a distinctly different species than Tellaidian.

I joined with Tellaidian’s team, mostly aware of this one member that I could ‘see’. There was something like a brief flutter of energy is how I would describe it and then this one alien ring-member turned and it pointed outward directing my attention to the distance – to our upper left. As he directed my attention I saw something that looked like a funnel of light in black space. This looked very much like the entrance to what I call the concourse that Tellaidian had previously taken me to. At this time this structure looked like the same ‘thing’ but had enough differences that I knew this was not the same entrance as before.

As this alien figure continued to direct my attention I understood to turn my attention on that funnel of light, whatever it was, and I began to travel toward it. In a few moments I was at the entrance, standing in the light of this structure. I didn’t know what to do so I called out into it, “How can it be that any falsehood can be found in the Wise One? How can this possibly be”?

Then I saw the woman from the Great Hall, the one who first appeared to me during Lifelines to tell me about the Great Recovery. She is also the one that has appeared to discuss with me a few times at the Great Hall more recently. Now I saw her walking out of this structure toward me. When she was close and facing me I restated the problem but all she said was , “Patience”. Then she turned around and started walking back.

I didn’t know what to do. That’s all the answer I get? Discouraged I was about to turn back but as I looked back toward the alien with Tellaidian I ‘felt’ or ‘knew’ an encouragement from them to go pursue her so I turned around walking back into the structure after her and I became more insistent about my question. She stopped and turned around to face me but she faded as some other force stepped in.

“Who are you”, I asked? “How do I understand who you are”, I inquired? “We created you”, it stated. “I do not know you”, I replied unwilling to accept some platitude for an answer (wondering if they were the Intellect Engineers) and further complained, “I do not understand [about the falsehood]”. “That is correct. You do not understand”, it/they said, “Make no judgement concerning this for you do not understand – Be patient”, they said.

There was nothing else I could do but go back I realized as they added, “You know we are with you. We will contact you when the time comes. You ‘know’ we are able to do this so there is no concern. Go live your life. We will call when it is time”, is all they said.

When I eventually got back to C1 from the mediation I decided to hell w/ the rest of the ten days. This is all there is for an answer? All I can do is wait? Clearly there is nothing else for me here. Why did they start this whole thing at all? Why didn’t they just leave me alone?

Tue 11/27/18

Something I realized: Before, it was impossible to believe that this was all actually true; now, it is impossible to believe that it is not. How can that be? A delusion? A lie, or it it a falsehood in the duality? Why give me this paradox? Wisdom cannot produce falsehood or it is not wisdom (see entry Throughout May in: The Long Slog (Feb 2019 – Sept 2019). Why has it come to this? From confusion and perplexity comes clarity; from the decay of falsehood arises truth?

{Note: I’ve studied the sidereal times of my experiences and wrote about that in the Reference and Info Menu Section. That’s why one sees more data specified in notes}

December 28th

7:00PM (1:26 LST) Excellent Earth Shielding. Very low solar wind: 1.5 protons/cm3. Flares A2 – Zilch.

I’ve been doing some hemi-sync last couple of days to keep my mnemonics tuned and wondered what would happen if I pushed it again, so I did. I paused in F34 at the TMI V8 thought-construct. I haven’t given it a lot of thought but it occurred to me that there may be implicit facilitators there as a result of all TMI’s travelers passing through so I charge the crystal generator there (group energy sink) to a brilliant starlight for others and then went on to the Alpha Squared station.

As I was struggling with consolidating at my suite’s mnemonic I had anticipated going to Tellaidian’s lounge but as I was consolidating at my suite door I found it was translucent and I saw Tellaidian inside waiting for me. As I entered he looked at me and commented, “You struggle”. “Yes”, I replied. “Troubled”, he continued and again I answered, “…Yes”. Our contact drifted in and out as it seemed Tellaidian brought my attention the Memory Room door.

I looked at it thinking to myself, That thing? How often has it worked? Sure when it works it is absolutely something but why expect it to work when so many times it hasn’t? Then I had the impression Tellaidian insisted again directing my attention to the door so I went to it.

