The 2nd Signal Ship (May-June-July 2018)

May 13th, 2018 (High country of Colorado)

I am so tired of this mental metaphysical grind but at least there is new found beauty in the Spring of these high alpine places. To again try and go back? How many times have I tried. Now They say I should try again? Has the season changed with the commencement at hand? I’m tired of this inability or refusal to demonstrate the truth of things previously stated. The whole thing is preposterous. It is impossible.

5/15/18

I’d tried to get back and I am rusty. I addressed Those I Know. Then I wondered if I saw Devenoir? I don’t know. Later in 21 I saw the sachem and sort of felt it was him, but is that true? It’s just too faint to know.

Later, a Tellaidian meeting … but how am I suppose to know that is real? After a while I left and afterwords I wondered if i gave up too easily.

May 30th, 2018 New Communications

I’ve been disinclined go back. Its like beating my head against a wall. Until words are proven I don’t know why I should allow a possible delusion to continue.

This evening I went to F21 to see who or what might be there. After awhile I let my rant loose challenging all those who said I may be with Them, “Where are You now”, I demanded. After being in their face about this and getting no answer I left intending to no longer return. I’m through with this.

Then about 30 minutes after that meditation I went outside to listen to the birds, watch the evening and suddenly “They” came through into the physical world overlapping my mind and began to speak to me. It was so strange, the clear separation of the source of thoughts here in the physical; I’m pretty sure this isn’t me. It was like before…seeing the City, being in both places (April 20th, 2018 New Vision).

“We are with you”, They announced and I replied, “WHO – is with me”? “All of Us”, They said. “[But] Who are you”, I pressed. “You know Us”, They said. I was somehow aware of all of them: the Old Ones, the Wise One, the Ancients…. “Please increase the distinction between me and You so I may discern You more clearly”, I asked but I was surprised and puzzled by this encounter. They were actually already clear; so surprising, the vividness.

I understood this is what They said recently, that they would be communicating with me differently, in real-time, and I also remembered that this had been spoken of a few years ago too; direct communication.

Then They said, “All we ask of you is that you trust us”, and I felt peace being with Them. “I wish to but I do not know how to”, I explained as I saw this would be a new phase, learning to do this. I also understood nuances in what They previously said previously. I had not considered that there is actually nothing They’ve said that has been proven to be untrue; there is another interpretation of what They say.

Again I heard, “All we ask of you is to trust us”, They repeated. Then They said, “Look at Us”. I understood that I should be able to look right at them and be with Then while in the physical, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t open my perception that way.

The conversation last about 15 minutes and I found I yielded my former haste position. I will try to trust as They asked. I wish I could get back to the Fountain of Light at the Great Hall. I wish I could be with Tellaidian again…. “Because you are so cynical”, was replied distantly and They were gone.

So everything has changed. There is hope, peace, the future. It was so dark and hopeless before. Now there is light again.

June 8th, 2018

Not much has been happening lately, and it all looks kinda unbelievable to me again. One is suppose to trust; trust ‘who’ … to be what? Trust ‘what’ ….. to be who? Then They disappear again without factual support. Should I trust in something that may be a delusion? How can one trust something like that? Isn’t truth more fundamental then trust?

I did try a couple of days of forcing myself back into meditation; even did 5 hemi-sync sessions in one day like at TMI…charging, but nothing. Is it too much to ask to be answered? There were a few things that I did detect faintly, or did I? Did I detect something or were those simply fragments of my own front loaded imagination? Were they authentic signals? Why should I consider something so faint to be authentic? These signals are too faint to believe. I just want to know they’re correct.

June 9th, 2018 – The 2nd Signal Ship

I’d should start this discussion first by mentioning some facts. There are certainly things in the sky that flash at night. Much is space junk and reflections off of antennas or solar panel arrays on satellites such as those observed on the Iridium Satellite Constellation; the brightest flash producers. Objects such as these produce a noted trajectory. There are also catalogs of satellite, space garbage, booster stages orbits floating in space from which one can find out what’s up tonight.

See YouTube examples of flashes:

https://youtu.be/uymzXNdXwmo

https://youtu.be/ecVhNOrET1w

https://youtu.be/fI_iUOeJEGg

One oddity of the objects I’ve seen is they are stationary, flash coincidently with my viewing and thoughts, and after a few moments clearly move off. As an aside I also had two orbs fly over my apartment in New England at very low altitude years ago. That was something – classic UFOs.

Satellites that are appear stationary are objects in geosynchronous orbits. They are very dim, require at least binoculars to see, and a exact knowledge of where they are. When viewed in a telescope they appear to move very slowly eastward when watched against the night sky’s star natural rotation. Star rotation isn’t apparent to the human eye; one needs to look through a non-clockdriven telescope to clearly observe it. My encounters also happened well after sunset. Around sunset or sunrise is when most satellite flashes are observed.

As a preface to the encounter described below, I add on the night of the actually flash two reports of a single UFO were received from Fort Collins, CO looking SW and Cortez, CO slightly east. That does represent my general proximity that night. Also the two reports reported the object within 18 minutes of each other; the time of those events agreeing with my time of observation. For one of the accounts NUFORC.Org (like MUFON but not requiring a paid subscription to query) speculated the siting was an Iridium flare (satellite flare). However, examining the Iridium satellites positioning database for that date there was only one Iridium flare event that evening and that was over Rome. In sum something was there. It was reported by other observers and we have no explanation for what caused the light. Decide for yourself.

June 8th: I’ve stopped looking for the second signal ship that was promised last April 20th; just gave up waiting for it. Who knows when that might be – if ever?

Then last night while out looking at the moonless sky sitting on my camp chair, I saw starlight coming from low on the ground in the dark Spruce forest where I was camped. I was fixated by it – about 30 feet from me. I looked at the point of light in the ink black darkness of the forest’s understory and looked back up at the stars; looking back and forth. How could that light on the ground look just like starlight and how can any light come from the ground here?!

What in the world could that be?! I have never seen anything like this in my life. This wasn’t a lightening bug as it was a steady point of light and there are no lightening bugs here. Nobody lost a small flashlight that was left on; I mean there’s no one here but me, and what could produce such a small sharp starlight-like point of light?

As I watched it, it remain perfectly constant, sharp as a point and it looked exactly like starlight. So I walked over to look at it and as I got closer the light continued to remain as a steady point of light coming from a large rock on the ground. Being moonless and under the canopy of dense trees the single point of light persisted in the background blackness. As I got nearer I was completely befuddle by this. What in the world could this be?

I took a pix from about 6 feet away (see above). Then I got to within one foot of the phenomena amazed and confused by what could this possibly be as I took another pix. The light was coming from a rock and when I got inches from it, peering at it in the black darkness I thought it must be bioluminescence. Took some closeups with my iPhone but the autofocus was unmanageable.

As I looked around at the surrounding forest there were no other rocks w lichen or even plain rocks that displayed this light at all and I’ve never seen this during the previous nine days I’ve been here, nor anywhere else I’ve been ever for that matter. How could it be so focused and so bright, plainly visible from 30 feet away; as bright and sharp as the stars in the Big Dipper? Later I Googled rock lichens and bioluminescence and found just a little information that didn’t seem to pertain.

June 9th: I decided to charge my digital camera and go back the next night to get some macro pictures of this point of light. That next evening I took my camera and went back to the particular rock that generated the light expecting to get a better macro-pix, but after waiting and waiting… there was no light from the rock’s lichen or anywhere near the ground. How could this happen once last night?

I stood for a moment disappointed wondering what caused this and as I was standing there looking down at the rock in pitch blackness a very bright light appear above me shining directly down on me. This grabbed my attention even as I was looking at the ground making me looked straight up and there I saw a stationary bright object that was much more brilliant then Venus directly over me. It was very bright and big among the normal background stars. I looked at it and just as I realized it was the expected signal ship it suddenly and completely disappeared.

I waited for an additional flash, but there was no second flash. If this is the signal I’ve been waiting for I would have liked a confirming flash, but nothing. As puzzled as I was I could not escape the knowledge that I did clearly see the very bright light above me that disappeared. There’s no doubt about that. Could it be space garbage reflecting the Sun? But if so it would likely be tumbling producing repetitive flashes.

Then I thought to myself why must the Wise One’s promise given this past April 20th be so ineffable. I cannot now or ever honestly say that what the Wise One promised has not just come true. I know what I saw, but why is it so cryptic? One thing is sure I guess – I cannot say that his signal did not occurred yet neither can I say that I know it “is” His signal, and where is the ‘help’ He he said He would send?