I picked up the door’s key off the windowsill and unlocking the door I went it. I sat in the chair thinking now what, and stated my question, “How can any falsehood be found in the Wise One or in any wisdom for that matter?”

Then I specifically called to those that spoke to me over 40 years ago, those that proved themselves, “I know you must be here somewhere”, as I pushed through hard. Then I heard, “We are here”. At moments this was a remarkable contact but also so very intangible. As I did recognized Them I said, “Who are you [really]?”. What are you?”

“You know Us,” they stated (flashes of previous encounters were shown to me as if reminding me). “Do I know you?” I asked, “I do not know the connection or difference between you and the Others though I do know at least that you are, but… what are you”? Again… all they would offer is “You [do] know … Us”, and I recognized in a way I do know, but I don’t understand what that is that I know; who is who, how to clearly apprehend what it is that I know; its’ incomprehensible. Could it be true what the Ancients said, “You will know‘? I guess I do know… I think, but is this more dualism to decipher; knowing – the not knowing, understanding – while not understanding?

Then They said, “You have also known the dark aspect from the beginning. You are not surprised it is still present”. Acknowledging that I added. “Yes, that is clear to me, but how to know who is who (among populations of plural-minded species)”, I retorted to which they again said, “YOU know Us”. How to understand this, to know what one knows. I’d stayed with Them as there was a reflection between us about the meaning, an impedance, of these words and their presence.

After a time I no longer tried to maintain any state nor did I try to return in any manner but eventually I discovered I was back in C1 wondering: What is it that I know? It is there, but I can’t grasp it. Why must it be so abstruse?


Comment: Ya know, after all that … going who knows where, reaching out to some non-physical un-formed energy, the supra-conscience beyond the cosmic whatever the hell it is – and THAT’S ALL THE EXPLANATION I GET? It’s too much to ask? That’s all? Well that’s fucked!


Slow slog: January 20, 2019 ~ 7:00PM. (2:56 LST)

Very Good EC Shielding. Moderate solar wind: 6.3 protons/cm3 Flares: A1

I haven’t tried to go back for awhile as it’s getting harder to make myself do it. This evening I went to F42 w/ no goal and certainly no expectation. Those I Know were there ever so faintly, so far – wherever remote place that is from here. I did get a bit more understanding. This is, this is what is suppose to be.

Ya know I wish I could get back with the Presence of the Light but asked those in F42, “Why show me such things to then cut me off from it”, I asked? “To nurture completeness”, They explained. Another paradox, but I understood.

I guess I’ll be wandering these deserts and mountains for awhile. Patience. Patience with confusion, apparently an important part of things for me now. Yet the meeting was actually encouraging or at least I felt ok w/ things now for the moment.

Jan 22, 2019 9:00PM (~5:00 LST))

Excellent EC Shielding. Solar Wind: 7.5 protons/cm3. Flares: A5

This meditation (F21) was to test clarity while having good EC shielding.

Mostly a complete dud however, there was one extremely clear image of someone looking directly at me about 2 feet away to use that descriptor. The image was vivid and substantial, clearer then I’ve seen in recent months though it lasted only for a moment. It was on the order of clarity one has while at TMI. I believe this individual whoever they are is a physical form, a humanoid but I don’t know what species they were.

Jan 23, 2019

Wed 8:15PM (4:23LST) Very Good-Excellent EC Shielding. 7.7 protons/cm3. Flares: A7

More clarity test meditation during good conditions. In this ‘trip’ I was gone for one hour, using shengong charging methods for awhile prior to leaving. In my affirmation I constrained and called to those that would only yield truth, valid constructs, free of deception or guile; if they would assist.

When I got to my SP27 and uncovered my sphere it was already bright with energy. I also access the energy conduit which surprised me. I didn’t think I could do it anymore.

Transitioning to AS I worked to maintain connection with my F42 mnemonic as the adjacent hall of AS slowly consolidated around me. I looked and saw Tellaidian walking slowing toward me as I said to him, “Master Tellaidian, Is that you”? To which he retorted with his usual whit, “Who else would I be?” He walked passed me on his way to his conference lounge. I followed him struggling to ‘perceive’ but once we got to his lounge area and sat down I maintained my determination to stay consolidate.

Then Tellaidian reached out and touched my arm, and slowly the room took on more form. I found we began moving forward. How were we moving? Walking? No. It was like drifting as if we were diffusing into an abyss. As we migrated I asked, “What am I perceiving?”. “Far”, was the only answer I received.

Tellaidian and I traveled longer but it was not like previous times. After awhile I felt or wondered, “Are we looking at the Root?” In a moment I sense I was in the region where I recognize the Ancients and I called, “Are you here”? Immediately they replied, “You are always with Us”. Be with Us now”, and I was with them a long time. It ‘seemed’ or felt just barely perceivable. One of Them turn and led me forward with It, with Them; I was beginning to tune in more.

Then this formless figure, a vague apparition paused and said to me, “The lesson for you is to wait”. “Yes. I see this”, and after a moment I said, “May I ask, I do not understand… The Wise One: how can there be any falsehood?”. In reply this One would only offered, “For this you must wait, but you will understand [someday]”. I become more aware of other subtle changes/movements/transitions among Them – as we were together.

“You desire to be with the Light”, It continued. “Yes. I wish to go back to the Great Hall and study it”, I answered and added, “As you know for a human the sense of the truth of an experience is associated with the strength of feeling of the experience. Can you strengthen this now”? Then as if someone stood before me, as if a faint ghostly cloud reached out and touched me, I felt vague shapes – hands as it were – on my shoulders facing me and then it was as if I could see, as if I could ‘feel’ – reassurance. I knew this most clearly – I knew that I knew. “Thank you”, I responded and soon found I was returning to Tellaidian after what seemed like a long time. Leaving it was as if these agents grouped and turned together, walking with or guiding me back.

In time I returned to Tellaidian and as we met I bowed to him saying, “Thank you Tellaidian”. Then it was as if we were ghosts, migrating – diffusing back slowly. Once back at his conference lounge, that construct gained presence but we were still remote from it; observing it as if ghosts. Tellaidian consolidated there but I remained behind observing much of the station, seeing large portions of it and where I was – as if a ghost being aware of all of it.

In time I return to Telladian and sat with him. I focus on apprehending his conference room. What is it that I am perceiving here I wondered? As I sat with Tellaidian I recognized what I was doing – I was ‘being’ there. Apprehending this I realized or remembered how much I want to be back with him.

In my world there is no one to explain what am I to do with all of this; what is happening? I realized and wondered, could Tellaidian be the one who could explain all this? I understood or decided that I would come back to be with Tellaidian as I sense my calm. I wondered and asked him “Are we looking at the Root”? He answered only saying, “Look … Watch. We will only watch [for now]”.

After a long time of clearly apprehending, I felt a need to get back – a sense of fatigue. Tellaidian immediately commented, “Your physical form calls you. You may go back or stay. There is not right or wrong. You are free to choose”, so I stayed longer with him. Then after a very long time it did seem like it was time to go.

As I turned to exit I saw Anosh, standing there as if she was observing me from a great distance. “Is that you Anosh”? I called out to her. “It is I”, she called back. After a few moments of looking at each other, knowing she was at this great distance, I left passing out the conference room entrance – passing through her as if we were both ghosts.

I returned and found myself to be very tired.

January 27, 2010

3:30Pm (23:54 LST) Marginal to little Earth Shielding. Moderately low Solar Wind: 4 protons/cm3 Solar Flares: A4 – Zilch

F42: Considerable more images (dream-like) in this meditation but all perceptions elusive

Jan 28, 2019

3:45-4:45PM (Start 0:13 LST). Marginal Earth Shielding but very low solar wind: 0.5 protons/cm3/ Flare: B1

F42: I went to Tellaidian’s conference room to do nothing but sit and watch. Two vividly clear photograph-like quality (remote-viewing) images of two locations on Earth. Very interesting and remarkably clear. TMI site-like image quality. No other content.

January 29, 2019

4:00–5:00PM (Star 0:32 LST). Marginal Earth Shielding. Trivial Solar wind: 1.2 protons/cm3/ Flare:. This one was a dud except I saw the head and face of a wolf next to me. Was that Growler? No other content.