Was the lichen light a lure to get me into a position at a specific time so I would be able to see the signal ship flash overhead? The forest is thick and there are only a few places one can look straight up and see star here.

{Subsequently I have only discovered online lichens that fluoresce, but not luminesce in the Rockies. I also stopped in at two forest service offices in this area and they were baffled}.

June 10th, 2018 – Explanations from the Great Hall

I’m less hostile today, more calm; even did some hemi-sync for the practice of it. This late afternoon since I had nothing I felt like doing I did a long F21 track with no expectations.

I proceeded through my mnemonics carefully to keep them tuned up. When I got to F21 I thought I would just examine the environment; study my perceptions of it – practice. Then doing nothing more that something said to me, “Come”. I presumed this meant to go to the City but I wasn’t sure and said. “I do not want to presume to go to the City unless invited”, and in reply again I heard, “Come”.

Things were very vague and I made slow progress getting to the wall of the City. When I got there I was unsure about where I was. Am I in focus 21 or focus 42 as I considered that the Wall seemed to be different then in F21. I wasn’t sure what to do or where I was and something said strongly, “Enter”.

I passed through the Wall and when I was inside the City no one was there to greet me. I didn’t know what to do. This generally isn’t how it works here. As I stayed there considering all this something said to me, “You are with Us”, and I recognized ‘Those I Know’.

Suddenly I had a short but clear view of a pedestrian path before me and saw that it lead to the transport area. Traveling along the walk I noticed the Tower but disregarded it. I continued my way to meet the individual at the transport area who appeared to be waiting for me. This individual reminded me of the one I met the first time I was on the transport but it was unclear whether this was the same individual. I bowed to him in greeting and got on the transport; again unclear what this function is but it ‘seemed’ like a boat or something buoyant. We departed.

In time I clearly saw we arrived at the immense staircase of the Great Hall. I thanked the transport attendant and climbed onto the foundation at the base of the steps. I looked down and saw nothing. The transport was still there but what it ‘is’ below us – supporting us – I could not comprehend or describe. I turned and began a purposeful hike up the long stairs.

Arriving at the top there was one attendant who greet me pleasantly. He gestured that I enter as I looked around and detected no one else other then the attendant and myself. I walked slowly into the Hall’s interior and something said to me, “Greetings. Come further”, and so I slowly walked deeper into the Hall’s inner darkness. I felt at times very conflicted by what I sensed but then I had glimpses of the Twelve Pillars of The Ancients. This made me wonder whether what I felt was the presence of their dualities and whether I might actually be in focus 42. I wondered what would happen next.

The view of the Pillars came and went and at this time I felt a massive silent presence near me which I believed was the Wise One, but immediately I detected a women approaching me from the right end of the Hall and as she came closer I wondered if this was the same individual who spoke to me at the Lifelines (1st) course – about the Earth’s Recovery. I clearly recognized her but still wondered about the actual identity of this creature.

She wore a long draped white gown as before and had the most pleasant continence. We stood together for a moment and then she asked me, “You come here of your own free will”? I answered “Yes”. Then she asked, “Yet you also leave willfully. Why”?

I explained, “It is a great joy to be here and I long to be here yet I am deeply conflicted. The things said to me are hard to accept – too incredible. It is with great frustration that I have asked many times of “Those I know” to let me know or provide some signature that demonstrates this is a valid construct, but They are unwilling. It hurts to recognized that this is too much to ask of Them. So it is frustrating and this causes me to leave”. After a pause the goddess-like figure assessed, “Your thinking is clear”. “Your reasons are fair”, she added.

She said nothing more but she took my arm in her’s as she turned and led me toward the right side of the Hall. As we walked together I soon saw light shining in between the enormous columns there and then we walked out to stand on the portico just beyond the columns looking out over the City – beautiful.

Looking at the City she said, “This was built in time; first a foundation, then construct works, and then an edifice. There is a mission in time for you. Your foundation has been laid [in you]”. In reply I said, “I am willing to complete the missions you wish, but I need to know these are not fanciful delusions; to know the truth of these matters.

I asked her directly, Are the lights I just saw (in recent days) the second signal ship that the Wise One had promised me”? “Yes”, she answered and more persistently I stated, “I need to know that is true”, to which she would only said, “……. It is”.

I continued, “Why must that signal be so cryptic? Why can’t one simply be shown”, I asked? “This is our way”, she answered but then explained, “This way is a mixture of what you call dualities but what are ingredients … as in baking a cake. The ingredients are mixed and then the substance is allowed a time in the oven. Later the result is apparent”. Then she turned, again taking my arm in her arm, and led me back toward the interior of the Hall.

As we walked into the Hall the hemi-sync narration began to interrupt designating an exit. Recognizing that, this individual turned and looking at me ever so pleasantly she said to me, “You may stay”. As I was considering the exit she repeat several times, “You may stay”. Does this mean part of me may stay… a part of me may remain resident with Them there? I gave up the thought of exiting and decided to stay with her or Them as best I could as long as I could.

Afterwards I found I had a calmer attitude and feel more peaceful about all this. At least right now I’m not struggling with the confusion.

Thursday Night: manual-meditation.

I was not going to write about this but maybe there’s some message in this I should remember. I thought I heard Those I Know call me. So I went to meditation expecting a more clear signal but I did not find that.

I got to F21 and considered working at the Obelisk and called out to Yurael but didn’t think I found her. I thought she was suppose to be here whenever I’m here. I proceeded to use the Obelisk to call out to the Monsoon. After that i felt I found what I may do with the Obelisk and then it seem Yurael was there as I turned away from the structure.

I headed to the Green Wall. Eventually I entered the City but found nothing. I wondered if Veronica might be there and I heard, “I am here”, but I decided that for a signal that weak I’m not going to considered this as valid and I pressed on.

Did I get to the transport? Seemed maybe so. Once at the Great Hall I thought to consult an attendant but was surprised to immediately become aware of the Presence of the Light personified. I went to her again noting her beautiful black hair. She took me by the arm and led me to the Light (Fountain of Light).

This also happened just a couple of days ago but I did not write of the matter because it was so very faint. Now, as at that time, when I was with the Light I again could comprehend nothing – nothing at all. Why take me here only to find nothing and this discouraged me.

At this time I voiced my difficulty to the goddess-like creature; my concern that this leads to nowhere I can comprehend as before and that I need to know the truth of this. After a paused she said to me, “There can be no balance without truth”. Then She turned and led me into the Light. The Presence lead me further in. We moved in and up – and then I was alone in emptiness.

After some moments detecting nothing I called out to the emptiness, “Are you the Light”, as I could detect nothing and suddenly I was facing a bright light as if looking at the Sun. It filled my field of view as if I was as close as Mercury and after a moment – it disappeared. Then I saw my old vision of the Ancient of Days – quite clearly – but then it was gone too.

As I tried to understand who or what the Light was I called out, “Are you the First Light”, (referring to the light that illuminates the Twelve Pillars of the Ancients) and in reply I heard, “All Light”. It was a real struggle trying to make sense out of the lack of substantive contact and again I became discourage at the opaque meaning of this. Why must it be like this?

Suddenly there was a massive presence that approached and all I could detect was the immensity of it as I was with it. It was with me a long time but I learned nothing from it. I gave up trying to understand this and decided to leave. I was gone 50 minutes.

July 12th,

Many sessions. Getting no where. Same old stuff; mostly going to F42. Last session I met Atur and Anosh but that was so faint I don’t know what’s true about it. How can I accept that something so faint is authentic?

I was hesitant to engage this about to move on but Anosh and Atur where so insistent in their invitation. Anosh took my hand and began pulling me gently; Atur with his hand on my shoulder inviting me back to their ship. I could so leave right now I thought; really just right now … I don’t care about being here anymore.

We walked together down the Alpha Squared (AS) upper level hallway where my suite is toward a right-hand turn at an intersection in the walkway. We turned right heading up a shallow inclined aisle and soon turned left onto a gantry. With a couple steps we walked into their ship. We came to stand on an outer narrow walk-way of the ship with small rail looking down to the main floor of the ship which is like an oval atrium having this narrow walkway encircling it.

The place is very contemporary and homey, like a college dorm lounge hangout. The main level below was outlined by small rooms of various uses that circle the ships outer wall. The piloting area was to our right in the front of the main living area below us. This looked like a place I could stay. Ya know, I could live on the couch (The ship interior is on the order of 75’ by 45’). After a bit Atur left heading down the walk toward the stern area to work on something that interests him I think.

Anosh was so happy and excited. She led me, almost pulling me, to their forward observation lounge which is more like an upper level family room above the piloting area and we sat down together. I ask who the older Pleiadian on board was as I notice the figure sitting in one of the rooms below. She explained it was her father.

We looked forward at the open space and stars. Anosh said brightly w great enthusiasm,” To travel, it is good”, as if she loves to explore and I returned, “Whether it is good may depend on those one is with”.

After a moment I ask how is that the Great Ones chose and contacted them to come see me but Anosh offered no explanation. I wondered at that. If we are truly communicating surely she could tell me this, or at least she could explain why she can not speak of the matter. I considered why should I believe this faint signal while one can’t communicate in ways other than the most superficial? I turned my attention outward wondering out-load broadcasting, “Where are Those who say They are with me? Where is the Wise One, my family; surely at least they are here?”

I called out further, “What is the truth of this? Is this the Pleiadians or not? Just tell me [why is that too much to ask]? Did I get an answer? Maybe, I don’t know; so faint, but really why is this too much to ask? These signals should be stronger than this and why contrive some encounter devoid of substantive communications. Why won’t Anosh tell me this matter?!

I left deciding there was no reason to be here.

7/18/18

I continue to be seriously sick. WTF: like I need this. I couldn’t make myself write about this earlier but given recent events I guess I should as to maintain the record. I’ve been working half-heartedly at getting back…

A few nights ago: Previously I went to F27 to be at my special place (SP27) practicing rooting out straight thoughts, memory loads. As I was there I suddenly could see, as if in the distance, the Great Hall and I could see walking among the coliseum pillars looking back at me the one who I first met during the Lifelines Course, the one that told me about the Great Recovery; who I also had again met recently as she explain Their ‘way’.

I couldn’t decide whether I was actually perceiving her correctly because the signal was so faint. Then she called out to me as if from a distance asking, “Why do you doubt”? I answered, “What should I believe about such a faint signal? I myself could be deluded about this and there has been those who have not spoken truly to me”. She looked at me as if considering my response.

Then I called back to her asking, “I have met you twice before. What is your role or what is our relationship with each other that I now meet you again”? “I am a teacher”, she replied. I look at her considering, wondering in what way this was true since I barely had any awareness of that place (this vexing lack of perception). After a moment she turned and returned to the dark interior of the Great Hall. I stayed for a short time and then also left.

*

The night following (7/19/18): I thought I would again work on my clarity, again going to F27. On the way in F21 I thought I sensed the Ancestrals. It’s just painful to remember the perceptions I use to have. Now passing into 23 I paused noticing the angel that I have see here at other times but was unconvinced that it was truly there. I did however, turn to it making a request about a concern I observed while passing through F22 and then I proceeded.

Passing through the Belief Territories I could almost cry. I remember places here. Why show any of that to me. There is so much misery in the world and fruitlessness even here. When I arrive in F27 I was surprised to see a Tall Being (TB) standing there waiting for me. It was so tall. It directly me to follow and we went together to the Healing aspects.

We eventually entered what I see as a Forest Service cabin. The TB continued down the hall as I paused to greet the receptionist. When I caught up to him I found two other apprentices standing there. They looked at me as if shocked, or not knowing what to do as they looked at me. Then the very tall TB directed me to sit and he placed his hand on my chest. I tried to rest allowing the TB to go about its work. I noticed another TB approach. Given the features: smoother skin, gentler aspects and features, I wondered that this might be a female. She only stood and observed.

Then the principle very Tall Being said to me, “This is not from inside you. It comes from outside… It comes from outside”. He seemed to be complete with whatever he was doing and left. Then the one I thought was female stepped up to me and placed her hand on my forehead. After a time we were done, and when I stood up I towered above them and as I left it was as if i needed to stoop. At the receptionists area I paused to impart a small blessing.

When I exited the healing aspect there was someone waiting for me. Was this Sa-Tash? I couldn’t be sure he was so faint but I knew there are other species that look similar to him. Who is this I wondered. I inquired, “I am not clear regarding the kind I am observing”. Then the individual replied with a gesture of his hand to the place one of this kind had previously told me of; where I would go immediately after I die. I then recognized more clearly the species but wasn’t sure whether this was the same individual I met before.

This individual then led me away from the Healing aspect and in time we approached the Planning aspect. I wondered why go there? I have not been here since Exploration 27 a couple years ago; I have no business here I thought. When we arrived I dimly recognized the area and then the one who led me here turned and left.

Next I saw the individual, a species here before that supervises the area as she stood on the terrace overseeing operations (as during Exploration 27) but I was not sure if this was the same individual I met before. I remained on ground level. Then she said to me, “Come up here. You are not my inferior”.

So I stepped up onto the terrace to join her looking over the Planning area. She directly said to me, “You wonder why your requests have not come to pass”. “That is correct”, I directly replied. She continued, “Concerning your first request, we have made good progress. However, more challenges continue to arise and we have not been able to complete the task”. I understood what she was referring to as she added, “Regarding your second request, this will take more time”.

After a moment I asked, “This service … and the Healing aspect: there are other worlds, are such services provided for other worlds also”? “Yes”, she replied, “We [are as gilds] in healing arts, going to worlds that have such needs [similar to your ‘hospitals’]. “What do you need [in your mission]? Is [additional] support needed?” I asked. “Yes”, is all she said in reply. “I will remember”, I said to her as I considered this new problem. But the grief, it is all so sad and I am so tired of all this. All I could think of was leaving. Then she said, “You may return to solitude… if you wish”, and so thanking her I turned and went to my SP to rest.

At my SP I stayed there with no purpose other then to continue sorting thoughts and images, wondering about the truth of what had just happened. Suddenly large dark shadows flew over the mountainside just outside my window. I presumed that a couple of dragons were flying about. As I was considering leaving I headed for my door intending to provide a blessing to the dragons and suddenly Raphael appeared at my doorway. He stopped me saying, “Conserve your energy. It is not yet time”, but I continued past him saying, “I will bless the dragons”, and stepping out the door onto my portico I fashioned a blessing for the dragons anyway.

Comments: The next day I found I was well. The pain was completely gone and it appeared I was returned to normal.

I have no idea what to believe. Is the whole cosmos steeped in conflict and grief? Are there any worlds or places not plagued by some dark whim of dualities?

I asked the I Ching:

“I have no idea what is true about this; the signals are unbelievably weak. Why believe them?”

The I Ching Replies: Gua 51: Shock.

(Carol K. Anthony’s translation) In the I Ching shock means being subjected to unsettling events. It also means perceiving and reacting to these events. Shock may occur when a person gets fired, loses his license to drive, or has a car accident. It occurs whenever we encounter long term changes in our life, as in a separation or divorce, or death of someone close. It also occurs on the sudden perception of approaching old age, or in perceiving, in any of these changes, that a new set of limits, or deprivations, has been placed on our life which seem to restrict or even penalize us. This sense of being projected by events into a sort of emotional trap is what this hexagram calls “Fate.”

The ultimate development of our character is expressed thus: when the thunder spreads terror “a hundred miles around,” we remain “so composed and reverent” that the sacrificial rite is not interrupted. This is the standard we are capable of achieving.

Moving Line 4: Shock is mired.

Shock makes us feel “all is lost.” We no longer see our progress as meaningful; all effort seems wasted. This is simply the effect of shock, or the way our ego sees the situation. Characteristically, it over-reacts; it cannot see without distortion. As long as it rules, our ideas remain fixed in tradition, not yet liberated by the new realizations to come. We can control our ego by “keeping still.”

Moving line 6: Withdraw from effects of shock

We must not let shocking events cause us to vilify the Sage, Fate, God, or the people who have wronged us. Shock brings an end to the old, but also a beginning to the new, even though we encounter many dangers to get there. Meanwhile, we must withdraw from the negative effects of shock.

If we wonder how to relate to bad or good events, the answer is, “Don’t.” We must not take hold of the problem or get involved in its particulars; it will pass. We will regain clarity and understand the shock for what it is.

July21st

Charging. Lots of practice meditations. I can’t get thru at all. Total zero.

7/24 I’ve been in meditation and charging a few days. I just cant figure out these faint signals.

July 31st, 2018

Many attempts – still getting nowhere. Yet I think I finally understand. “There can be no balance without truth”. That is what the Presence of the Light said to me. That’s why I am aware of the dualities but can’t maintain myself with them – because I don’t know the truth of it.